I'm going to copy this paragraph:  I came to alanon to discover how to get a loved one to stop drinking, hoping that my life would then return to normal.  In alanon I came to understand that I did not cause alcoholism, I can't control it, and I can't cure it [the 3 C's].  But I can apply the Twelve Steps to my own life so that I can find sanity and contentment whether the alcoholic is still drinking or not.  This is why, in alanon, the focus must be on me.

The writer goes on to say that they discovered they had problems themself, caused by the disease, and had not been aware of them.  Alanon helped them find their true self, and they began to grow again.

^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

I don't know what else to say except this is my story for sure, and perhaps for many program people as well.  I came to fix someone else, and instead, I'm learning to fix me.  Amen.