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Post Info TOPIC: Courage to Change - January 1


~*Service Worker*~

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Courage to Change - January 1


I feel so fortunate to get to post today's reading for January 1.  It's all about my favorite slogan -- One Day At A Time.  

The reading starts by mentioning that we live in a time of instant gratification -- instant coffee, instant money from bank machines. etc.  Courage to Change was published in 1992 -- imagine how many more instant things we have now! So it's understandable that when we arrive at Al-Anon, we expect instant answers to our problems.

The author points out that our recovery is a process that takes time.  Regaining, rebuilding, healing what we lost while living with alcoholism.  The tools of the program don't give us instant solutions, but they can lead us on a journey that helps us find our own answers. When we stop expecting instant relief, we may understand that where we are on our journey right now is exactly where our Higher Power would have us be.

Today's Reminder: Al-Anon is a One Day At A Time program. No matter what is going on around me, today I know that I am moving forward. I will trust the process of recovery. I'll let time take time.

Quote from ODAT in Al-Anon: "If I am under pressure and setting myself deadlines, I will stop for a few minutes and think of just this one day and what I can do with it."

===============================

I remember when my first sponsor said to me, "time takes time."  I was pushing to jump into Step 4, just after the death of my husband.  I had done the first three steps already, and I was eager - "go go go" -- to get through the rest, because then I figured I would be cured.  She suggested I go back to the first three steps for now.  I realize that was wise. 

I'm working the steps again with my new sponsor, and am coming to value taking time, and savoring each step and not being in a rush.  The healing really is in the journey, not the destination.  And for me the journey takes place one day at a time.  Keeping as much of life as I can in one-day compartments has made a big improvement in my mental health and serenity.  

My recovery is not going to be like fast food re-heated in the microwave.  It is going to be like a sumptuous feast, lovingly prepared, with each ingredient given the amount of time it deserves. When I focus on the chopping, stirring, blending, simmering that is in front of me at that moment, and don't think I should be rushing ahead, the outcome will be more delicious and the whole process will be safer (no chopping off my finger because of rushing!) and more enjoyable. 

In that spirit, I won't say Happy New Year -- but instead Happy New Day to all of us.  I think it's a better deal.  I only get a new year once every 365 days, but I get 365 new days in each year. And no matter how the year goes as a whole, some of the days are going to be good.



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~*Service Worker*~

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Thank you FT for your service and lovely share. Happy New Day to you as well.

Before program, I heard lots of people say One Day at a Time. It had no meaning to me at alljust a silly saying. Now ODAT is part of my lifeline for survival. Its like a life preserver when things feel awfully messy, I can remember to remind myself ever later today, that things can be different. All the slogans seemed so useless to me until I got involved with program for my recovery and well being. Progress not perfection, live and let live, keep it simple, easy does itthey all make sense to me now. Grateful member.

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Lyne



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Thank you Freetime, Happy New Year to you, Lyne and everyone on MIP. Thank you FT for your service and today's C2C.

I thought that you just went through the Steps and you were instantly done!! One day at a time .... life slowly changes and

evolves and have learned that one goes through the 12 Steps numerous times. That of every stage of life brings

changing circumstances and hurdles. I am very grateful for MIP and Al-Anon for all the guidance and caring.

Just recently I returned to Step 1 and 2 to deal with a large amount of resentment, so so helpful indeed to know that those

steps are always there to help me.

{{HUGS}}

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Debbie



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Thanks freetime for posting our first reading for 2021. Odaat is one of my favorite slogans. I came to Alanon wanting instant answers, quick fixes, free advice and release from my pain. When working the steps was suggested, I didn't want to make the effort. I resented that suggestion. I believed my alcoholic's drinking was the problem and separation from him or his sobriety would resolve my problems. Having experienced both with alcoholics, I can attest that neither neither separation from an alcoholic nor an alcoholic loved one being sober has been the answer to a happy, joyous and free life for me. My initial step work was a quick dance 1,2,3,1,2,3. I admitted I couldn't manage, closed my eyes tight and imagined a hp there for me then thought putting it all in the lap of that hp to solve was working the program. This is how I worked Let Go and Let God when new. I wanted the god of my understanding to just fix it, make the pain go away. I'm grateful we have steps beyond those first three and to work them and rework them. The butterfly is a symbol in our Al-anon program because of the metamorphosis process it goes through. My recovery too is a process of growing and spreading my wings and risking to try them. Courage to rise to the occasion continues to be a combination of trust in my higher power to catch me if I fall, trust in others in Al-anon with whom I partner in working the steps and traditions and loving acceptance of myself and progress one day at a time without comparison to others. I'm grateful I reached the point of growing tired of flailing about and took my time as I worked each step with loving sponsors. The action steps in particular have allowed me to face myself more honestly, to find the confidence to take consciousness action with new knowledge about myself and in partnership with my hp who guides my life. Life can be hard. There is no doubt about it. People, places and things can be unpredictable but with working the program one day at a time, one situation at a time I don't need to fear that. Particularly this past year I can look back with gratitude for having this program. Self knowledge by working the action steps, reflecting on other tough life experiences I've made it through and the loving support I received particularly here during 2020 I feel excited to continue my recovery journey. And although today I am only twenty four hours from yesterday, there is something nice about the turning of the year and that inspires hope of positive things, new possibilities, a fresh journal to fill, a new adventure. Happy New Year to all who visit here. Keep coming back. TT

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Happy New Year MIP family! Thank you Freetime for your service and the daily. ODAT is also one of my favorite go to tools. It serves me well in my continuing efforts to find and keep my serenity and joy. My mind can be a wicked place - visiting the past and projecting the future and often not in a positive way. Coming back to this day, this one day certainly helps me no matter what's going on in my life, the world, etc.

This program has given me more than I could ever write about. I arrived throwing blame/shame all over the place and did not see a different/better way. I truly felt and thought that the writing was on the wall, I was destined to be surrounded by disease, insanity, chaos, drama, loss, fear, sadness, anxiety, etc. I had no faith in a solution as I felt the changes necessary were outside of me. I am glad that I was desperate enough to sit and listen long enough to get a little hope which kept me coming back and continues to do so today.

Love and light all - we've got a couple inches of ice on the roads and snow is falling on top of it all. It's pretty to watch, and I'm stocked up well for hibernation. May 2021 be great for all of us!!



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Practice the PAUSE...Pause before judging.  Pause before assuming.  Pause before accusing.  Pause whenever you are about to react harshly and you will avoid doing and saying things you will later regret.  ~~~~  Lori Deschene

 

 



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Since each year I begin with such Hope in my heart, I love the turning of the year!
Sadly, 2020 was  rough. Not my personal roughest though. So there is that. LOL!

I focused on everything that I am grateful for... some days that list was so mundane! But "it is the little things," ya know?

I truly enjoyed Freetime's comparison... not a fast-food meal heated in the microwave, but a "sumptuous feast." For me, I read that and think of a feast with many courses... each one different. Thank you for that visual, Freetime!

Wishing you all love, lightness of being, and good health! Onward, 2021!

&



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"The wolf that thrives, is the one you feed." - Cherokee legend

"Hello, sun in my face. Hello you who made the morning and spread it over the fields... Watch, now, how I start the day in happiness, in kindness."  ~ Mary Oliver

 

 



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I remember when Courage to Change first came out and that was 28 years ago now! Wow, 28 years of One Day at a Time can get you pretty far!! 



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aww The first edition of C2C was badly bound- and fell apart pretty easy...

    I am sure that was fixed. Most books are designed to be read once- twice maybe.

    Not to be opened and used every day! biggrin ...



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DavidG I still have my first copy, and you are right. I am holding it together with a rubber band! I had to buy a new copy! i kept it for a long time because of the notes and highlights I'd made in it, now i just keep it for the nostalgia. smile 



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Today I woke up thinking aha! It's a brand new year and things are going to be totally different. I was in a happy, hopeful mood. But then, after watching Dr Phil and having a discussion with AH about the show and it ending up in a screaming match between us(LOL) I quickly became discouraged. I started thinking stuff like "OMG, nothing will ever change, I just need to move out and get away from him, I am not strong enough for this, life shouldn't be this much of a battle, why am I bothering with Al-Anon at all, I'm never gonna be able to really work the program",etc. I spiraled waaaay down instantly.


But then I remembered "one day at a time". I then decided to focus on just this day and it actually helped me and instantly cheered me up. And I was able to let go of the silly Dr Phil argument and carry on with my day.

It seems so much easier to think of it in terms of one day. That makes it seem/feel do-able.

Happy New year everyone. I hope it's a good one for all of us.



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{{SunnyFrogs)) Happy New Year!!

It does work when we work it doesn't it!

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"Forgiveness doesn't excuse bad behavior, but does prevent bad behavior from destroying your heart" ~ Unknown

Debbie



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Hi there. I'm new to this forum and was wondering how to get to the meeting tonight?



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Jeremiah



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Jeremiah, last I heard the Saturday Morning Meeting, I believe is at 10am.

Private message "Overcome" about details on how to attend.

Found the link for the chat room:  www.12stepforums.net/chatroom2.html

You will need to set up a nickname.

But contact Overcome as well to make sure about date and times.

 



-- Edited by Debb on Friday 1st of January 2021 10:06:44 PM

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Debbie



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Thank you for the daily and service Free, and all above for some really good stuff! ODAT is so crucial to my recovery and getting through each day; so simple yet so powerful.

Welcome, Jeret, glad you are here! I look forward to seeing you in '21

Happy New Year, all

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Paul

"...when we try to control others, we lose the ability to manage our own lives."  - Paths to Recovery 



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Just wanted to say, GREAT JOB SUNNYFROGS!!

I soon found that I couldn't have any type of meaningful discussion with my spouse the last year we were together. It was hard for me to accept, b/c he has always been my best friend, and confidant.
You took a tool from your newly designed "kit" and you employed it to your benefit. Huzzah!

Wishing you greater peace today.
&



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"The wolf that thrives, is the one you feed." - Cherokee legend

"Hello, sun in my face. Hello you who made the morning and spread it over the fields... Watch, now, how I start the day in happiness, in kindness."  ~ Mary Oliver

 

 



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aww Hi Jere... smile...

                         I live in the southern South Pacific, and my times are all out of whack- with EST and western time too.

I just share here on the message board. I am a true "old timer" now and plan to change things round a bit, for me, for 2021.

To try and demonstrate what Alanon FG has done for me, and to pitch in when i am needed. Tweaking, maybe?

Nice to see y'all here... aww ...

 



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When I first came to al.anon my focus was indeed entirely on the alcoholic. Ladt year I kived with an alcoholic for 4 minths. 4 long months of beung truggered. Once again the focus could be on someone else 

That misery that came from being  around an alcoholic was useful in some way. I got bach to the issue of recovery deeply. Then I doscovered the literature on chronic post traumatic stress disorder 

I had always known the roots of ny codependence wers there long before any attachment as an adult 

Then I dived deeply into learning about chronic ptsd and learned codeoendence was a defence mechanism. I also learned that being boundaryless was part of growing up with chronic trauma. 

So how famtastic to take the focus off whichever alcoholic it is.  Taking it all back on me. Getting to a place of not being triggered is so key 

I am so grateful to have the big picture the whole panorma rather than working on small scale 

What I do find now is a much improved nethod of taking care of nyself. I am far far better at not agonizing. I am much better at taking steps to move to a better place. .

 

I am 2 days into the new year and feel far more responsive in taking care of nyself. I feel far more relaxed. I also feel far more focused .

Last year was incredibly difficult for me but it got me to here 

Last year was indeed one set back after another set back 

Sometimes the tension was really difficult to manage

Now I am in a far better place 

Of course the world around me is not in great shape but I can observe my need to catastrophise 

I  can also observe that the holidays are a huge trigger for people.  We are certainly not alone in being triggered by people. 

 

Maresie

 



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Ahhhh the family is here and again I am grateful to be able to read and gain the blessings of this board.  Also I am grateful for this one day; having started it from this cold morning in my grand-daughters bed.  We were baby sitting Riley for the past few days; their happy dog while they vacationed down the coast.  I will loyally fall asleep and awaken to program prayer and thoughts so my sleep is quiet when I get it.  My only change is practice with meditation and comfort which program is skill work for me. 

I look forward to wakening in the program and am grateful to find you all at home.   ((((hugs)))) winkbiggrin 

 

 



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Jerry F


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When I first came across this slogan I hated it 

Keep in mind I learned to catastrophize in life. After all bad things happened to me on a regular basis. So certainly more could come my way.  Catadtrophiing is very common for those with chronic ptsd 

Now I know how to say no to other people's issues

I have enough of my own.  I have responsibility to my own needs 

Before if someone had a problem then it was my problem. After all my yearning was to be known and needed. Thst yearning felt insatiable 

That is to be acknowledged. 

So if I got used uo that was the orice of being in relationship. 

That is all the baggage that goes along with addiction .

I had my own issues of course. The addict did not have much time for those . 

After all their needs came first. 

I was used to subjugatimg my needs. I do not think my family of origin ever asked me how I was.

So my ingrained patterns definitely were right there in my relationship with the alcoholic 

In al anon I learned to be reponsive to my own needs. I learned to take myself seriously. I learned to stop putting everyone else first 

I am so glad to be at that place of puttimg nyself first 

I really never thought I would get there.

I am very grateful I made it. That was a journey of one day at  time. 

 

Maresie

 

 



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Freetime. Thank you for this share I am boy I needed this because one day at a time is one of my bigger goals to work on in that letting the past go as much as I can unless I absolutely have to deal with a bad memory or something and not to fret about the future because it is not even here yet I want to just focus on what I can do for me and Service to my higher power today. Just for today. It is a big tendency with unemployment all screwed up whats going to happen when it runs out? Well today I am OK. And that is all I have is today and boy I have been really tested on this and have to do a lot of stopping and breathing and getting myself into the present moment to stay in today because if I make good energy today then I can draw may be on that tomorrow if I have tomorrow. Thank you for your service and your very much needed share

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KEEP IT SIMPLE_EASY DOES IT_KEEP THE FOCUS ON ME

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