The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
Today's reading is about tradition 4, and how each group is autonomous. This means that each group can conduct meetings in a way that works for the members of that group, as long as it abides by the traditions and doesn't harm the unity of Al-Anon. Some groups follow the suggested meeting format, and others follow a modified meeting format. The author suggests that it isn't their place to worry about how another group conducts its meetings, because how can they know that their way is THE right way? When visiting other meetings with an open mind, the author has found that the principles of Al-Anon remain exactly the same. Each member of Al-Anon plays an essential role in helping us recover from the effects of Alcoholism. The diversity of members can only bring strength to the groups.
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I'm reminded by today's post of part of my home group's Newcomer welcome. My group explicitly says that each group has its own flavor and feel, and encourages new members to visit several groups so that they can find the group feel that fits them best. One of the things I like most about Al-Anon is that it doesn't force members into an ill-fitting program - Al-Anon encourages members to take what they like and leave the rest, really making the program their own, customized to their own needs, selecting the tools that work best for them. The make-up and structure of the groups is the same - each group is able to define what works best for that group, as long as the principles and traditions are followed. I think that this is an important way that Al-Anon makes itself most helpful - welcoming all, offering a framework, and letting the individual process progress at its own pace.
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Skorpi
If you are depressed, you are living in the past. If you are anxious, you are living in the future. If you are at peace, you are living in the present. - Lao Tzu
Thanks Skorpi for your service. Besides for Tradition 4 having boundaries for preserving the core and essence of alanon, it is great that each meeting has the option to run their meeting the way they want. For example, in my F2F, each member has the option to read one of the steps, and we have continued that on zoom. A few weeks ago I went to a new meeting as they were celebrating the birthday month of Lois and alanon in general (our program is 70 years old), the gentleman who led that particular meeting read all the steps himself. Tradition 4 also reminds us that although we should not to force our will on others, we can choose to do whats best for ourselves. An example of a slogan was given in How Alanon Works:. Live and let live. :)
Good morning, Skorpi and Lyne - thank you for your service and shares. I just love the tradition of group autonomy, and the flexibility within boundaries that protect our program. A few thoughts come to mind on this topic.
Sometimes when a group is trying to make a decision about some procedure, often someone asks "what does the WSO say, what's the rule about this?" -- and I see a parallel to my own looking outside myself for answers, when often the answer is that the group (or I) is free to make its own decision. And when someone deviates from the meeting script -- for example, some people will not use the gendered pronoun for God when reading the 12 Steps, even though that's how it is written (and I totally understand this feeling), I can ask myself, "how important is it?"
A good thing I find about attending other meetings is that, when they do their readings in a different way than I am used to, I might hear it more clearly because it's different. With the exact same readings all the time, it can become "bla bla bla" that I don't really hear. Although it can be very comforting, when life is in crisis, that at least my meeting will follow a predictable and trustworthy format. Sameness and difference can both be useful.
Autonomy without becoming isolated -- a very interesting tightrope walk, but that's what keeps things challenging and interesting.
-- Edited by Freetime on Wednesday 21st of April 2021 10:07:26 AM
Thank you Skorpi for your service and the daily. Thank you both for your shares & ESH. I've long been most comfortable in my routines, and that carries over in most areas of my life...I can recall a day I went to a different meeting and they had a different way and my first inclination was anxiety/panic. It took some practice for me to realize that different doesn't change the desired outcome - as always, I left the meeting feeling better than when I arrived.
I tend to shy away from groups that don't align with the suggested traditions as I've witnessed outside issues and egos lead to unhealthy groups. I am grateful always for those who came before me - the foresight to document what works well for long term group/personal success surely was divinely inspired!
Happy Wednesday to one and all. We've had some wacky weather this week - to even include snow...it melted quickly yet still isn't very common in springtime April. The sun is shining brightly here and all is well with my world, just for today. Make it a great one MIP!
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Practice the PAUSE...Pause before judging. Pause before assuming. Pause before accusing. Pause whenever you are about to react harshly and you will avoid doing and saying things you will later regret. ~~~~ Lori Deschene
In the rural outreaches where I live there is only one group. There are no choices. I used to get a bit stressed about this.
In my foundation group we would all move to Step One if we had a newcomer. Also the chairing of the group was changed every week. Of someone wanted to alter the format a bit- they could. And if the change caught on, or worked, it could be carried on by other people.
I am attending a F2F meeting at the moment. I highly respect the group conscience that existed when i arrived. It was based on good ESH anyway- so it fitted. The chairing is passed around.
In this neck of the woods the groups are small. A newcomer will be encouraged chair a meeting when they are willing and able. ...
Skorpi. Thank you for your service and as IAH. Sad, I tend to back off from any group that does not embrace the traditions or if they are not steady with the steps and slogans all the things that have for decades, worked, I think the traditions and the steps and the protocols are in place for a reason its true that flexibility is also good but I think staying in alignment with these things are the best thing to do. Ive been to so-called 12-step oriented groups were the traditions were not observed and step work was not a priority and I just quietly left. Thanks for the post
I live in an area rich in recovery. That was one good thing that came out of a geographic I did. Therefore new formats specialized groups and different ideas are fine with me. I have not had the opportunity to explore all the virtual opportunities.
Specialized groups and different formats have been very critical to my recovery. I am able to tolerate the uncomfortable part of change. My #window of tolerance# has expanded tremendously in the past year.
For some of us change, stress and taking opportunities have resulted in growth. I am so grateful for that very real opportunity. Doing a geographic was a rash desperate act that resulted in tremendous opportunities
Thanks Skorpi, and y'all. 