The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
Today's page considers the depth of the illusions we can carry. The writer noted how they became determined to stop controlling others, only to realize that the thought they could control others was in fact, an illusion...
Illusion is also the source of the perception they lack something internally that can only filled by something external. This often takes the form of obsessions with the activities of others, unhealthy habits, ruminating.
Spiritual emptiness can only be resolved internally, however.
Reminder: Thoughts that I am not good enough, or need something outside of myself to be happy or 'whole', are illusions. Alanon can help me regain reality.
"...human beings, by changing the inner attitudes of minds, can change the outer aspects of their lives." - William James -------------------- I long mistook my ability to alter other's behavior as control, and the inserting of my opinions into others' lives as my responsibility. This was based upon my core belief that I knew what was best for myself and others.
My activity directed toward others was not matched by an effort to look at my own internal unrest and discover its true origins.
When I tried to control someone else's drinking behavior, my illusion finally became apparent. Nothing I tried was successful. I was able to see that the insanity and powerlessness was my own, not just with alcohol, but in all areas of my life.
In this way, realizing my powerless over alcohol was the gateway to my spiritual awakening, the straw that broke my illusion of control.
Step 1 is still the key to my return to spiritual reality, my Inception's totem to differentiate reality from illusion and anchor my spiritual return to sanity...very grateful for the program
__________________
Paul
"...when we try to control others, we lose the ability to manage our own lives." - Paths to Recovery
Thank you Paul for your service and ESH. I too, thought I could change my A--wrong! Illusion is a false impression of reality. Delusion is a false belief or opinion, especially one that is irrational or psychotic. (from Webster's school & office dictionary). My false belief was definitely an illusion and bordered on delusion from the irrational standpoint. What came from an intent to help, became a control problem which led to misery for both of us. It is only through this program that I got a grip on myself and now have learned many important lessons. Always grateful.
Before logging in here I was feeling pretty hopeless(again) and thought of a quote I had as my wallpaper on my phone in the past. It was "all you can change is yourself but sometimes that changes everything". And thinking of that made me think of Al-anon,so here I am. This is a much better way to start my day,for sure. Sometimes I feel so overwhelmed I actually forget/ignore pretty much everything except whatever it is I am going through while I am obsessing. So I am very grateful to be here today.
I won't go into detail but I had my illusions/delusions slap me in the face and into reality this week. I sobbed so hard I hurt my ribs on my right side. It was extremely painful,not my ribs but the reality of things. That I really and truly am powerless over others. No amount of love can change anyone. The saying "love changes everything" is not true at all when it comes to other people. We can love them but they are still going to be who they are. They will do what they do.
That being said, I do believe by loving myself I can change myself though. And maybe that really will change everything.
