Practice the PAUSE...Pause before judging. Pause before assuming. Pause before accusing. Pause whenever you are about to react harshly and you will avoid doing and saying things you will later regret. ~~~~ Lori Deschene

Skorpi · ~*Service Worker*~

Today's Hope June 2

Debb · ~*Service Worker*~

Thank you Skorpi for today's reading, your service and ESH.

I can vividly remember going through a divorce (1st marriage) from a man who was diagnosed with

an anxiety disorder and was a former alcoholic. He dragged out the divorce for 3 1/2 years, tried to

take everything away from me, the children, the house and my car. He essentially wanted me out on

the street, because I filed for the divorce. Little did I know that "Don't just do something, sit there,"

was the method I used because I could see that the more I engaged the more ammunition he received.

I sat back, which was so so difficult to do, mediated A LOT and let him dig he own sick grave and he

did. The judge who decided the divorce was so disgusted with him that he gave me the whole house,

and no visitation. Of course I had child support till each child was 18, but I declined alimony and any

rights to his pension. I just wanted out of the madness!! It does work when you work it!!

JerryF · ~*Service Worker*~

Mahalo Skorpi, Thanks for the share which fortifies ESH that the program has given me over the years.

In the past I was a reactor...not a neuclear one just a one and needless to say viewing my past the outcomes were often negative or very negative. I contributed heat to the fires and that was habit.

One of my blessings was my former sponsorship past to present. I got a slogan from my now deceased sponsor Don.T which served me and my victims very well. "When in doubt? Don.T" Think...Listen...Learn...Practice, Practice, Practice" One of the things I learned and am still learning is that there are so many others in our fellowship/program who have the Experiences, Strengths and Hopes which also need to be expressed and considered including my own and that HP doesn't make junk.

Thanks for your service...((((hugs)))) wink biggrin

Lyne · ~*Service Worker*~

Thanks Skorpi for your service and for the above ESH. I never heard this slogan, much to my surprise, but I am aware of the concepts think, pause, let go and let God, etc. In my younger years it was agony to not act and resolve situations right away. With my son and my A, its been 4 years of no contact, but we may be moving in a better direction. I can see I have developed a good deal of restraint and patience from program. To remind myself to breathe helps me too. :)

Iamhere · ~*Service Worker*~

Thank you Skorpi for your service and the daily. Thank you all for your shares and ESH. I have been a reactive person most of my life. Sometimes way over board, sometimes not so bad. Yet, pausing long enough to determine what's really going on (my emotions had the lead for years), how best can I add value or be a part of the solution and then choosing a healthy response in my goal now.

Thank goodness we're all about progress and not perfection. I do make mistakes and always will. What I am grateful for today is I accept the progress in this program as divinely inspired and not 'mine'...I am a better version of me because I've got more faith in a power greater than me today and am willing to trust in the unknown and unseen.

In conversation with a sponsee last night, we were talking about the grace and calm of my sponsor. My sponsee is in her 40's, I'm in my 50's and my sponsor is in her 70's. We discussed our view of ourselves today vs. 10 years ago and determined were certainly were calmer/improved. We both got excited with hope that when we practice doing this recovery program, one day at a time, as best we can, we are hopeful that the calm we witness in my sponsor will be attainable for us too.

I am not one to sit still for too long. I'm one that has a mind that when idle for too long can magnify all kinds of things and begin projecting vs. being present. There's no proper interval or proper way to connect with my HP and my feelings, it's in the willingness and humility I find my patience, strength and courage.

Make it a great day all. I'm golfing this afternoon and then picking up curbside groceries. I am fully vaccinated and willing to do my own shopping but have truly grown to enjoy the curbside process! I also enjoy those who work at my store enough to keep coming back - they do a fantastic job. Grateful for so many new lessons from this pandemic. As a former retail enthusiast, who knew how much I'd enjoy not strolling through the store and allowing others to do so instead? (((Hugs)))

SunnyFrogs · Senior Member

Hello everyone.

Omg I am so grateful for this today. It's exactly what I needed.

I am in a situation right now where there's going to be consequences involved,for others though,not me really. My first instinct was to warn the people involved,AH being one of them. I am so glad I came here and started reading instead.

I don't need to do anything. I don't need to react at all. It's not something I can change or prevent the outcome anyway.

I don't even know all the facts tbh but just knowing it involves the loss of money stresses me out. It makes me feel so uncomfortable and full of anxiety. But I'm just gonna find a way to sit with these feelings and ride this one out.

I said I was "in a situation right now" but,this isn't even my situation at all. It's not even any of my business really.

Grateful to be a member here.

Maresie888 · ~*Service Worker*~

When I was leaving the qualifier I certainly had to learn to be patient. Furthermore I had to learn to trust in the process

Right now I am having to trust in another process to move to another level. The issue being that everything has to align for me to work through this next phase

I have accomplished a great deal. I have more to accomplish

Moreover I am now moving to deal with certain issues that have always been difficult for me

Patience is not my forte. I have to practice it every day

One great thing that has come out of this year is my ficus on having complex PTSD

Complex PTSD is becoming more treatable

This is a very different journey from when I first addressed PTSD

I am even getting to see that stress hormones play a huge part in my health issues. Last year I had the misfortune to stay with an active alcoholic. My.stress hormones were maxed out. Couple that with the pandemic, having to move out of my apartment and more. The job I had at that time was incredibly difficult

So I am determined not to overload myself any more

My current job has it's own issues. Nevertheless I do not have an adequate back up job at the moment so I cannot make any changes at the moment

My to do list is long and complex. Nevertheless I do not feel overloaded as I can certainly feel on a regular basis.

Maresie

The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.

Practice the PAUSE...Pause before judging. Pause before assuming. Pause before accusing. Pause whenever you are about to react harshly and you will avoid doing and saying things you will later regret. ~~~~ Lori Deschene