Did somestudying this afternoon on our survey.  One thingI think that will solve a lot of problems is living by the Golden Rule.

Twelve-Step programs are a microcosm of the larger society around us. Addiction doesn't discriminate; it cuts across socio-economic lines and racial and gender boundaries equally. That's not to say we're one big happy family all of the time, sitting around and singing ``Kum Ba Yah'' at every meeting. I've seen disagreements, heated discussions, ugly arguments and near-fights as well. But those are few and far between, because putting principles before personalities helps us rise above our petty differences.  If we all think before we type these petty differences will be farther and farther between.

It boils down to this -- I may not like someone I meet in recovery. I may disagree with what they have to say and how they live their lives. They might make me uncomfortable because of their beliefs, or they might just get on my nerves for no good reason at all. But I'm doing myself a disservice if I let their personality close my mind to what they have to say.  We can still learn, even from the most annoying or from the newcomer to MIP, they may have years of experience somewhere else.

Just because I might not like them as an individual doesn't mean they can't teach me something. Even if I look at them as a hypocrite, as someone who doesn't walk the walk or practice what they preach, I can still learn from them; at the very least, their actions can demonstrate to me how not to live my life.

Being in recovery doesn't mean we automatically become friends with everyone who walks through the door. It doesn't mean that we're required to be in awe of someone who's been cin Alanon for 20-plus years, it doesn't mean they work the program! The person with one year may have studied more books, attended more meetings, worked with a sponsor than a person with "20 years in Al-Anon".

But if I want to make the most of my recovery experience, I would be wise to shut down my internal judgmental thoughts and listen to what they have to say, because it just might save my life. They still have experience, strength and hope to share with me, regardless of what sort of person I perceive them to be, and I can draw on those experiences, that strength and that hope and apply it to my own life.

I got to thinking the other day: How often do I apply ``principles before personalities'' outside the rooms of recovery? I try to do so, but the human predisposition to immediately size someone up and judge them as an individual often gets in the way. Whether it's a co-worker or a peer or someone I meet on the street, within a few minutes of talking to them I've formed an opinion about them, and sometimes that opinion prevents me from really listening to what they have to say.

I can take what I've learned in recovery and apply it to my everyday life; in fact, that's the whole reason I'm in recovery. If I'm not practicing what I've learned in the rooms when I leave them and engage in the ``real world,'' then I'm not doing myself any good by attending.

Putting principles before personalities allows me to learn from everyone. We all have a set of experiences that are unique to us as individuals, and we all have something we can teach another person.

By putting principles before personalities, I can open my mind to new ways of looking at things and new ways of doing things. I can better myself and make my life more manageable by setting aside my opinions and recognizing individuals in and outside of recovery for who they are -- people no better or worse than I, who are trying to get through each day with some peace of mind.

Wishing you All Peace of Mind

Josey