The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
Today's reading is about how we make choices and decisions. Forethought -- including kindness toward other people affected by the decision -- will result in decisions we can live with comfortably. If we are feeling angry or agitated, it is wise to wait until the feeling has subsided so that we can calmly consider our decision before taking action.
Today's Reminder: I will remember that a decision I make in a time of crisis might not be the one I would make when the crisis is past. I will not rashly take a step which I may afterward regret.
Quote from Proust: "All our resolves and decisions are made in a mood or frame of mind which is certain to change."
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This reading is timely for me because I have been really trying to practice the PAUSE -- which I think stands for Please Assist Until Serenity Enters -- and for me this means asking my higher power or my higher consciousness to get me to Do Nothing while I calmly consider whether I ought to Do Something. I have been working on this when I want to respond quickly to an email, or when a service position needs to be filled, or when anyone makes a request of me.
Getting things done quickly can be an asset -- except when it's not. I once had a manager who told me I was the only employee she'd ever had that she had to tell to slow down. Who knew? Getting that report done two weeks early was not the best idea, because all the data wasn't in yet.
I'm coming to the conclusion that fast and mindless is not as good as slow and mindful. When I jump too quickly, often I find myself regretting the way I worded that email, or feeling stuck with a task I resent, or worse, I might resent a person whose request I agreed to without pausing to think about my own needs.
I am really a work in progress on this. Sometimes I remember to slow down and pause -- sometimes I don't. I am hoping practice will bring progress.
MIP friends, are you able to pause before making choices? (And if you are, please tell me your secret.)
Ft, thanks for your service and ESH. Pause is a valuable tool for me. Many times in the past I responded or took action in haste, only to have regrets later. The slogan for me could be Pause and Think! And sometimes less is more. I'm always learning new things....
Thank you for your service FT, and all above for your ESH on a great topic...
In my endeavors, I tend to be task/time oriented over people/feelings oriented. I may unintentionally lean toward being dismissive, but combined with a lingering issue or resentment my communication carries a message different than I intended, and damage to others that is not deserved or easily forgotten.
I and all involved are much better served by the Pause, remembering that pushing out a decision or statement just to cross it off my list is unwise when I am not able to deliver it with the care it deserves.
I so appreciate the reminder that if the decision involves other people, "...it is well to include such ingredients as love, generosity, tolerance and just plain kindness."
So simple, yet easy for my overlook when I am focused on my own selfish goals rather than thinking of the feelings of others.
Grateful for the reminder
__________________
Paul
"...when we try to control others, we lose the ability to manage our own lives." - Paths to Recovery