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last night i heard thru the grapevine that my ah went into rehab. but he still owes the rehab thousands from the last time....and they do not except dual diagnoses. which he is. my father is in the end stages of cancer. down to days i think. i am trying to be there for my dad as i am an only child. it's just me. so i get really sad thinking about my dad and all so i switch to thinking about my ah. haven't seen him in 3 months and neither have the kids.he called for a while but that stopped about 3 weeks ago. he moved in with his mother- very sick woman. i was/am doing well with detatching with love. like i said in another post last night when i heard i was mad for about 5 minutes at the lack of respect for my children- expecting someone to call me or them so that they would know what was going on. expecting...key word there. now, today i am curious. i am wondering about the truth and facts. i know he can have no contact for the first week and he doesn't have our address so he can't even write an explaination to the kids. how was i so dilusional to think that this man was i don't know a man?he is the disease.he is mentally ill. the reality is he abandoned the kids and i will not sugar coat that fact for him anymore. i am slightly mad as would anyone in this situation would be. but mostly i am curious. i suppose it's because i don't want to deal with the rest of the things going on in my life. i know i am better but.....powerless.i just keep saying a prayer for us all. god's will not mine. curiosity killed the cat, eh?
Loved the ending!!!! Curiosity killed the cat. I need to remember that, when I'm "dying" to know what my a has been doing and hidden behind my back!!!
I wish you luck in working everything out! I am sorry that your ah has abandoned his children and you! You are right though--I think--there comes a point when they really aren't men or people anymore they are just the disease. I have some friends who get aggravated with me when I say well what can I expect, he can't help it. I don't mean that he doesn't have a choice, but that choice comes before there has been a chemical entered into the body, once that happens there is no longer a choice until they can get completely cleaned out again, then they still have to fight the mental challenges. It must be even more difficult when they have a mental disorder on top of that!
Right now I think you need to be with your Dad, he only has days, you AH made his bed, he needs to learn the consequences of his behavior. You cannot get the time back with your Dad, you can't get end stage disease days back. In the circle of life our parents take care of us as children and when they age we need to be their for them, in my opinion. Sorry for Dad's trying time.
Josey
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Julianne - It's best to move on. You cannot look back in anger in life. It's too short
I am sad for you losing your dad. I too am going thru this. My daddy is dying of emphesema. It is taking a long time. horrible. But he won't allow any of us to come see him. I want to so bad.
Take care hon. Make sure you rest and be good to you. love,debilyn
