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Post Info TOPIC: 4/26/22 C2C - Custom Recovery, Use What you Like

~*Service Worker*~

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4/26/22 C2C - Custom Recovery, Use What you Like

While still new, perhaps our first visit or exposure to Alanon, we hear 'take what you like, leave the rest'. Alanon offers suggestions, does not enforce requirements. 

This allows many who would not otherwise accept certain aspects of the program to continue on, choosing a unique basket of recovery tools, concepts, and principles. In this way, many find they are able to discover a spiritual solution, including a higher power of their particular understanding, in a way that suits their them personally. 

Taking what we like while leaving the rest allows us to come to terms with our lives at our own pace, without feeling pressured or threatened, creating a great change environment.

Reminder: I can benefit from others' Experience, Strength and Hope and stay true to my heart.

"With the help of this program and my higher power, I take charge of fashioning, shaping, choosing what kind of life I will have." - all our Affairs
Without a doubt, this amazing feature of Alanon is the reason I was able to stick around long enough to find Serenity. This kind of freedom was different than anything I had ever experienced in a life that had seen nothing but high control, high leverage relationships and organizations.

The gift of desperation fueled my willingness to try anything, even something as repugnant to me at the time as hearing the word 'god' read and spoken of at meetings. 

What kept me there initially was the immediate in print and by other members that I could 1) create my own interpretation and definition of a higher power (amazing!), didn't even have to call it 'god' (is this even real?), and didn't have to say, do, repeat, or believe anything I didn't want to. 

I found it hard to believe, but wanted a solution badly enough to hang in until they sprung the trap, I found the catch...never happened. Over the next weeks and months, I worked daily on my own perceptions, beliefs, and one day realized that I was far, far from where I started, had felt more moments and periods of Serenity than ever in my life, and was in the grateful possession of spiritual concepts and foundation for building a new life...

The true freedom ALanon encourages is an incredible blessing to me, opening the door to all that is good in my life today. I have found nothing like it anywhere. I am so grateful




"...when we try to control others, we lose the ability to manage our own lives."  - Paths to Recovery 


~*Service Worker*~

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Posts: 2069

Thank you for your post and ESH, Paul.

"The gift of desperation fueled my willingness to try anything,..." I remember well my first experiences with coming to AlAnon as desperate and my journey to become willing. My dislike of my desperation quieted, giving way to comfort as AlAnon shows options, possibilities, skill sets and more. I am grateful.


~*Service Worker*~

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Posts: 2360

Thanks Paul for your service and for above ESH. Years ago my impression of 12 step meetings were that they were like a cult. I heard many people say "ODAT, live and let live," etc. It didn't feel comforting. My ex husband had joined scientology when I was pregnant with our son. That was a NIGHTMARE! But when my desperation set in about my A, I felt compelled to try alanon. It's been one of the best decisions of my life. No one forces me to do anything. I'm accepted the way I am. I was so lucky to have Betty for my first sponsor. I cannot say one negative thing about this program. Grateful member always. :)



Senior Member

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Posts: 476

Thank you Paul and to everyone for there shared experiences.

I knew nothing of Al-Anon until I googled and found MIP, you all helped me so
much from the very onset (those several years ago) of arriving here.

I find the literature and MIP keep me on track daily and agree Lyne, Al-Anon
was the best decision ever!!!

I have nothing further new to add, you all said it it so well!!

Grateful member as well!


"Forgiveness doesn't excuse bad behavior, but it

does prevent bad behavior from destroying your heart". ~ unknown


~*Service Worker*~

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Posts: 2755

Thank you Paul for your service and relatable share!

I began upon the advice of my spouse's rehab. I had every reservation you spoke of. I would do anything to help my spouse get better. However, I stayed b/c I could "Take what I wanted," and no one forced me to accept all things - I could tailor-make this thing to suit my needs!

Still grateful.


"The wolf that thrives, is the one you feed." - Cherokee legend

"Hello, sun in my face. Hello you who made the morning and spread it over the fields... Watch, now, how I start the day in happiness, in kindness."  Mary Oliver



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