The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
Todays reading is about the gentleness of al-anon. The writer describes a situation in which he/she was told after a meeting that he/she was speaking so quietly the words were inaudible. The writer considered what this message from the two people who mentioned this at the meeting was supposed to mean. There was reflection about an alcoholic upbringing in which the writer never felt heard. Over time, the writer learned to simply not speak, eventually believing that he/she had nothing worthwhile to say. In the program the writer never felt pressured to speak, and in that gentleness, also felt that the option to share was always there. The writer understood that in order to speak, he/she had to believe there was something worth saying. The gentleness of the program and the two people who mentioned the quiet voice helped the writer find a voice.
This reading makes me appreciate my first few months of attending meetings. Like the writer, I felt it was impossible to speak. Although the gentleness of the program was felt immediately, I also felt overwhelmed. There was never pressure to speak, instead I felt only acceptance. Over some time, just sitting, listening, acceptingI started to feel comfortable enough to share some words. I also began to realize that while of course we all have individual situations, there was also a familiarity among usa recognition that we understood one another. One of the phrases from this program that initially brought (and still brings) comfort to me is you are not alone.
I would like to add here that before I was ready to go to face to face meetings, I found this online resource (MIP) which was a life saver. I was encouraged to attend face to face meetings but again, no pressure. I am grateful for all of it, and you!
Good Morning Mary. Thank you for your service and reminding me I am no longer alone. A program friend sent me this "There are some people who could hear you speak a thousand words and still not understand you. And there are others who will understand without you even saying a word." Thank you MIP friends...my hope/faith/joy has multiplied. Have a fantastic day.
Thank you Mary for your service and the daily. Thank you all for your ESH & shares. Happy Sunday MIP! I had no issue speaking when I arrived, yet my message was a barrage of extreme denial and blame throwing. I have no doubt that I am/was not unique yet I have to own a large amount of crazy. Simply because others understood, I felt this need to vomit so, so much - I am certain there was no doubt of the insanity brought to my mind by this disease in those I love.
I learned quickly that I could always share, others would try to understand and nobody could stifle me, my voice and/or my views. This allowed me to breathe deep and instead of practicing insanely sharing all that bothered me about other people, places and things, I could instead just breathe and listen. Embracing the gentleness of this program was a bit hard for me simply because there is extreme urgency on the other side to help others get clean/sober (vs. death, jail, asylum). It took me time to learn how to just listen, seek to understand, pause and then share openly and honestly while staying focused on the topic at hand vs. 'my wants' or chaos.
In spite of how I arrived, others were truly authentic, kind, patient, tolerant, gentle and loving. In spite of what I shared and all the chaos/drama I brought along, the same. The gentleness of this program, shown to me by others, has helped me be a better version of me, every day, one day at a time!
I am off to golf today - it will be wet, muddy and a challenge yet still hanging out in nature a/k/a God's country! Make it a great day all - find and keep your joy!!
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Practice the PAUSE...Pause before judging. Pause before assuming. Pause before accusing. Pause whenever you are about to react harshly and you will avoid doing and saying things you will later regret. ~~~~ Lori Deschene
Thank you Mary for your service and I particularly love the Daily today! I am always thankful that this is a gentle program... b/c I am an imperfect person who strives for perfection... so I can be frequently disappointed in myself!
I am grateful for everyone's shares, as they point out I am not alone... probably ever!
I am truly loving this quote, Daffodils - "There are some people who could hear you speak a thousand words and still not understand you. And there are others who will understand without you even saying a word." I believe that is the mantle a true "Life-Friend" wears... they understand and accept you, even without words. To have a "Life-Friend" is truly one of HP's blessings!
Well, I managed to bathe my two cats without a scratch! LOL! It is a very sunny day here today... time to go water the garden and harvest some blueberries, blackberries, and tomatoes! There won't be much, but I am full of Gratitude and thank my HP for giving me this day!
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"The wolf that thrives, is the one you feed." - Cherokee legend
"Hello, sun in my face. Hello you who made the morning and spread it over the fields... Watch, now, how I start the day in happiness, in kindness." Mary Oliver
Mary thank you for your service and your share. With me, I felt that I didnt have anything to contribute though I tried anyway, I never hoped or expected any support would come my way and I was shocked to see how much love and support I got through the program and how many people could relate to me. What a nice shock! To be validated to be believed--to be accepted. I owe everything to the program. It is my life 101
I have come back to this reading. It is Wednesday now. I am overcome, Mary with your share, bringing tears to my eyes- just to the rim- a gentle emotion, and healing...
...going to my f2f tomorrow evening. Maybe another member, but possibly a newcomer- who knows? Two members being out of town.
But Mip has become my home group. To a greater or lesser extent we all know the hearts and minds of each other. Doing this was gradual... as bonds of trust were formed. ... And yes, we find that we are not alone.
& 
I have come back to this reading. It is Wednesday now. I am overcome, Mary with your share, bringing tears to my eyes- just to the rim- a gentle emotion, and healing...