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Today's reading in Courage to Change talks about the quietness of heart that comes from taking the Seventh Step, "Humbly asked him to remove our shortcomings." Humbly means calmly. It is not groveling, and it is not trying to impress. Humility is not humiliating. It is doing my part, and trusting a Higher Power to do their part in taking care of the rest. It is a partnership with a Higher Power. This reading has a great affirmation, "Although I may not know how my help will come, I can remain serene."
Today's reminder: Today, when I ask a Higher Power to remove my shortcomings, I will try to do so with a peaceful heart.
Quote from Alcoholism, the Family Disease: "Humility will help us see ourselves in true perspective and keep our minds open to the truth."
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It makes me feel serenity just to read this page. It reminds me that this program is about lifting me up, not putting me down. And doing it in a balanced way, not putting me above or below anyone else.
In one of my meetings, a member shared that to be humble means to be teachable. I like that definition. When I ask for my shortcomings to be removed, I think it means I am open to learning how to do things differently. I will have to learn something. Learning might involve someone teaching me, but it also requires my being open to change. It is a partnership with my sponsor and with other aspects of my higher power. Humility is not something to be afraid of. It does not diminish me.
Good Morning Freetime. Thank you for your enlightening daily and ESH. Humility was recently discussed, and as you articulated, partnering with a sponsor and Higher Power helped to overcome fear.
As I work on Step 4. I am learning to accept my good qualities and recognizing my limitations. And in the spirit of Let Go and Let God, accepting the same in others. When I hear shares on gratitude, asking for help, or people seeking FEEDBACK (that's a tough one for me), I am more open to change. I can see how distorted my perceptions are and it is humbling. Anyways, thanks for the spiritual food-it is the breakfast of champions!(smile). Grateful to have you in my path.
Thank you Freetime for your share. Step 7.is indeed difficult because ny shortcomings are certainly fairly well polished
However I can see how many of them have caused me serious issues
I am about to run out on a series of errands because of course procrastination is certainly a very big shortcoming
I can of course concentrate on other oeoples shortcomings
Every week I am reminded of how much I depend in others. Navigating the world is a really big trial. I have not been tar adept at navigating the world. I believe that is one reason I tolerated alcoholics we were in the same boat
Now I want a different life I am willing to.do the work to find s way to live differently. The irony is that when I came to this program my ficus was in getting the qualifier to change .
Many years later it is I who have changed. The qualifier did not change one bit.
Maresie
-- Edited by Maresie888 on Friday 21st of May 2021 07:18:02 AM
Thanks FT for your service and for all the great ESH above. Humility and its definition in C2C = quietness of heart and it's something that Betty spoke to me about on several occasions. I also find this concept comforting and uplifting. No one and no part of program is here to clobber me over the head. I like that. I grew up with humiliation and learned to expect that. Program has helped me change in many positive ways. Grateful member.
Thank you Freetime for your service, and to all whom have shared their wisdom on this subject!
My first go 'round with the 7th Step ( a long time ago) was pretty cursory... I wasn't the one with the problem, and hadn't I tried my very best to be "the perfect spouse?" Being humble has always been important to me ( in all things). When C2C speaks of "not groveling, and not trying to impress," I understand that. When I see this in others in the wide world, I know that they are not coming from a place of true humility and take what they say with a grain of salt.
When I went through Step 7 (2 more times- each time learning more), I began to really look at humility with true introspection... isn't trying to be the "perfect" anything a form of Ego and thus, not exhibiting humility? My HP gently told me "Yes, PNP... you are getting it!" This realization allowed me to embrace my faults (knowing that I am human and imperfect), and to begin not beating myself up for these faults. I could seek enlightenment on how to change them, or mold them back into the good qualities they used to be. I became more humble. And in doing so, I am more accepting of others... always a good thing!
I am still learning how to give 100% (in anything I do), yet remember that I am fallible... to stay humble.
I try to stay TEACHABLE, and OPEN to other possibilities.
It's Finally Friday Folks!! Hooray!! Kind of a long week for me - dealing with neck pain, working, some health issues with my mom - I am happy that I can let my hair down tonight, and begin my 2 days off!! Grateful to be here and to have everyone's support!
&
__________________
"The wolf that thrives, is the one you feed." - Cherokee legend
"Hello, sun in my face. Hello you who made the morning and spread it over the fields... Watch, now, how I start the day in happiness, in kindness." Mary Oliver
Mahalo Freetime and HP for this mornings offering. Humility is a powerful learning for me and I am able to remember lessons from the program and especially my sponsor about the subject who wanted me to learn and practice without delay. The lessons came to be practiced as "be teachable" which was a desire of my sponsor so that I would stop fooling around with so many definitions and not arriving at something that would work for me.
The suggestion "be teachable" was clear as it brought up home teaching, school, military and such as to how I could and would follow thru and that still works as the simplest process to getting humble and learning without objection and fight. Using Courage to Change as a process for humility the greatest effort came with me following thru on the suggestions and lessons of the elders and program.
Happy Friday MIP! Thank you Freetime for your service and the daily. Thanks to all for your ESH & shares. PnP - I am also having some neck pain ... and it's very distracting. I thought on day one that I had slept funny because it felt kind of like a stiff neck. It's been a come/go kind of thing but still distracting. This ties in well with humility for me because it took recovery for me to figure out that when my body is 'speaking', I need to listen. I've only golfed once this week, primarily because we've had a rain storm system stalled overhead for 10 days yet I also declined today just to rest. Between my neck and donating blood yesterday, I'm a bit dizzy - I'm barely above anemia normally, so add in regular blood donations and it's a battle to keep my iron up...
I've always really, really embraced humility = stay/be teachable. I arrived equating humility with humiliation and felt both were a sign of weakness. One of many faulty definitions in my world that has changed as I've changed. As one who can complicate any/everything, this simple definition works really well for me. For Step 7, for me, this suggests that I keep nurturing that relationship/trust I've been working on with the God of my understanding and just be ready to be taught different through change.
I'm one who aligns my recovery, my growth and my AfI (Areas for Improvement) all into my morning prayers. Patience is something I will be aware of my entire life and it does not come naturally for me. Yet, when I am spiritually fit, I can consciously practice it with decent results. I have become 'safe' according to CDC guidelines, 2 weeks out from my 2nd shot yesterday. I have opted to go out and about (masked to protect kids not yet eligible for vaccine) just to practice acceptance and patience. So far, so good -- I can't imagine how I would (or would not) have dealt with this pandemic and all it brought to this world without recovery.
There was only a handful of folks in 2 stops that were without masks. I truly wanted to distance myself and had to pause to remember that I should be safe; they might not be. Learning how to be out and about after a year of not requires practice for me, simply because I want to keep my serenity, respond to the world, spread some joy and not react when I feel fear or anxiety.
Make it a great day all - I'm considering a nap this afternoon just because I can! (((Hugs)))
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Practice the PAUSE...Pause before judging. Pause before assuming. Pause before accusing. Pause whenever you are about to react harshly and you will avoid doing and saying things you will later regret. ~~~~ Lori Deschene
Freetime. I had nothing much to add this reading and share. I juggled the word humility around a bit and came up with humus.
In the ground humus retains moisture and slow releases nutrients. I did this with some plants this afternoon. pUt them in pots with humus. I always need balance in my life- and a balanced soil profile is a good metaphor for me.
Being the "green witch" that I am in the garden, I LOVE that metaphor David! Thank you!
Have a blessed day!
&
__________________
"The wolf that thrives, is the one you feed." - Cherokee legend
"Hello, sun in my face. Hello you who made the morning and spread it over the fields... Watch, now, how I start the day in happiness, in kindness." Mary Oliver
Thank you Freetime for this oh so lovely reminder.
Humility is not humiliation but I did not know that until I got deeper into the program. To me they were one in the same back then and so it was hard for me to be humble because it meant that I would be put down and shamed and all of that and boy was I wrong because the more humble I am about who I am and yes the dysfunctional parts of me, the more I realize I am just a good human being that just got severely injured and who is more than willing to do step seven where I humbly ask my higher power add tell him my willingness to give up these traits that do not serve me.
Right now I it is a struggle to fight off the fear and depression of this horrible change in my finances that is coming up and I do not know how or when my help will come but I just tell myself that HP has got this and he is not going to let me down so I do my gratitude list whether I see the prayer even remotely be an answered or not. All these gestures from people, kind and generous acts towards me shows me that HP is on The job and therefore I can manage the fear and love depression that tries to crawl into my spirit
And I love what you said about the program lifts you up and not put you down. I could not say it better I am not better than anyone and I am not worse than anyone. I am just a fellow traveler an equal to my others. At first I felt inferior because I had so many injuries but now I dont feel that way because where I am progressing in some things and struggling with others, I see that my fellow travelers have the same thing where they are stronger in some areas and having trouble with the others. I am open and willing for positive change in me
What a perfect metaphor that we grow out of the #compost# of the past.
Most certainly for me I have had to come to some understanding of the alcoholic/addict
Humbly means that I admit I do not know it all. Of course I made significant effort in that regard. I am so much more knowledgeable than I was a year ago
I am also so much more knowledgeable about adult behavior related to self regulation. Keep in mind I grew up in a house where there was no.such thing as calm
My.parents used every addiction to.manage their emotions.
On the weekend I was around people drinking heavily. Obviously when I am short of funds (which I am) I have to work more because I am 100,% self reliant
When i.encounter a lack of funds it is entirely up to me to remedy the situation. I count on no side.
I know counting on others, hoping on others or simply doing nothing will not change my situation.
Now of course after much more work on myself I am also 100% self regulated. I rely on no one to make me feel better. I am 100% responsible for how my life is today. I relish that opportunity.
Being around people who.were really inebriated was not that unpleasant. It was not that interesting either
In the past I had some kind of interest in it. I avtialkynused to believe people were having a good time. It didn't look that much like a good time to me
I know for me that I was chronically dysregulated until I really began to grasp the nature of complex PTSD. I have come a long way in understanding how that dysregulation manifested itself. In short I had much in common with the alcoholic I did not know how to control my emotions either
These days even in the face of provocation I remain calm. Calm is the face I operate
The other night I ceetainly remained calm because being around inebriated people was a trigger for me. Now it isn'
In reality since I did not want to be there I would have been resentful because I had a lot of issues to contend with that night. Instead I sailed through them
At one time I believed my recovery would be about not having problems. Now I feel it is about being able to deal with those problems without being dysregulated.
For some people they don't even know they are dysregulated because being that way somehow works for the. Being manipulative is all they know and all they want to know.
I certainly cried and raged plenty. At no time on any occasion did any of my feelings matter to the qualifier. My feelings did not muster even an acknowledgement from the qualifier
Now my feelings matter to me avd I am the one who is entirely responsible for regulating them at all times.
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Freetime. I had nothing much to add this reading and share. I juggled the word humility around a bit and came up with humus.
