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Post Info TOPIC: 7/26/22 C2C - Trading Illusion for Spiritual Reality


~*Service Worker*~

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Posts: 863
Date:
7/26/22 C2C - Trading Illusion for Spiritual Reality


Today's page considers the depth of the illusions we can carry. The writer noted how they became determined to stop controlling others, only to realize that the thought they could control others was in fact, an illusion...

Illusion is also the source of the perception they lack something internally that can only filled by something external. This often takes the form of obsessions with the activities of others, unhealthy habits, ruminating. 

Spiritual emptiness can only be resolved internally, however. 

Reminder: Thoughts that I am not good enough, or need something outside of myself to be happy or 'whole', are illusions. Alanon can help me regain reality. 

"...human beings, by changing the inner attitudes of minds, can change the outer aspects of their lives." - William James
--------------------
I long mistook my ability to alter other's behavior as control, and the inserting of my opinions into others' lives as my responsibility. This was based upon my core belief that I knew what was best for myself and others.

My activity directed toward others was not matched by an effort to look at my own internal unrest and discover its true origins. 

When I tried to control someone else's drinking behavior, my illusion finally became apparent. Nothing I tried was successful. I was able to see that the insanity and powerlessness was my own, not just with alcohol, but in all areas of my life. 

In this way, realizing my powerless over alcohol was the gateway to my spiritual awakening, the straw that broke my illusion of control. 

Step 1 is still the key to my return to spiritual reality, my Inception's totem to differentiate reality from illusion and anchor my spiritual return to sanity...very grateful for the program 

 



__________________

Paul

"...when we try to control others, we lose the ability to manage our own lives."  - Paths to Recovery 



~*Service Worker*~

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Thank you Paul for your service and ESH. I too, thought I could change my A--wrong! Illusion is a false impression of reality. Delusion is a false belief or opinion, especially one that is irrational or psychotic. (from Webster's school & office dictionary). My false belief was definitely an illusion and bordered on delusion from the irrational standpoint. What came from an intent to help, became a control problem which led to misery for both of us. It is only through this program that I got a grip on myself and now have learned many important lessons. Always grateful.

__________________

Lyne



~*Service Worker*~

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Thank you Paul for your service and todays reading and to you and Lyne for both your shared ESH.

I am in agreement, that until I was able to fully embrace Step 1 and 2, that trying to convince AH to stop drinking was

one huge let down after another. I was so relieved to learn that it was not my place to control or cure AH.

__________________

"Forgiveness doesn't excuse bad behavior, but it

does prevent bad behavior from destroying your heart". ~ unknown

Debbie



Veteran Member

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Good morning

Before logging in here I was feeling pretty hopeless(again) and thought of a quote I had as my wallpaper on my phone in the past. It was "all you can change is yourself but sometimes that changes everything". And thinking of that made me think of Al-anon,so here I am. This is a much better way to start my day,for sure. Sometimes I feel so overwhelmed I actually forget/ignore pretty much everything except whatever it is I am going through while I am obsessing. So I am very grateful to be here today.


I won't go into detail but I had my illusions/delusions slap me in the face and into reality this week. I sobbed so hard I hurt my ribs on my right side. It was extremely painful,not my ribs but the reality of things. That I really and truly am powerless over others. No amount of love can change anyone. The saying "love changes everything" is not true at all when it comes to other people. We can love them but they are still going to be who they are. They will do what they do.

That being said, I do believe by loving myself I can change myself though. And maybe that really will change everything.

Have a good day everyone.



__________________


Senior Member

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Posts: 270
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Thanks Paul for your service and to everyone for their shares. I still tend to like the hula hoop analogy as a reminder of what's within my control and my business.  For me the issue of "spiritual emptiness" that this reading mentions is simply misplaced energy that could be better used by continuing to take healthy actions that honor my own physical, emotional and spiritual needs. Progress for me is maintaining my serenity and sanity by being self supporting. As with Al-anon, I needn't be distracted from my "primary purpose."

I like the reminder in this reading. The words "I am not enough," can be a catalyst. I can make a conscious choice to improve myself and my life. I'm grateful Al-anon and it's steps have helped me to look at myself critically and honestly because I now have proof that it works when I work it. I'm more sane and serene when I choose to be hands off concerning others affairs. In becoming healthier, I'm showing respect for myself and expressing gratitude to my higher power for my life. 

For me personally, unhealthy engagement has led to obsessive worry, enmeshment, over involvement and disruption to my daily living. There are healthier hobbies to have rather than brow knitting and control and rescue.  Grateful for progress in letting go.

 



__________________

Surround yourself with people and elements that support your destiny, not just your history.

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