The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
Sorry to post late this week folks. Early last week, late this week- get with the program, Mel!
The reading for the 31st discusses how many of us have developed immature cooping mechanisms when living with or perhaps growing up with alcoholism, and that when we arrive at al-anon we often start to grow up for the first time. But we can start to take ourtselves to seriously, so the reading reminds us to make time to enjoy life, making time for fun and laughter.
It's topical advice for me. Back when I lived in alcoholic drama, there was constantly something terrible or terrifying to occupy my mind and keep me running around with no time for introspection. Then, once I was away from the constant drama, I think I coped by making myself so busy that I didn't have to hear the silence or face the fact that I have become so used to the drama that I feel, well, honestly, bored and restless when there's nothing to wail and wring my hands about. It's been 4 years since my home was a combat zone and I still don't like to be alone with my own company, instead taking on far too much work, study and projects.
As of last month, my workload has reduced. I've finished two of the three courses I was studying (woohoo, I have actual qualifications at last!!!) and my work hours are flexible and not that demanding. In theory, I should reward myself by enjoying some free time but the reality is, I am so uncomfortable with my own company still that doing things just for fun is a bit of an endurance test. Based on what this reading says, I wonder if this is a sign that I have some work to do as avoiding my own company isn't really productive or mature at all, is it? Perhaps this is a golden opportunity to do some inner work by making an effort to do some things "just for fun". What an interesting idea, making myself have non-productive fun as a form of inner work.
What do you folk do for fun/laughs? Do others find they take themselves a bit too seriously, as I am realising I do?
Thanks Mel for your service and all above ESH. Lately I'm reviewing (and reminding) myself that I am powerless over my A's drinking and choice not to get help. I think I feel sad this week that nothing has changed and probably won't. So it's EXTREMELY important that I give myself joy with friends and family who add to my well being. Other favorites for me are walking in nature with my dog, taking a tai chi class on zoom, and face timing with my sister who lives across the country. I also have a wonderful brother who has survived colon cancer and I'm making him a birthday brunch tomorrow. That makes me very happy.
