Al-Anon Family Group

The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.

Members Login
Username 
 
Password 
    Remember Me  
Post Info TOPIC: Welcome 2021 - The Daily Jan 2


~*Service Worker*~

Status: Offline
Posts: 2495
Date:
Welcome 2021 - The Daily Jan 2


                                                                                         WELCOME  2021!  

                                         We have been anxiously awaiting your arrival. Be gentle with us... it's been a long, tough year. 

Today's reading is from The Language of Letting Go by Melody Beattie, and is a bout Healthy Limits.

"Boundaries are vital to recovery. Having and setting healthy limits is connected to all phases of recovery; growing in self-esteem, dealing with feelings, and learning to really love and value ourselves.

Boundaries emerge from deep within. They are connected to letting go of guilt and shame, and to changing our beliefs about what we deserve. As our thinking about this becomes clearer, so will our boundaries.

Boundaries are also connected to a HIGHER TIMING than our own. We'll set a limit when we're ready, and not a moment before. So will others. There is something magical about reaching that point of becoming ready to set a limit. We know we mean what we say; others take us seriously too. Things change, not because we're controlling others, but because we've changed."

Today, I will trust that I will learn, grow, and set the limits I need in my life at my own pace. This timing need only be right for me.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

What a great way to start off a year... knowing that I am progressing at the rate my HP knows I need! I have grown in self-esteem, and I am working on healing and dealing with feelings that used to overwhelm me. I have learned some new boundaries I didn't really know I needed, and I am going to make sure that I honor those this year.

January 2nd I consider the "true" first day into the new year. Day one is a holiday, and usually full of relaxation, watching the Rose Parade, and bowl games on TV. While things were certainly different yesterday, I still relaxed ALL DAY. I made sure of that. Today, it is back to the business of living, and I am optimistic about the future. What is giving you optimism today, MIP Fam? Share below!

&



__________________

"The wolf that thrives, is the one you feed." - Cherokee legend

"Hello, sun in my face. Hello you who made the morning and spread it over the fields... Watch, now, how I start the day in happiness, in kindness."  ~ Mary Oliver

 

 



Senior Member

Status: Offline
Posts: 131
Date:

Hi P&P, happy new year/new day and thank you for todays reading, your service and ESH.

Knowing that I do possess the ability/right to set boundaries and working toward that goal is a comfort to me as well.

My first marriage ended in a battle, but I had reached by limit/boundary and literally did not care what was said or

done to me by that angry spouse. I would no longer allow him to verbally abuse my children or me anymore and

did not care how much it cost or how long it took to divorce him. So I know what the boundary/line drawn feels

like, when you reach it there is no doubt about it! BTW it took me 3 1/2 years, numerous trips to court to finally

get divorced to the tune of $5K, never regretted it!

There are so many things that I feel optimistic about, but to put it in a nutshell, I feel confident about me and my

life. Grateful for the lessons that have led me to be able to give/receive ESH and for my life just the way it is.



__________________

"Forgiveness doesn't excuse bad behavior, but does prevent bad behavior from destroying your heart" ~ Unknown

Debbie



~*Service Worker*~

Status: Offline
Posts: 2094
Date:

Hey PNP, good way to start the year: boundaries and limitations. One thing I did do pretty good with this program is get pretty OK on boundaries and knowing my limits: what do I want, what do I not want, what I will accept, what I will not accept and I am not afraid to stand to it. I think my boundaries and my limits on myself and others are very fair and reasonable and therefore I Cant stand to them and feel OK about myself. Like when I hurt my back which is healing very nicely and my physical therapy is really helping me but I still cant do quite what I used to do because the muscle is still healing. So I have limitations right now, and I had to set boundaries on myself when I am doing my exercises my strengthening exercises when I feel discomfort, I back off because I dont want to aggravate the thing I want it to completely heal. So I had to really set limits and boundaries on myself because I just go for the gusto when it comes to my physical activities because I have so much fun doing my sports but if I be patient and wait until this thing really heals I can play basketball and tennis and all the other fun things.

As far as this year, January 1 was just another date on the calendar as far as I am concerned. My present is up to me and how good I work my program and how honest and open and willing I am to change for the better and also setting reasonable goals and just keep proceeding in a forward direction. All I have is right now, the past is gone I cannot give it back to me. The future is not here yet so let me deal with that when and if I have eight tomorrow. I am starting to progress in staying in the present and in the moment and because I am doing this, I am more aware of my body and my mind and my emotions and how Im feeling. This program is really awesome and I want to thank you for your service

__________________

Rose, a work in progress!!!

KEEP IT SIMPLE_EASY DOES IT_KEEP THE FOCUS ON ME



~*Service Worker*~

Status: Offline
Posts: 1853
Date:

Thank you for your service PnP and for all above shares. Boundaries are such an important skill to have, and it took me years to understand that I deserved the respect I gave to others. I did improve over time, but not like I have in this department with help from program. I resigned from the doormat club! My A has felt resentment towards alanons effect on me, changes Ive made, and growing into a person I protect and care about. I see my changes as a badge of honor Im proud of. Occasionally I slip briefly, especially with my son, but I get right back up on the horse. Progress not perfection ODAT.

__________________

Lyne



~*Service Worker*~

Status: Offline
Posts: 932
Date:

Boundaroes are such a great topic 

Melody Beattie certainly forged a formidable path wuth her work on codependence. Now we know that the seminal work on codependencs people pleasing and other works was only a small lart of the picture 

 

The new year was indeed a seminal day for me. The day was a saying goodbye to a year replete in stress.  The oandemic being a major part of it. Last year at this time I was looking at major challenges. Then I had the pandemic on top of that 

Then I had major health issues. Then i had financial issues 

The good part is that I got to renew my program and revisit the whole issue of comolex post traumatic stress disorder. Thst has paid off many dividends 

I adore Melody Beattie and I hsve many of her books. They are well thumbed. I particularly apreciate Melody's honesty that she has struggled tremendously in her life 

Reality is jndeed a tough road to travel 

 

Maresie 



__________________
Page 1 of 1  sorted by
 
Quick Reply

Please log in to post quick replies.