The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
Wanting a quick resolution makes sense, who wants extended unpleasantness?
Impatience, however, does not bring better results, actually makes things worse as we take more aggressive steps to bring about the outcome we think is best.
When these don't work out, and even when they do, we find a way to place blame on others or even ourselves. The last thing we may be naturally inclined to do is what will bring peace: surrender, accept, look for guidance from our higher power.
Reminder: Willpower cannot resolves problems in a day that developed and strengthened over months and years.
"You cannot create a statue by smashing the marble with a hammer, and you cannot by force of arms release the spirit or the soul of man." - Confucius -------------------- I need this reminder every day. Impatience for me is wanting something to be different than it currently is, in a timeframe that I determine, also usually different.
This is the simple recipe for loss of serenity, a guarantee that I will feel anxious, angry, often both.
In the moment my simple go-to's are the Serenity Prayer, and the simple 'thy will, not mine' for a quick reset. When I use them, they always work.
Starting each morning with meditation helps prime my mind to be aware of the impatience and set a priority for restoring serenity.
Grateful for the wisdom and reminders, lord knows I need them
__________________
Paul
"...when we try to control others, we lose the ability to manage our own lives." - Paths to Recovery
Thank you Paul for your service and share. I used to have a very hard time waiting things out. I couldn't stand the unresolved and the not knowing--it made me very uncomfortable. These last few years I have started practicing the pause, pray, think, how important is it? I've found that by not immediately responding to a situation, and taking the time to reason things out, brings a much better solution. And sometimes my decision is to do nothing at all. I love this program!
This is a good topic,and a timely one. There's something pretty significant going on this week and AH and I are waiting on a phone call and a resolution to the situation. I am surprisingly very patient,knowing that however it turns out will be how it turns out. AH on the other hand, is so stressed,irritable,panicky,and many other negative things.
(I don't know why I am feeling pretty serene about the whole thing,tbh. Maybe using the tools I am learning and tuning it over to my HP has really helped after all).
It's quite interesting though,watching AH behave how I always have. It's a real eye opener. He's actually making the situation worse(for himself,not me) by being so impatient and trying to push things along,saying things he probably should not have that may change the outcome for the worse and by involving others that have absolutely nothing to do with it. I am not criticizing him by sharing this here,just saying it's been interesting. It's hard to see/realize when you're doing it yourself but to see someone else do it makes you go wow.
