The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
Who do we show ourselves to be in public, work, home asked a member...Does the alcoholic get the same happy face we take to Alanon meetings, our boss, fellow workers?
Reminder: Honestly compare the roles we play in different life arenas. Do strangers and those we seek to impress receive better treatment than those at home? People in our home circle deserve our best and will respond better to respect, kindness than scowls, scolding and open disapproval.
"A merry heart doeth good like a medicine, but a broken spirit drieth the bones." - proverb ------------------------- Today's reading hits me hard and is a much needed callout.
I have let my effort slide in this area and am guilty of acting very hypocritically: maintaining the charming, positive, good natured bloke at work and socially even under trying circumstances, while allowing an increasingly surly, impatient disposition to show up uninvited at home.
I found myself excusing it, 'it's always different at home, inevitable...besides, we already discussed this issue, they are not doing their part.'
I do not have the right to treat anyone unkindly, period. I seem temporarily to have forgotten that and let arrogance slip in, that somehow I didn't need to extend the effort to pleasant, they 'know' me and don't need the pleasantries required with less intimate associates.
Today's reading reminds me that I have it backwards, and I have been lazy. The repercussions are evident in a decline in communication quality, effectiveness and household cooperation.
Grateful Alanon points me to the solution
__________________
Paul
"...when we try to control others, we lose the ability to manage our own lives." - Paths to Recovery
Paul, what a great choice of a daily and appreciate your honest share. Its taken me years practicing alanon tools to reach a point of peace with my A. For the past few years, most of the time, I am the same person in and out of the house. But for many years before this, I was a snarly, detached, spouse, trying to force solutions, and/or having a huge wall between us. I could not accept/understand, that someone chooses addiction that included drinking and driving=maybe killing someone. This is a Yale graduate I am speaking of, but honestly, anyone who drinks and drives is beyond my comprehension. My A is still active at times, but I no longer see or am aware of drinking and driving, slurred words, being off balance, etc., which has helped me with my coping of this situation. As I re-read what I have written I am still amazed at how destructive the illness of alcoholism is.
