The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
In today's reading the author reflects on how a bee hive can teach the lesson of detachment - when a colony of bees is at work, as long as one keeps a safe distance and doesn't poke one's nose into the hive, we will be fine. The author reflects that it is their choice, when they sense that a situation is dangerous to their physical, mental, or spiritual well-being, to put extra distance between themselves and the situation. At times, this means not getting overly emotionally involved in a problem, at other times, it can mean physically leaving a room or ending a conversation. sometimes, the author choses to put some spiritual distance between themselves and another person's behavior. This doesn't mean that the author stops loving the person, only that the author recognizes and acknowledges the risks to their own well-being, and makes choices to take care of themself.
Today's Reminder: Now I know how to end an argument by simply refusing to participate, to turn to mu Higher Power for help with whatever I'm powerless to change, to say, "No," when I mean no, and to step back from insanity rather than diving into it. Detachment is a loving gift I continue to give myself and to others.
Today's Quote: "If a man carries his own lantern, he need not fear darkness." Hasidic saying.
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I really like the reading about detachment. Detachment is something that I struggled with, and can still struggle with. Reminding myself to make choices that are good for me first, and avoiding sticking my nose in the "bee hive" brings me a lot of peace and serenity. It can be really hard to know when detachment is needed, so I use a technique that I heard in a meeting once - touching my heart and asking myself if I was ok. Then, asking "why" at least 3 times. This really helps me to identify the difference between myself and someone else, between my emotions and someone else's emotions, between my problems and someone else's problems.
I hope you make today a great day!
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Skorpi
If you are depressed, you are living in the past. If you are anxious, you are living in the future. If you are at peace, you are living in the present. - Lao Tzu
Thanks Skorpi for you service and ESH. The part of the reading that I need today is that reminder about if you dont want to have an argument, dont participate. There cant be a problem between two people if one is turning away, changing their focus, leaning into HP for help, and reciting a couple steps or slogans wouldnt hurt at that moment either. Its truly a simple concept yet sometimes so hard to do. Practice, practice, practice, to reach progress not perfection. :)
I liked the simple metaphor of detaching from that which isn't mine to connect with. In the past up to last evenings inventory I re-examined how often I got into trouble and stayed that way. It was a habit of mine to get informed in the hive and therefore a seemingly impossible task to connect with freedom of mind, body, spirit and emotions. In time I found it easy and a blessing to get and maintain that freedom yet now I am slipping with it. I readmitted that fighting the fight was a big part of my ego which I am working at reversing as I learned with my former sponsor.
"When what you are doing results in negative and problems...do the opposite and get the opposite, he taught me". I can use detachment daily and it puts me face to face and in the presence of my Higher Power.
Thank you...OH!! EGO I learned is "Easing God Out"...the opposite is Offering God Entry" It works when I work it. (((((Hugs)))))
Thank you Skorpi for your service and all shares. DM2021 summed up my thoughts beautifully. Also, practicing Alanon detachment tools help me create and honour personal boundaries . I don't OBSESS as much over people 's behaviours. Most importantly, I am learning to detach (with love) not amputate (with resentment).
Thank you Skorpi for your service and the daily. I remember hearing, "Not my circus; not my monkeys!" shortly after entering Al-Anon. As with so many things I heard early on, it didn't really register or have a meaning in my mind at the time. Yet, as with every single thing I've heard from those who came before me, it made perfect sense one day - and flew into the front of my mind!
What I take from this is stay out of the middle. Stay out of the fray. Sit still with HP and just be. This too shall pass. In my world, it can be words between brothers, words directed at me, choices that make my eyes roll, etc. - it truly doesn't need 'my expertise', my commentary, my involvement.
It takes a great level of personal restraint (for me) to be still and allow what's going to happen happen. This goes against life-long habits of trying to make peace, be the change, solve, world hunger, etc. It has taken great intentional practice, daily, one day at a time to recognize I am not the center of all that is happening around me - even when it feels that way!
We had another lovely, mild day in my neck of the woods. We did get out and golf again. It was lovely. We have another day/so before our winter weather returns. It's been interesting to figure out how to navigate the greens when some are frozen solid and others are marshy mush. We've had a lot of laughs trying to add a different dimension to this crazy game.
Just yesterday, in a conversation with a great friend, I admitted fully that what gets me into the most trouble and causes me the most strain in this thing called life is right smack between my ears. Left to my own, I can think myself right into the middle of 'messy'. It is this program, my HP, the practice we suggest and willingness that help keep me centered. Grateful!!
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Practice the PAUSE...Pause before judging. Pause before assuming. Pause before accusing. Pause whenever you are about to react harshly and you will avoid doing and saying things you will later regret. ~~~~ Lori Deschene
