The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
The reading for Monday, 2/8, talks about seeing cheerful, smiling people when we first enter the rooms. We are astonished, says the author, as we didnt think it possible, if those people have the same problems we do. And down the road, we could even find out their problems are worse than mine!
Reminder: What the alanon program has done for others it can do for meif I listen and absorb what I hear and use it everyday. I do not go merely for the relief of airing my own problems, but to learn from others how to deal with them.
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I remember my first F2F meeting as though it happened yesterday. I was frantic and desperate and needed advice ASAP. And there was one fellow who was just as upset as I was, but there were several calm, happy looking people. I didnt get it, but I wanted some of that. I was no longer calm or happy. I had a vague memory of what that was like. And I got no quick snapshot of how to cure what I was suffering from. But because of those I observed, I kept going back. And of course, it works when I work it. So I practice everyday, the valuable tools I am taught. And I listen to others on the board and now on zoom. If open to it, I can learn something from everyone. What a gift!
I recall the reading early in the piece- must have been the first August. I thought ahead- something I seldom did in those days.
I really details of my first meeting clearly... It was the first meeting in our town- for all of us! All in for the first 6 or 8 years- no sponsors... ...a time I appreciated.
I attended a f2f meeting last Friday. A fairly new member there, the group old timer, and myself. Did my demeanour say it all? I hope so... ...
Many of the posts here at MIP sound so hopeful and cheerful. I wish I could see faces to match what I read.
When I read shares that are similar to my own situation it gives me hope . It makes me sad to know others go through some of the same things but it gives me comfort to know I am not alone. And that even amidst the chaos there's peace and serenity to be found. And that's what keeps me coming back.
Hey MIP - happy Monday from the arctic tundra of the middle of the USA!! It's darn cold here - so, so grateful I can just hibernate inside. Thank you Lyne for your service and the daily. Thank you all for your ESH & shares. I did not want to go to Al-Anon and showed up because my sponsor suggested it (several times before I committed). I had no desire to be there, be open, consider I was part of the problem, etc. In my home and mind, the A(s) were the issue, not me!! I truly resented that my sponsor thought I needed to add another 12 step program to my journey...
So, I resisted and reluctantly attended. I did not find peace, joy or nothing - as I wasn't trying to consider what was said/shared. I did leave with a phone list and never used it. I returned to do things 'my way, using my will' and ended up truly broken, hopeless and beaten down by the disease & the diseased.
I returned to a meeting, with a different location and still wasn't sure I wanted/needed to be there. Yet, I knew I would literally break if I didn't find some help some place, so was more open. I found it perplexing that others had joy and smiles - genuine, not fake and got just enough hope from the shares to return. It took me a while to fully embrace and practice what was shared and even longer to see my part in much of the chaos, drama, insanity in my home.
I am grateful for all who came before me, willing to keep showing up and sharing. I am grateful for the many who patiently listened and shared with me when I was at my darkest and lowest moments. I keep coming back as I feel compelled to keep learning, growing and changing. Just for today, I'm a grateful member of Al-Anon who's willing and open to changing me, one day at a time. (((Hugs)))
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Practice the PAUSE...Pause before judging. Pause before assuming. Pause before accusing. Pause whenever you are about to react harshly and you will avoid doing and saying things you will later regret. ~~~~ Lori Deschene
I recall the reading early in the piece- must have been the first August. I thought ahead- something I seldom did in those days.
Thanks for your dedicated service, Lyne...