The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
The reading for Monday, 1/25, discusses exactly how to correct our faults. We just cant eliminate or will them away. The author says that bad habits must be replaced with their opposites, substituting the positive for the negative, thus the I WILL for the I WONT.
Reminder: If I am morose and discontented, I will deliberately cultivate happy thoughts. If I am prone to criticize, I will seek out what is good and pleasing and fix my mind on that. I will replace my fruitless doubts and fears with faith and confidence. If I am bored, I will learn something neweven a new way to make the same old chores more enjoyable.
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Interestingly enough, I had a chance to try this today. My A had really got me into a bad mood, which I now understand, is my responsibility. I made a mantra for the day, which I posted about Sunday morning. I decided that I would not let this mishap ruin my Sunday. I planned to have a good day and arranged a bunch of activities around me (well, and a walk with my dog). So I enjoyed a walk outside even with windchills in the 20s, I did laundry and changed linens, cleared up paper work, had a phone call with a very nice person, and took a wonderful rest to watch my favorite tv show. I dont have to get stuck in the abyss of misery when I have the power to change my attitude and activities. Oh and by the way, progress not perfection ODAT.
I so needed this! Thank you. Its back to school tomorrow for the children and I've been feeling resistant. I can reverse this mi dset and make it great by embracing it rather than resenting it. After all, its still happening!
Thank you Lyne for your service and for the daily. Thank you all for your shares & ESH. I love the idea of changing unhealthy habits by practicing opposites. It sure makes sense to my brain as well as trying to focus on what is good in a situation vs. what is not going well. All these suggestions are so contrary to how I lived before and reasonably simple to try.
What I've learned about me is my first inclination is still at times to 'go back' and react as I did for so, so long. Pausing just long enough to pray and consider options has saved me much grief, anger, amends, etc. as I practice this program. There is a part of me that wishes my first inclination was some calm, mature, spiritual response to 'life' yet I've come to accept that I am just not wired that way. Practicing this program and using our tools is the best chance I have for some rewiring and even if it doesn't happen, it is in recovery that I've learned I don't have to act upon my first thoughts (or any thought for that matter).
We have weather in our forecast for today...a good day to hibernate! That's what I'm doing - staying inside and staying warm. Make it the best day possible MIP family...(((Hugs)))
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Practice the PAUSE...Pause before judging. Pause before assuming. Pause before accusing. Pause whenever you are about to react harshly and you will avoid doing and saying things you will later regret. ~~~~ Lori Deschene
Thank you for your service Lyne.Thank you for all the shares. This is exactly what I needed today. I'm feeling anxious, grumpy, hurt, scared and overwhelmed.... but at least I didn't fall into the hole... instead, I became productive with work and my home to change the things I can. I'm working on my attitude now and counting my blessings and looking to be where my HP wants me to be.
I was in a really bad mood earlier today while running to the grocery store and was starting to nag(nag is putting it mildly) at AH for something hurtful he had said to me. I could feel all the anger and resentment start bubblling up, so much that I didn't want to go in the store with him once we got there because I felt like I hated him. I stayed in the car instead and came here and read the shares.
It helped me so much and turned things right around for me. I have been busy since we got back home and was even able to let go of what happened earlier.
