The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
In today's reading, the author reflects on tradition 11 - Al-Anon's public relations policy is based on attraction rather than promotion.
The author stresses the importance of keeping the focus on themselves as one way to live this tradition. As the author shares, if I am not walking the walk, there is little point in talking the talk. demonstrating recovery in their life to the best of their ability helps the author prevent using talking about the program as a substitute for living it. The author has found that they tend to feel most compelled to suggest that someone else attend a meeting when they themselves are in need of a meeting the most.
Today's Reminder: Before I start telling people about Al-Anon, I might consider posing this question to myself: Did they ask?
Today's Quote: Example is not the main thing in influencing others. It is the only thing. Albert Schweitzer
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This tradition is one that I have put a lot of thought into. My home group is very small, usually 3-4 people per meeting. And so I've done some thinking about balancing tradition 11 with tradition 7 (each group ought to be self-supporting). This is also a frequent topic in my home group. Would it be appropriate to print fliers and distribute them in public places throughout the community? In order to be self-supporting, we need additional members, but tradition 11 dictates that we base membership on attraction, not promotion. However, how can we gain members by attraction if no one knows we exist? It is a tricky balancing act, and one that my home group has not yet resolved. We are thinking a lot about it.
On a personal level, I do try to walk the Al-Anon walk. Under normal circumstances, I do my best to go to two meetings each week (although, if I wasn't there, the meetings might not happen because of the size of the group!), and connect with my Al-Anon friends between meetings. If it seems like a good/appropriate time in a conversation to share about my AlAnon program, I do share, but I only provide meeting information when I am asked for it. This is the way I am trying to live tradition 11 right now, I'm interested in learning about how others are living this tradition.
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Skorpi
If you are depressed, you are living in the past. If you are anxious, you are living in the future. If you are at peace, you are living in the present. - Lao Tzu
Good morning all and thank you Skorpi for your service and the daily. I also appreciate your ESH & share. That simple question has become as helpful to me as the Pause - Did They Ask? I have always been one who offers guidance, suggestions, opinions, etc. and have come to an age/stage where I now better understand that's not necessary or even wanted.
I can practice this in all my affairs! The older I get, the more I find peace & serenity in being humble and listening. In recent years, my best response has become no response or just a quick prayer for self and others. I no longer feel the weight of the world on my shoulders, which it seems I carried for so, so long. Being authentic and allowing life to unfold and allowing others to just be who they need to be -- priceless.
I don't find it necessary to shout from the rooftops that there is hope and help in recovery. I don't find it helpful to overload others with all we gain here, instead offering an ear, a shoulder (non pandemic) or a safe place to share. I'm grateful I have and trust a power greater than I to lead me daily, one day at a time to where I need to be!
Off to golf shortly. Winter golf is fun yet challenging as we've got more layers on and very, very hard ground! I love the added distance from the 'bounce and roll'!! Make it a great day all...(((Hugs)))
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Practice the PAUSE...Pause before judging. Pause before assuming. Pause before accusing. Pause whenever you are about to react harshly and you will avoid doing and saying things you will later regret. ~~~~ Lori Deschene
Good morning Skorpi and Iamhere! Thank you Skorpi for the Daily and both of you for your thoughts on Tradition 11.
I very rarely talk about Al-Anon directly. If someone asks, I will tell them, "It is what has worked for me, & I like how I can personalize it to my specifications - for the most part." I do not direct them to this site. I figure they can find it easily enough... I know I did!
I was always the one that people came to for advice... and I didn't mind giving it. Now, there have been many times I have actually bit my tongue to keep from blurting out a solution/idea. 1. That allows my son to grow and learn from his own mistakes 2. helps me to remember, just b/c someone is sharing their struggles, doesn't mean they want advice... it is better if I wait for the "What do you think?"
In regards to Tradition 11 - I never thought that making a meeting location/time known to the public is self-promotion. It is just sharing important information. I know that technically, one could argue that it is indeed self-promotion... but I believe not in the sense that Tradition 11 is referring to. My group took a group conscience about this very thing a while back, and that was the consensus that was reached. Location/time is considered data...without influence or bias.
I hope everyone enjoys this "Hump Day!"
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"The wolf that thrives, is the one you feed." - Cherokee legend
"Hello, sun in my face. Hello you who made the morning and spread it over the fields... Watch, now, how I start the day in happiness, in kindness." Mary Oliver
December 9th was my deceased Mother's birthday; a mother I had such a bad relationship with. She was a daughter of and sister to the disease plus lived in a angry hated relationship with the God of her understanding because my Dad, her first husband died too early and she lost her eldest child, my sister, who she acclaimed a saint. She took out her Oppositional/Defiant condition often on me with physical beatings and angry mental and emotional behaviors, thoughts, and feelings. I with the directions and guidance of my Higher Power had and took the opportunity to counsel her and my step father during and after a rage filled screaming match I was an inch away from abandoning. I stopped to pray and ask for guidance before leaving their home and as I reached for the door handle heard my Higher Power say, "You are a counselor aren't you?" I was so I turned around walked back into the house and asked them both to spend time with me and that they could not talk, only listen for the 45 minutes I needed. I never had it in my mind to counsel my parents; that was my HP's idea.
They agreed to what I asked with my Mom in bed with a broken hip waiting for the operation and my step father slouched against the wall as quiet as can be. When I was done I left yet it wasn't over because the next day in the hospital my father called me back into my mom's room and told me that they had never heard before what I had mentioned to them the night before and that he and my mom had discussed it and agreed it was true. What I mentioned to them was that no one would put up with that kind of treatment and continue to hang around unless there was a strong love to be had between them. Stuff I learned in the practice of my program and with the counseling I was doing with many alcoholic/addict families.
My mom got her operation and my Dad went on to care for her and I got quiet and serene with them both especially with Mom. Thank you HP, is there anything else you would like me to do?
Thanks Skorpi, and hi! Iam and P. 
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