The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
Todays reading is a focus on gratitude. The writer expresses gratitude for the message of hope in al-anon, for the literature, and for strong and helpful sponsors. The writer acknowledged that early in the program the feeling was more one of defeat than gratitude, and certainly there was no gratitude about alcoholism or the qualifiers who lived with this disease. Over time, through the work of recovery, the writer felt progress and that all of the aspects of his/her life (even, or maybe even especially- alcoholism) were part of flourishing and becoming the person he/she was meant to be.
I remember so keenly that feeling of defeat when I came to this site, and shortly after began work with a sponsor and attending meetings. The gentleness of the program was the only thing that kept me here at that time. You are here. Its okay. You are not alone. These quiet statements were so helpful, especially in the beginning. Understanding that this was a process for and about me, not the qualifying alcoholic, was very helpful to me as well. Working with my sponsor and naming what and who belonged on my gratitude list helped me to see that in addition to what I was recognizing as the chaos of living in alcoholism, I could also see that I was surrounded by people and situations who filled me with gratefulness and light. The words from the Thought for the Day resonate with me: I will always be grateful for the alcoholics and alcoholism in my life. It is because of this family disease, and my recovery from it, that I am who I am.
Mary thank you for your service and oh this is great about gratitude because when the financial tsunami hits me, I have been practicing as of when we first got the news gratitude gratitude gratitude for anything I could think of and gratitude for my abundance gratitude for my financial rescue gratitude gratitude because in the law of attraction they talk about how gratitude gives you more to be grateful for and that the creator of the universe heres and responds to Gratitude. Its like what goes around comes around youre putting out good energy by being grateful and so it comes back. I hope this post made sense LOL
Thank you Mary for your service and the daily. Thanks to all also for your ESH. I truly have much to be grateful for and try to keep that foremost in my life, mind, heart and days. In spite of the loss we are experiencing here, I am forcing myself to do 'me', my program, my routines, etc. It is super, super hard to do and I am having the battle between isolating with sadness vs. not doing so.
We have more details regarding how things unfolded for my BIL, and he was murdered/killed. I won't go into details as there may be charges, investigations, etc. and I would not want to jeopardize consequences for those responsible. Let's just say that I am struggling today with the loss (grief) and extreme anger simply because no part of me can 'seek to understand' taking the life of another.
I know I am not the first person who's lost a family member at the hands of another. I know I won't be the last either. This is a new experience for me and I will readily admit that I am struggling to accept what's happened. I am most grateful to have a program, tools and support to get through this in time -- I just can't imagine not having it.
I hope everyone has a great Sunday. Mine has been OK - in spite of all that I am processing, I'm not completely insane, just for today.
__________________
Practice the PAUSE...Pause before judging. Pause before assuming. Pause before accusing. Pause whenever you are about to react harshly and you will avoid doing and saying things you will later regret. ~~~~ Lori Deschene
Dear IAH I am so sorry. Oh my God! I am sending lots of positive energy and lots of love and comfort to all of you. What a horrible situation. I dont know what else to say except that my heart goes out to all of you
IAH, Sister I have a strong awareness of the presence of Higher Power; where it is and what it is doing. I have this sense when HP is with you especially when you are sharing your ESH with us and I become grateful to both HP and IAH for the blessings. I can and will use your grief to help me accept my own and for others also. Thank you soooo much and grateful for you keep coming back. (((((Hugs)))))
I am truly sorry to hear of the unexpected death of your brother in law
Homicide brings in a different level of shock, denial and intense emotions. It I'd inexplicable and truly a terrible shock bringing up intense emotions.
I urge you to seek out specialized support groups
When one of my friends inexplicably committed suicide I was in shock and denial for many years. Eventually I went to a specialized support group to be around other survivors
The experience was intense but extremely tender and healing
Recently I went to another training on grief which was immeasurably helpful.
You deserve to have specialized support avd resources. I am so very grateful for having sought then out. My grief has lessened immeasurably because I chose to attend those issues in a targeted fashion
I would normally be pretty upset about the.notion of accepting a past where I was neglected, abused abandoned and neglected
Lately I have been at a point where I can accept everything. That is accept having towork so hard have three jobs and counting and contend with many physical problems.
Indeed I spent much of my life railing against my fate
Getting to a place of acceptance is indeed a very radical act. However I have been able to do it. In fact when issues arise the faster I can accept it the smoother it goes
I am shocked that Inam able to enter into the place of being accepting. I had never imagined that would be a possibility
-- Edited by Maresie888 on Monday 31st of May 2021 01:47:00 PM
Thanks Mary, Debb and Mama... 
So sorry to hear that IAm. What can I say?