The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
Happy Saturday MIP. I've got about 15 guys on top of my roof pounding and working -- did not even realize it was Saturday. Perfect reading for how my day is unfolding - our slogan 'Easy Does It'.
The quote from "Youth and the Alcoholic Parent": "Easy does it . . . Think about it when you're in a hurry to do something and everything seems to go wrong . . . You'll be surprised how much this one little idea can do for you."
The reminder: If my plans hit a snag today, I will step back for a moment and take a calm look at the situation before moving ahead.
For many of us, when something isn't working the way we think it should, we redouble our efforts as a first inclination. Easy Does It reminds us to instead slow down and reassess the situation. The answers we seek or need may be staring in our face; we have to let go of what we're doing before we can see it.
We learn in and through practicing recovery to step back, reassess and then proceed forward. Easy Does It is just one tool helping us do this.
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There are so many slogans that give me cause for pause and an opportunity to regroup. There is still a part of me that tends to want to fall back on old habits when first faced with adversities. It's an almost auto response to discomfort. You all know me well enough that I have Pause, Pray before Proceeding filed closed to the front of my brain. Right close by is Keep it Simple and Easy Does It.
I am grateful and will remain so that this program has given me a chance to practice responding instead of reacting when I use our tools. Time and time again, life throws curve balls and now I have tools to help me do, be, act better/different.
I am enduring pounding until about 1pm, and then off to golf. I'm grateful for a warmer day with plenty of sunshine. I am so ready for quiet time on the course that I don't even mind if I golf poorly! Make it a great day MIP - find and keep your joy!!
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Practice the PAUSE...Pause before judging. Pause before assuming. Pause before accusing. Pause whenever you are about to react harshly and you will avoid doing and saying things you will later regret. ~~~~ Lori Deschene
Iamhere - Thank you so much for your service! I hope you enjoy the sunny day on the links!
I am one who when hit with a snag, will redouble my efforts. Honestly, it usually works. But not for people related things LOL! I like the thought of Easy Does It. And it is very true, that if you can step back for a moment, pause, and reassess, the solution usually comes to you! Amazing!
In my part of the world, we are on day 3 of lower than normal temps... after a couple days of higher than normal temps!!! I remind myself that I was just bemoaning the fact that I wasn't ready for summer-like weather yet... so Mother Nature heard my call and answered! LOL! So I will not complain about these foggy/rainy/cool days. Just one more chance to wear my favorite sweatshirts!
I am off to shore up my planter box that I installed last week. The free box was not made well, and it needs some reinforcement. Of course, any excuse to dabble in the garden/nature for me!
That is my JOY... hope you all chase and catch your's this weekend!
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"The wolf that thrives, is the one you feed." - Cherokee legend
"Hello, sun in my face. Hello you who made the morning and spread it over the fields... Watch, now, how I start the day in happiness, in kindness." Mary Oliver
Wishing you a fab day on the course; thank you for the service. I would have to add Wolfies addendum to the slogan for myself personally..... easy does It, but do it. I tend to pause then freeze. Working on it.
Dear IAH, thank you for your service and oh boy great post! I was having trouble downloading videos from all my computers on this one video sharing site that I have friends on and we share videos like theyll download some of my stuff and Ill download some of theirs and all of a sudden I could not download anything on my iTube studio which is supposed to be user-friendly with the site and I thought this thing and fight this thing for like three days and I just became obsessed about it finally I just threw up my hands and said all use the old laptop on Windows 7 and to hell with this
Well I was on message chat on the site with a friend of mine from Australia and I told him my problem and he said oh he said get on fire fox and he directed me what to do how to get on the phone side of the application or the website I should say and now I can download videos and then he told me that something changed within the regular site and he had to diddle around with it and he discovered if you click on the phone version of it and youre on your desktop, you can download and I am telling you I feel like I have been freed from just my own obsession and I just could not stand being defeated, I was bound and determined to win this war no matter what cost to my serenity I mean I really--worked my program--NOT! So I finally had to when I threw up my hands and said I give up. The answer came to me in the form of a friend I never would have figured that out. There is no way I wouldve ever come up with that. So yeah I have been really practicing easy does it and oh what I wouldnt give to be able, when experiencing resistance, to just back off and breathe , I dont know why I cannot just back off and breathe
Its like I have to win every battle or I feel like a victim so Ive been doing journaling and self talk to try to help myself have a better perception in that I am not going to win every challenge and there are times I am going to have to walk away and just let it go and sometimes I can do it but I need a whole lot of work in this area, thank you for your service
Thanks IAH for your service and for all above ESH. I love this slogan, Easy Does It. This morning I got the chance to practice. My A left a gift card in the waste basket right at the top for anyone to see, signed love from her alcoholic friends that she swears she has no contact with. I do have some anxiety because I have trauma left behind from her heavy drinking and driving days with them, but I had a very calm talk with myself. I am not going to react with anger and fighting. She is an untreated alcoholic, probably still drinking when Im at my condo, still having a relationship with unhelpful people, and still unable to be truthful. By staying in this marriage (gulp) all I can do is control myself and have acceptance and compassion for the things I cannot control. It appeared things were getting better, but oh well. I plan to have the best life I can, with the circumstances I have, using Easy Does It ODAT.
I was with a friend the other day with a new neighbor. The new neighbor is obnoxious and tyrannical.
I left. My friend stayed talking to him for a few hours. I could see them out of the window. Normally I would be consumed with a need to rescue them. Now I just observe. It says much about your life when you have no boundaries
Then when I was coming home from work I net someone who I knew several years ago casually. He asked me if I had seen someone who I was once really codependent with. Normally I would see that as a sign I should go and check on her. I said No and kept on going. The number of times I have gone after work to check on her. No more checking on other. No more feeling responsible for others
It is a phenomenal job to have acquired boundaries
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