The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
Today's reading from C2C is about Step 6 - Were entirely ready to have God remove all these defects of character.
"In Step 6 I contemplate my life undergoing change -- tremendous change. The great fear is this: If I shed many characteristics that stand in my why, what will be left? It is as though I face a great void. a terrifying unknown. Yet when I have acknowledge how far I have come, I can see how much I want to change. The desire to grow and to heal has brought me to this uncomfortable point, because I am tired of the way I have been. My higher power is there to guide me when I am ready.
I find solace in the fact that in Step 6 I need not change anything; I must simply prepare myself for change.I can take all the time I need. Such manageability is what I set out to find in the first place. Now it is part of my life."
TODAY'S REMINDER: I need not judge this rate at which I change old habits or ways of thinking. If I am uncomfortable with old behavior, then on some level I am already moving forward, changing it. Change will not be effective unless I am ready for it. I need only trust that, when the time comes to move forward, I will know it.
I remember my first foray into The Steps. I remember feeling overwhelmed by the amount of behaviors I had to change to "be healthy, happy & peaceful." My sponsor was the one that helped me to see that I didn't need to get rid of some things entirely. I had many great qualities that had turned negative in the presence of dealing with an addicted loved one. She "introduced" me to Step 6. Even before I was "ready." She told me, "Look, see how your HP gives you the power and control... you only need to be ready and willing to have your HP work in your life right now... nothing more. Do not fear this step."
She was right of course.
Due to being under self-quarantine until my co-worker's test came up "negative" last weekend, I have a lot to get accomplished this weekend. I hope to also get in some self-care too! Create the weekend you want! Be safe, MIP Family!
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"The wolf that thrives, is the one you feed." - Cherokee legend
"Hello, sun in my face. Hello you who made the morning and spread it over the fields... Watch, now, how I start the day in happiness, in kindness." Mary Oliver
Thank you PnP for your service, the daily and your share....so, so glad to hear that your co-worker's test was negative. That gives me some relief for you and your parents!
I came to recovery with a long-standing habit of over-analyzing EVERYTHING and trying to be PERFECT. Naturally, the steps were daunting to me at first glance - so much so that I immediately feared FAILURE (projected it for me too).
I really, really needed to support, guidance and experience of my sponsor and others who came before me as I just did not know how to practice and accept progress vs. perfection.
I readily admit that I feared change of/in me. In my way of thinking (distorted), I'd managed to get through abuse, rape, assault, alcoholism, loss, etc. - would 'changing me' make me more vulnerable?
My experience is YES, I am more vulnerable today, in recovery, because I am willing to feel and face life on life's terms vs. living in the safe place of denying my part and blaming/shaming others.
When I first read this step, I completely missed the first part...Today, I trust that my HP will always be with me, lead me in/out of life's many detours and if I keep an open mind, and practice humility, I'll keep learning, changing and growing.
So, my laptop began acting strangely yesterday and it's all keyboard related. Of course, it reminds me of Betty as she had keyboard issues and it drove her mad at times. I got so frustrated at first, as a shift key is broken and so is my enter/return key. As I began to hunt/peck to work around it and explore possible issues, I did have to laugh at myself wondering if Betty was above giggling at my efforts!!
I am able to add space here only by recalling HTML programming from long, long ago...it's nice to know I recall enough to get by until I get another keyboard/laptop!
I did start my day my favorite way - golfing with the God of my understanding. I took my husband along as well....we got finished before the heat rolled in - it's returned and that's OK - I'm grateful for the lovely weather we had for a minute...Love and light to all - make it a grand day/evening.
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Practice the PAUSE...Pause before judging. Pause before assuming. Pause before accusing. Pause whenever you are about to react harshly and you will avoid doing and saying things you will later regret. ~~~~ Lori Deschene
Thanks PNP for your service and for both above shares. As for the reading, I believe I am ready for HP to remove all my defects of character and I ask for this to happen every single morning. Im tired of my defects and think I will be happier without them. I also think because some of them developed in my FOO, that it may not be possible for them to go completely away, like having a fear-based personality. But over time the intensity of them is lessening, and perhaps thats the best I can hope for.
I do miss Betty and I enjoy others bringing up memories of her. I dont want to sound like a broken record speaking about her, but the long-lasting effect of having her as my sponsor is a tremendous gift she gave me. She was truly an inspiration to me. RIP Hotrod.
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