The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
Happy Saturday MIP. Today's reading discusses how we need not design a master plan for our recovery. Instead, we are asked to humbly ask a power greater than ourselves for the guidance and willingness to follow that guidance just this one day. We learn to trust that we are not alone and we will receive all the help needed along our recovery path. It's suggested that after we pray for our recovery, we just let go and walk serenely in the right direction.
We don't sit by and wait but instead make choices that will help to speed up progress. We can take good care of ourselves, attend meetings, call a sponsor, do service work, relax, meditate, exercise, read literature, play, eat healthy, etc. What we find is that when we put forth the effort to do what we can each day, we get stronger.
Reminder: I can't control my recovery. I can't force myself to let go any faster, nor insist upon serenity. But I can take small actions to remind myself that I am a willing participant in this process. I have every reason to be hopeful, for each step I take is a step toward living life more fully. Today I will do something nice for myself that I haven't made time for until now.
Quote from Henry David Thoreau: "If one advances confidently in the direction of his dreams, and endeavors to live the life which he has imagined, he will meet with a success unexpected in common hours."
I am 'one of those' who arrived and felt that lists, plans, planners, objectives, measures, etc. all equated to 'success'. So, of course I am 'one of those' who wanted to do this many steps by this date, and this many meetings by this date and .................................
It was not natural for me to just sit, listen, absorb, meditate and consider my faith or trust in a HP - I had spent a ton of my life relying on self-will and self-reliance. Only because I arrived with such incredible pain and suffering did I become willing to just try suggestions, one day at a time.
I didn't even know how to relax or be gentle with myself. I thought I knew how to pray yet found that my process was more aligned with the 'foxhole' style - praying again for my will and desired outcomes. It's been a slow process of relearning many things that I practice/fall, get up and go again.
For my recovery, I do know that my days are better, calmer, more serene when I spend some amount of time each day on my recovery. It's not natural for me to put myself first or to practice self-care, but the habit has become more natural over time. It's not natural for me to pray for God's will and then to just do the next right thing peacefully watching for the next right thing. Yet again, it's become more comfortable over time.
I can commit to doing something kind or good for me today! All I feel I have is Today. When I can stay in this day, the present, I am more able to stay calm and carry on. Grateful for Al-Anon and all that it provides me....grateful for MIP too. Happy Saturday all -- I am baking cookies this morning to give to those who've been driving 'Miss Daisy' and then golfing this afternoon. Find and keep your joy!!
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Practice the PAUSE...Pause before judging. Pause before assuming. Pause before accusing. Pause whenever you are about to react harshly and you will avoid doing and saying things you will later regret. ~~~~ Lori Deschene
I used to plan meeting well in advance- even up eo what the people were going to say and do.
And how I would respond and play an active part.
Yesterday I was at an Alanon training day- in the big sitty. I was aware of areas of my work that still needed work. The head honcho of Alanon in NZ and the treasurer and one other were there. Passing on their ESH.
I am still impatient and still want to make waves. Part of me that wants to control my entire world. But, at the same time i did a fair bit of networking- and had chats with 6 or 8 people.
There was a new member there who grew up my home town. So we had a really good catch-up and chin-wag. ...
I tended to get scapegoated in my family- and also in my last big job. So I am scripted for this.
To-day I can speak up for myself, mind my own business, mostly, without getting into conflict.
I found this line in one of the daily readings, recently:- "...neither avoid not provoke a conflict."
I think the serenity prayer plays a big part here!
Letting go an letting go... [...d].
Easy peasy after years of effort- at learning to let go!
Thanks IAH for your service and for all these great shares. Going back to high school and into adult hood, I had to plan everything. It was the only way I could feel in control after the FOO experience. But when unexpected things came up it was nearly impossible to shift gears and be OK. Yikes, what a struggle life was. So unpleasant for so many years.
I didnt know how to relax nor thought I deserved it. Now everyday, I plan some metime. I already went out with my dog today. The time spent outside with her is one of my favorite things to do, and hers as well. Much of the snow has melted and we could do most of the walk we like doing.
I also used to do many things regardless of being sick or tired or having aches and pains. Now I respect my limitations and body problems and take great care not to exacerbate any issues. I believe my spouse and son sometimes see me as selfish. I do so much for them but when Im on guard to protect myself, it is not received well. Since resigning from the Doormat Club, I sometimes am walking without others approval. But thats where HP and my alanon family come inyou guys get it! Im allowed to take care of me. And I do!
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