The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
In today's reading from C2C, that author reflects on time spent feeling badly about who we are or what we have done. In the author's opinion, many of us have spent too much time on these thoughts. Perhaps harsh criticism by others or lost perspective has caused us to be overly hard on ourselves. This kind of self-destructive thinking can stop today.
While it does take time for old doubts to fade and wounds to hear, self confidence grows with patience. We can acknowledge that we have positive qualities. If we have negative thoughts running through our heads throughout the day we can counteract them with positive thoughts. For every character flaw we identify, we can list an asset. We can make a list of 5-10 things we feel good about our day before bed.
With practice, we learn to treat ourselves with gentleness and compassion, and we learn to let our admirable qualities shine.
Today's Reminder: Today I will make an effort to remember that I am a terrific human being.
Today's Quote: "Ever'thing there is but lovin' leaves a rust on yo' soul." Langston Hughes
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I like the reminder in today's reading that self-confidence grows over time, and it is something that I can build, if I remember to be gentle and compassionate with myself. While I've never really been one to have thoughts coursing through my head, I recall times before the program where I just felt terrible about myself and my life choices. I was hard on myself, and didn't have a lot of flexibility for myself. I'm thankful that working the steps helped me to give up my character flaws and focus on my strengths. Often, I found that my flaws were actually character strengths that I was relying on to an unhealthy degree. By relying on these traits less, things slowly came back to balance for me, and my array of tools has expanded.
One thing the program has really helped me to do is think logically about whether, each day, I have done my best and whether there are things I would like to change for tomorrow. Sometimes I find that my approach could be bettered, or I could be less upset if I changed my approach or my thinking. And, at the same time, the program helps me to give myself credit for the progress I make and to not expect perfection from myself.
Today, I'm feeling good about walking all 4 of my dogs before work and before it got hot. What are you feeling good about today?
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Skorpi
If you are depressed, you are living in the past. If you are anxious, you are living in the future. If you are at peace, you are living in the present. - Lao Tzu
Thanks Skorpi for your service and share. Im an expert at self-hate, shame, self-blame, and low self -esteem. Was taught this in my FOO and its taken years of therapy to chip away at it, and now with program, I have the icing on the cake. My sponsor gave me a daily exercise which I did for years, that included listing an asset about myself daily. At first this was daily torture, but after a couple years, I got itIm not all bad and there is lots of good. Whew, Im allowed to see the positive and negative, and work on changing what I dont like.
A few days ago I made a scarecrow from my own clothes, to scare hawks away who have been eyeballing my dogs. I had so much fun making it, Im proud of myself for doing something outside my box, and I continue to enjoy my effort and results. Work in progress here, Lyne
Good morning Skorpi - thank you for the daily and your service! I bet your dogs will really love the outdoors, the walk, etc. Enjoy, enjoy, enjoy!
I can raise my hand and profess guilty as charged relative to self-assessment, criticism, etc. When I first arrived, I was in denial about 'my part' and the need for my recovery. When I became 'woke', I obsessed over all that I did 'wrong' and the like. It took me a while to practice finding the positive in myself, each day, each event, etc. It was a necessary, hands-on effort for me to learn to see what's good and/or better instead of focusing on what's broken or 'bad'.
Today, I am way better at embracing today, this one day, which in my mind starts in the morning. I have a choice each day how I want to experience life and events for that day. I can use an 'I have to' attitude or an 'I get to' attitude. I shoot for the latter as it just makes all I experience more pleasant.
I opted out of golf this morning so I could sub for another in a league this afternoon/early evening. We had a lovely, unexpected rain shower - grateful that God did the watering for today. It's going to get close to 100, so we tee off @ the hottest part of the day - 4pm...I am feeling good that I am healthy enough to fill in for another and willing to do so. I am also grateful that recovery has taught me to be a bit more flexible in all that changes - I'm content with doing around here, catching up on some chores, hydrating for later and just chillin'.
What has helped me grow in self-awareness and self-acceptance is a learned belief that the God of my understanding truly wants me to be happy, joyous and free. If I am not feeling 'that way', I am grateful for the many tools I can explore to 'get there'.
Happy hump day all - love and light!
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Practice the PAUSE...Pause before judging. Pause before assuming. Pause before accusing. Pause whenever you are about to react harshly and you will avoid doing and saying things you will later regret. ~~~~ Lori Deschene
Thanks Lyne for your share and ESH! I believe we were posting @ the same time. Awesome to hear about your scarecrow! I bet your fur-babies are very grateful....ha.ha.ha.ha.
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Practice the PAUSE...Pause before judging. Pause before assuming. Pause before accusing. Pause whenever you are about to react harshly and you will avoid doing and saying things you will later regret. ~~~~ Lori Deschene
Skorpi - I appreciate your service and especially this Daily!
I can surely relate to your share of many of your flaws were over-utilized character strengths! I have always been my harshest critic!! As I move through and work this program, I am finding less and less that my "fall back" is to attack myself. That is a great thing!
Since my day just started here, I'll need to get back to you on what I am feeling good about - Just for Today!
I must say, I got a smile on my face envisioning Lyne hard at work making her scarecrow doppleganger!! I could hear the smile on your face, and the sense of accomplishment. Thank you for the good feelings! I know your fur-babies will benefit!
We are in a pattern of "still June gloom" here... yesterday it rained!! I was so excited to hear I will be getting Friday off... until I found out all the beaches AND the parking/beach accesses will be closed - the one outdoor place where it is feasible to truly distance! At first I was kind of angry at all the non-mask wearers, but when I took a step back and looked at this rationally, I knew this was bound to happen, so I quit blaming and just told myself to be joyous with having a 3-day weekend!!
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"The wolf that thrives, is the one you feed." - Cherokee legend
"Hello, sun in my face. Hello you who made the morning and spread it over the fields... Watch, now, how I start the day in happiness, in kindness." Mary Oliver
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