The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
Had a good morning today with my a. That hasn’t happened for a while. I think one of the contributing factors was my effort to hold my peace, guard my heart, or protect my serenity. (However you want to say it.)
I’m learning about internal boundaries – emotional boundaries. I’m finding that I sometimes lack the ability to hold my peace or serenity because I don’t understand these boundary issues. Today I practiced not always trying to get my point across and making him see or understand my point of view. I guess I asked the question, how important is it. Throughout the morning when I would feel myself getting upset about something, I would remind myself about internal boundaries. I don’t know if this makes sense to anyone, but I often feel my emotional energy darting all over the place. Like my gut feelings are just running amuck. Maybe this is what people are referring to when they say that we tend to react rather than act. Today when that happened I made the effort to regain the peace and choose to act.
So, one day at a time, I hope a can continue. If anyone understands or relates to the the internal boundary issue, please send your reply.
By the way, this is not my 1st post. Due to my perfectionist tendencies and my protected nature, I had to change my login ID. Promise, one day I will learn to just be me.
I like the way you describe it: guarding your peace and serenity. I too am learning about boundaries - internal and external. I spent the day with my sober AH. I just marvel at the things he comes up with. And I jump in there hook, line and sinker. I react to everything my AH says but at least I am becoming aware of it. I don't have emotional strength so I get wounded all the time especially at work. But I am gaining a new sense of myself and the boundary work I need to do. I use to ask my AH to set a boundary so he wouldn't hurt me. How immature is that?
So join us at MIP! Maybe it isn't about perfectionism to keep the same name here but about boundaries. I use to post in a reply asking for help. It took a long time for me to start a new topic and just lay it on the line.
I have been working on emotional boundaries. I been reading alot of pages on reacting. My exhusband is the alcoholic. I just got done reacting instead of action or no actiion. So he got what he wanted. One of the pages in the readings I read says instead of reacting act the way that would most make you feel good. That really helped me when I read that page.
