The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
Bit late today folks, sorry. I can see tomorrow is already on the board! I'm about to talk about shortcomings; let's put "chronically late' at the top of my list.
Today's C2C talks of the very important distinction between humility and humiliation, and how many of us baulk at the thought of seeking humility at first, because for so many of us, feeling like a door-mat is what brought us to al-anon in the first place! I actually looked up humility in the dictionary and it said "the quality of having a modest or low view of one's importance" which is a really unfortunate interpretation. It's not hard to see where the confusion comes from though, is it? Many people view humility as just that.
In the context we use it, though, humility I think is about having a realistic view of our INFLUENCE and RESPONSIBILITY, not our importance. In coming to a deeper understanding of humility I learned that understanding the limitations of my control and influence over other people's affairs and external events (the things I cannot change) actually gave me agency to be a far more important character in my own life and gave me permission to stop expending all of my efforts trying to move mountains, instead giving me permission to focus on myself, my needs and the things that I could change. So humility is, in a sense, the "wisdom to know the difference" and a much more empowering quality than the dictionary would have us believe.
The reading also discusses accepting shortcomings as blocks to reaching our true selves. I'm not sure what a true self is, but I do like to try to view my defects as challenges to achieving my best self, whoever that happens to be on that particular day. Accepting that I have them with humility rather than humiliation makes it possible for me to work on myself and know when it's time to ask for help. Again, humility is far more productive than we are led to believe.
Thanks YKM for your service and all above ESH. (always better late than never in my book!) Betty taught me that humility meant quietness of heart, and there is a reading on it in C2C. I don't have my book here to give you the page number but if you are interested, PM me and I will give it to you when I get to my other location tomorrow. I guess to sum it up I equate humility with being the best person I can be, and that's what I should strive for. That means applying all the alanon tools I have as often as I can. This program has made me a better person and I will continue to work on it. :)
Good Morning Everyone. Thank you YKM for your service and all shares. I've been struggling with a problem which has forced me to do more self searching. It turns out I was wrong and my assumptions cut me down to size. Ego-Edging God Out- highlighted how destructive I can be when I try to solve problems on my own. My gracious HP humbled me and stopped me before I did more harm. I will practice Let Go and Let God.
