Al-Anon Family Group

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Post Info TOPIC: Our slogan- think...

~*Service Worker*~

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Posts: 2680
Our slogan- think...


 aww I scorned the slogan for some years- because they were too folksy and simplistic.

     There seemed to be a stable of 16 of them- and woe betide anyone who uttered one that was not conference approved.

     However many of the things we remember and repeat do appear, also in our literature. 

    In this groups we read regularly from all three of our readers- and it is amazing to see where our ideas have arisen from.

    But -Think- is a doozy, through and through.

    I use concepts like these in my Step 11's these days. Because they are so familiar and their meaning resonates deeply.

    I lost my mojo at about age 8 or 9. When my dad told me that he wanted to kill himself. We lived on an orchard and he

told me this while we were in the spray shed. So I imagined finding him there, having swallowed poison.

I have heard people share- who have witnessed a suicide. Who have witness attempts. Who have been raped and beaten- sometimes for many years.

I always haul up beside people like this. I always try and practise the "no crosstalk" guideline. And- when it comes to personal space- and body language the same applies.

But I always believe that we must listen and acknowledge each other.

Besides that incident I suffered from prolonged neglect for some seasons of may life.

I recognise this as abandonment.

I have not forgotten but i have learned to forgive the world that would let this happen. 

Let anything happen that makes people's lives a misery. A life worse than death.

I got very angry- and self righteous when I found out- or realised that five of my cousins had gone in for prostitution.

One after the other, really- and at fairly young ages.

This was a shocker- and something I did not fully understand, initially.

I was a rural kid- and very naive about the outside world, for a start.

But the "listen" message resonates with me know.

I expect my mental, emotional and spiritual worlds to be aligned these days. And they are most times.

I used to have brain fog, dissociation, numbing of the brain... ...all the same thing really.

From a young age this often manifested itself in migraine. A terrible condition.

April the First- C2C is the reading on the three "A"s... awareness, acceptance and action.

So therapy wasn't really an option in this neck of the woods.

So I got into a daughter organisation- another 12 Step group that offered me therapy.

And I did branch out and seek help from a therapist. A physiotherapist- who specialises in breathing and trauma issues.

And my suicidal thinking went away.

This was an idea, maybe that I had picked up at my father's knee.

A way out- but leaving so much unfinished business for other people to try and cope with. blankstare ...

Late last year my p-therapist had a high-profile brush with a con-man. It was all over the papers.

But she resolved this well. I missed a monthly appointment- because i wanted to have a breathing space-

where I didn't attempt to make something like that better. No way a space for me to go at all.

And I have seen her since- and successfully navigated around any impulse to interfere.

But my therapist has heaps of cred. Because she is undertaking the journey herself.

it is a part of that momentum I found in Alanon too. A sense if similarity and solidarity.

Things we relate to deeply. Wholly. 

This week i have started to tidy up the clutter in my den. It is a great relief. Phew!

Thanks for listening... smile ...

...I was a founding member of may original group. In our group conscience, if we had a newcomer come along,

the group would fall back to Step One.

I still tend to do this when I can. smile ...

aww   Thanks... aww ...






Each Alanon member is my teacher.                                                                                                                  

Senior Member

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Posts: 327

Thank you David for trusting us to share your memories and experiences.

I can see how THINK has helped you to place the focus on yourself and rightfully so!

The T stands for Thoughtful!
The H stands for Helpful! Honest!
The I stands for Intelligent!
The N stands for Necessary!
The K stands for Kind!

The slogan, Think helps me to remember to think before I act on or react to situations.
This slogan helps us make good decisions about how to act. When we apply this slogan, it
helps free us from distorted thinking and impulsive, potentially destructive decision-making.


"Forgiveness doesn't excuse bad behavior, but does prevent bad behavior from destroying your heart" ~ Unknown


~*Service Worker*~

Status: Online
Posts: 2680


 aww Betty said to me:- "Mean what you say, and say what you mean; but don't say it mean."

     I had trouble being listened to. Not confident at all. But these days I find that people do

     listen to me okay. Being confident, and being able to accept errors sometimes, was a great

     boost to me... smile



Each Alanon member is my teacher.                                                                                                                  

~*Service Worker*~

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Posts: 2134

Thank you David and thank you Debb for your great shares and yeah, THINK. That is a biggie for me because sometimes I just move my hands without any brain material behind it so I have to constantly tell me to slow down, pay attention, I think before you move your hands because every time I do something without thinking I sabotage myself

And Debb. Loved what you said about think

David thanks for sharing your memories with us I cant imagine a father telling his child that he wants to kill himself all my God. Im glad youre here work in a good program


Rose, a work in progress!!!


~*Service Worker*~

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Posts: 1028


Being validated is so essential for a child 

I dont think it is even about being listened to. It is all about attitude respect, generosity 

Some people never get to the point of being able to respect others.  People are absolute prey for them to exploit as t all costs 

I am so glad that you mentioned our dear Betty. Her presence is very much missed.  When Betty came into these rooms her presence was tangible. I know that she loved these rooms. 

Therefore it is fitting that she is referenced so often 

Thank you 






~*Service Worker*~

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Posts: 2551

David - as always, I enjoy your thoughts. Sometimes I am aghast at the childhood you lived, but I am buoyed by your progress as an adult! You are resilience personified! Thank you for mentioning Betty. She had said that same slogan to me as well!

Funny thing... when I was locked out and didn't know what to do, I was clicking everything trying to find a solution. I eventually found out that I was still logged onto the Step WorkBoard. And who's smiling face should greet me? Betty's, of course! I read her response to me (again), and felt a wave of "this is the solution" wash over me. Just post something here," my mind said. "It will be taken care of."

I'd like to think it was Betty still looking over this site.



"The wolf that thrives, is the one you feed." - Cherokee legend

"Hello, sun in my face. Hello you who made the morning and spread it over the fields... Watch, now, how I start the day in happiness, in kindness."  ~ Mary Oliver



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