The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
The author of today's reading reflects on what to do when in doubt. When in doubt, wise Al-Anon members have suggested that the author ask their higher power for clarity and help, and to trust that the request will be granted when the time is right.
Today's Reminder: After years of asking only for a particular solution to a problem, such as, "Please make the alcoholic stop drinking!" - I need to learn a better way to ask for help. Today I will meditate for a few minutes on what I need, and then I will ask a Power greater than myself to help me with it.
Today's Quote: "Even if we have struggled with the idea of a Higher Power, we have learned that asking for help works..." ...In All Our Affairs
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Today's reading is a challenging one for me. I don't identify with Christianity, and the wording in today's reading takes a bit of mental work on my part to get at the message. But, I have often found myself that when I give up on HOW I want something to change, and instead ask for what I need (patience, strength, hope, clarity, etc.) that I do receive what I need in a time that seems right. Asking for help does help me, and asking for help can take many forms - asking my HP, stating a need in an Al-Anon meeting, asking an Al-Anon friend. When making a request of other Al-Anon members, I need to let go of my desire for how that plays out and instead make my request, and be at peace about whatever comes next - whether my request is met or not, and how it all plays out. But, if I am willing to let go of my control over the how, I am amazed at the wonderful things that happen.
Fall is here, and winter is around the corner. We had our first snow flurries of the year earlier this week, although further north, my parents already have snow. (I got a few pictures from them as proof!) A bit early this year, but I am once again thankful to be heading into winter in my current house, next door to an Al-Anon friend, with a functional snow blower and a driveway flat enough to use the snow blower on! I do suppose that it might be time to take the last few veggies out of the garden this weekend. Maybe the green tomatoes will ripen in the house, and I don't believe the red cabbage is going to get much bigger this season!
I hope you make today a great day!
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Skorpi
If you are depressed, you are living in the past. If you are anxious, you are living in the future. If you are at peace, you are living in the present. - Lao Tzu
Skorpi thanks for your service and share. Acceptance is a huge part of my recovery. I accept my A is still drinking and not interested in alcohol treatment. With acceptance, and not trying to force solutions, I can lean into HP and program. I try to put my focus and energy on the things I can change.
I love when you talk about your "neck of the woods." Sometimes it is hard to live in CA when you are longing for true Autumn weather! Then again, I am forever grateful when I am hearing of bitter east coast winters! LOL! Enjoy the last of your summer harvest!
I used to ask God for things. Small things, big things. I never asked to be placed where She thought it would be right, and accept the outcome. This is the belief that Al-Anon brought to me, and the one I work on each day. Changing perceptions. Acceptance.
Big ideas... good ideas!
Happy Hump Day! Make it a good one! &
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"The wolf that thrives, is the one you feed." - Cherokee legend
"Hello, sun in my face. Hello you who made the morning and spread it over the fields... Watch, now, how I start the day in happiness, in kindness." Mary Oliver
Skorpi, thank you for today's share. I too am not religious, and had a hard time embracing Step 11 "... sought through prayer and meditation..." Recently I was nudged by my sponsor, who is religious herself, to face this step. I came up with something that works marvelously for me, at least for now. I simply step out into nature for a few minutes each day, and observe it. I am blessed to be surrounded by trees, squirrels, birds, etc. -- and I just take a few minutes to observe all of it. It is a nice breath of serenity for me, and it is my current form of meditation. At times like this, the answer to a dilemma will sometimes come to me.
I love the quote "...we have learned that asking for help works.." That has been true for me. I used to think that if I had to ask for help, it meant I was stupid or incompetent, and anyway I was too shy and reserved to ask anyone for anything. But when I simply put my problem out there, in the presence of actual human beings, I have received help so many times now, that I believe it is true.
I crrtainly do not know how to.ask.for heop. That is because I did not get much as a child. In fact I wasntremendously neylected as a child.
Thezee dsys I am working overtime to deal wuth the recession that is almost guaranteed to come next year. A recessiin requires soecial preoaration. That us to be ready for i. Of course nio ine. Iukd have been ready for a pandemic. I can of.course be ready for the recession that is guaranteed to follow.
I am still dealing wuth the fall out from not being ready fir the rennovation. Certainly baving some savungs woukd have helped. I had some but not enough. Then being irgamized woukd have helped tok. In addition I am having ti deal with the kssues of primimg. In certain situations I.am orimed to get into fweking untensely frustrated
Therefore in this fkurry of activity I am asking my HP dailh for help in taking care of myself. I am slso of course awaee that when I set boundaeies with certain people their response is to get extremely nasty and even abusive. That was certainky my experience in many eelationshiios. On two occasions in the past week oeople went off on me when I set a bkundary. The second time the woman did it in front of a police officee. That meant she was thrown out. After all in a civilized society yiy cannot atart yelling and calling people names in a functioniing society. Rather if you do
you exoose yourself as being tremendously impulsive ans imature.
The other issue if course is oriming. I have to try to avoid situations where I am frustrated.
I made minir changes to my morning schedule the resukt is a mire aeamless routune. That makes a tremendous difference .
The effort I am putting in to make change is considerable. That is because this has been a very challenging year for me. Incannit have 2021 to be.a disastorous year. So i have to metaphorically as well as in roght time. Every day I have to get ready because I most certainy waw not ready this year and I really paid for it
Thanks Skorpi for the daily and your service. I love the subject because it brings up so many growth memories regarding change from when I first was introduced to the program and then finally gave up my resistance to it and the fellowship. My resistance was the cause of ongoing problems with the disease and the alcoholic/addict and my understanding regarding what change meant. I didn't know and didn't know I didn't know which was and at times still is the cause of being stuck.
Prayer and meditation and inventory (my part in it) bring solutions. Of importance also is listening for the voice and leadership of my Higher Power.
After learning how to use prayer, meditation and inventorying I arrived at a conversation with my Higher Power that I still, after many years, use in process. I ask my Higher Power who I acknowledge as "Father" to "place me where you want me....then tell me what to do". I don't often leave the solutions and work up to my HP cause I need the experience of recovery.
When time takes time to arrive at solutions I practice patience and reviewing the lessons I have received from the fellowship which I am overlooking.
It takes courage to do this as I continue to fall and trip over old practices time to time.
Let go and let God... but sometimes god has to lead us and prompt us to do the right thing... awareness, acceptance, action.
Thanks Skorpi. I don't think there is any top or bottom to this world- except on maps... spring is here. The first fruit is forming and gotten through the frost belt. Things are greening up and growing.
I have ceased to trust spellcheck- and I run my eyes along the lines. Picking up random words and collecting them... that should read -'correcting them'.
When I began sharing here- I would come back, sometimes to edit correct. These days I know ah is much more settled. A lot tidier... and this took time and patience.
So, a great way to share- and a great way to grow emotionally...
...thanks y'all... have a lovely evening as I enjoy Thursday morning...
Thank you Skorpi for your service and the daily. Thank you all for your shares & ESH. We 'tried' to get some golf into this morning, but the golf Gods had other plans....it was misting when we started and it was raining when they cleared the course by blowing the horn (lightning). It was also in the 40's so just.not.ideal.golf.weather. We enjoyed what we got in and I now have an excuse to clean/dry my clubs, gear, etc.
I recall early on the slogan of 'when in doubt, don't.' It was so foreign to me as I had a long standing practice of finding solutions, solving problems, etc. I had never considered doubt = don't....and wasn't sure if I wanted to do 'that' or if I could do 'that'. What I know now that I didn't know then is when I feel composed to find solutions and solve problems, I am controlling others through my best intentions and without malice. Control takes on many different looks and this was a subtle way I was doing it and not even knowing.
For me, the Pause to Pray before I Proceed is useful always, not just when I have doubts. I've taken action before without any doubts only to find again that I was beyond my own boundaries and controlling others with the best of intentions and without malice. I was raised with organized religion, which I left behind many moons ago. I started in recovery using the phrase Good Orderly Direction when the literature or a member used the word God as it helped me move beyond the religious aspect. Over time, I have formalized the 'God of my Understanding' and am content with it. I do use the word/name God and miraculously get Good Orderly Direction when I rely on this power vs. my own (self-will).
I do trust that I will be directed where I need to be when I need to be. I sometimes lost my faith yet find comfort always in a phrase my fav. aunt used to say, "If you're worrying, you're not praying." I have really found it to be true - my mind/heart can't do both at once and each replaces the other...I so prefer a prayerful moment than a worrying moment, so try to do the p any time the w arises.
Asking for help did not come easy for me. I was raised that it was a sign of weakness and should be left as a last resort. A lovely sponsor suggested I flip flop that whole way of thinking to shorten my pain. I am better at reaching out for help today than before because it does work. I do trust my HP to speak through others in all situations for the benefit of both. We can't continue to grow if we don't give away what we've gained.
Enjoy the day MIP family and enjoy the season for those experiencing change. Love and light to all...
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Practice the PAUSE...Pause before judging. Pause before assuming. Pause before accusing. Pause whenever you are about to react harshly and you will avoid doing and saying things you will later regret. ~~~~ Lori Deschene
I think getting to a HP was hard for me. My.family was on the surface extremely religious. Church was the most important thing on Sundays. At one time we said prayers late at night. That was rather too late at night so when I fell asleep my father hit me.
My parents put on a great show outside the house about their devotion to religion. I had numerous relatives who showed upnregularly who had formal roles in religious orders. Their sense of entitlement was extraordinary
Therefore growing up in this god fearing environment was not too grear for my spirituality
I have had to really see how for certain people having a spiritual program helped them s great deal
So I certainly do not participate in a formal program.
I pray every day for the strength to meet the day
I also oray to find ways to deal with certain issues
I am finding oriming to be a real issue for me
I know that I have a long way to go with realky getting to take care of myself. This weekend is going to be a marathon (which will knock out my insurance bill)
I am working on ways to take care of myself through it
Planning certainly helos. Nevertheless it will be a marathon effort and that is gruelling
I certainly could go into my savings to pay these bills. I have done that in the oasr and it did not work out so well for me.
So I keep my emergency money separate from my budget. If I spend that money what will I do then?
I would rather save it for a real emergency
I will certainly be oraying all weekend. Pray I do not get any more bills. Pray I can pay them off
Pray I can find a way to have the holidays even though i will be working
My orayers are different from those of ny family of orign who were obsessed with where they would go when they died
I am a little more concerned with what I am going to do today rather than what is going to hapoen after I die.
Maresie
I do suppose that it might be time to take the last few veggies out of the garden this weekend. Maybe the green tomatoes will ripen in the house, and I don't believe the red cabbage is going to get much bigger this season! 
& 
Thanks Skorpi. I don't think there is any top or bottom to this world- except on maps... spring is here. The first fruit is forming and gotten through the frost belt. Things are greening up and growing.