Today's C2C speaks of being released from the need to prove ourselves right by assigning blame during conflicts. So often, when we live in constant conflict, we become score-keepers and prosecution lawyers, determined to prove that someone else is at fault so that we can feel secure that we are not to blame.
It's easy to see where that habit comes from; many of us have spent years under the constant pressure of unreasonable blame and it becomes a pre-emptive measure to assign blame before the finger is pointed at us.
An example that always leaps to my mind is in the early days of dating when my ex A got very drunk and passed out. I left and went home and 2 days later he called me, furious,  to tell me his pet bird had died because he had locked it in the laundry when he was drunk and it had drowned in the sink while he slept for 2 days. Apparently, I should have checked to see where the bird was before I left.
I know we aren't here to remember unfair or upsetting events but I try to think hard about how these experiences have altered my interactions now and it's quite easy for me to see that I can now be quite reactionary with my offspring, and I do indeed jump to the role of prosecution lawyer any time I feel like I might be under attack (when often I am not). It's very dysfunctional and something to be acutely aware of, and it helps to remember how that sort of nonsense felt to me when the shoe was on the other foot.
The reading suggests that we often assign blame to mitigate the discomfort of understanding that we are powerless; a simple and powerful reminder that it's quite OK to be just that- powerless.