The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
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Hello everyone Today's C2C speaks of developing the ability to accept and grow from constructive criticism because we are, at the same time, learning not to judge our personal value and worth on how we think others perceive us. It mentions being able to "risk disapproval" and having the courage to learn more about ourselves. I think this is a really rich topic that draws on our ability to take honest inventory and the freedom we gain when we start to see our own "defects" as opportunities for growth or even misused strengths we can build on. It's a very topical reading for me today as I have just this afternoon applied for a job in which I will be supervised and accountable (I have always actively avoided these types of roles because I considered myself so "bad" at taking criticism and instruction). I feel ready but I'll certainly be relying very heavily on my al-anon tool-kit and trying to remember not to take criticism or suggestions as an attack- something I think I learned to do as a defence growing up with and then being in relationships with difficult and often drunk people. I'm glad this reading came along today as I was quite specifically worrying about this particular character "defect" in myself and how I will manage it if I get the new job. Lo and behold, the answer appeared. Magic
Thanks YKM for your service and above ESH. Program has given me courage, more confidence, and self-esteem I lacked before. Because I care about myself now, I try to take criticism with a grain of salt, not to overreact, and consider what was said over time. Is there any truth to it? Also, if the person giving the criticism can do it in a respectful, professional way, that is a plus. I must accept I am not perfect and still have lots to learn about many things. All the best to you with this job situation!
Constructive criticism...I really don't mind that so much if it's actually constructive. That's way different than just criticism,which I don't take well most of the time.
I guess that's all I have to say about this topic LOL,cause I can't remember the last time I had actual constructive criticism. If the topic was just criticism I would have much to say.
Thanks for your service YKM, and all for earnest and honest ESH.
Such a great page, such an important concept. Alanon has helped me immensely to break the cycle of:
* Fearful defense
* Weighing the validity of the criticism against what I could find wrong with the person giving it
* Confusing criticism or room for improvement with failure
In the rooms I heard early on that I could learn something from every human being, including the alcoholic. I could learn something from every situation bad/good, successful/catastrophic.
Alanon was the beginning of reaching a point that I am better able to look at the absolute gains to be made from observations of another person, and I am such a better person because of it.
Thank you Alanon
__________________
Paul
"...when we try to control others, we lose the ability to manage our own lives." - Paths to Recovery
