The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
...usually round this time of year my eyes smart up a fair bit. Not so much for those killed and wounded in war- people I did not really know personally. But for two veteran uncles who committed suicide. Whom I had gotten to know well. Because i am fronting up this year- I needed to put this to one side, just for now.
Having family members who died prematurely is a big issue to look.at. One.of my desrnfriends committed suicide. I think of him.every day. I know coming to terms with his death is very difficult. I have also had friends and former boyfriends die prematurely. Substance abuse was.indeed a very big issue. I have the space in my life to be a leader to absorb those losses.
Grief is indeed part of looking at substance abuse.issues. When I was.more involved in 12 step programs every month there was news of more.premature deaths. There was always shock disbelief and anger.
Your brother's untimely demise is also.a.very real.issue. Having someone die in that fashion is certainly upsetting.
I know I have.known numerous persons.who died on the street. That is certainly tragic.
I know you know your welfare and serenity is in the hands of many. We are all rooting for you and.sending you love and understanding and care at this difficult time.
The chaplain for our memorial service is a 93 year old reverend. The flag ensign is a 10 year old boy. The purpose of this ceremony is to recall the fallen, and offer profound thanks for their service.
The word -service- is spoken a lot in the USA. We did not here it at all over here. But it does apply equally with Alanon as well!
The format is based on the elements of a military church parade. I understand deeply that not everyone shared the same beliefs. But at the hour of greatest need there was someone actually there grasping their hand.
At most meetings over here members hold hands at the end of the meeting. A bond and a reminder of our policy of anonymity.....and our equalness... no matter who we are!
I can only imagine what other people think and feel in the depths of their hearts.
But in the rooms- whatever the group- we begin to get hints- that we are not alone.
I happen to believe that this is the core ingredient- that sparked the whole 12 Step movement, from day one.
As I talked with that old lady I had to bolt back my tears a bit- talking about the impact of war on people's lives.
And sheeting this home to my own experience. I think I am a softy. So glad to know this is true!
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