The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
Today's Daily is taken from The Language of Letting Go by Melodie Beattie.
For this reading, she speaks to the 6th Step of Al-Anon...
"Were entirely ready to have God remove all these defects of character."
She speaks of the long and diligent road to progress by working on the first five Steps. This work readies us for the important step for the change of heart - an openness to become changed by the Power Greater Than Ourselves. Many people have to struggle with a behavior or feeling before we become ready to let it go. She goes on to say that the defects of character referred to in Step Six are old survival behaviors that once helped us cope with people, life... even ourselves (emphasis added by me). However, now we find that they get in the way, and it is time to be willing to have them removed.
Then she says something important I feel,... "Tust in this time. Trust that you are being readied to let go of that which is no longer useful. Trust that a change of heart is being worked out in you."
Prayer for the Day: Higher Power, help me become ready to let go of my defects of character. Help me to know, in my mind and soul, that I am ready to let go of my self-defeating behaviors, the blocks and barriers of my life.
I exhibited many behaviors that I grew up with or I developed within my marriage to an addict. I didn't really know that they could be detrimental until I delved into Step 6. Well, I began to understand that they were there with my Step 4. But like the reading mentions, I had to struggle with a few to become ready to let them go. This took Time. It couldn't be hurried along... no matter how much I wanted to. I mean, who wants to look at their faults with a magnifying glass anyway. right? That was the reason for the terminology of the Step!!! "Were entirely ready..." It took time for me to learn how to TRUST again. And well, Time took Time.
Today, I have learned which of these detrimental behaviors were good to Let Go, and which were overblown great traits. This realization was huge for me!!!
It is a gloomy, drizzly Saturday. Yet I awoke with Hope in my heart. I am going to work in the soil today... ground my feet to Mother Earth! Choose to do something today that gives you Joy... then spread that Joy to someone else... all it takes is a smile.
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"The wolf that thrives, is the one you feed." - Cherokee legend
"Hello, sun in my face. Hello you who made the morning and spread it over the fields... Watch, now, how I start the day in happiness, in kindness." Mary Oliver
Thanks for the daily PnP and for your service! Thanks to you and David for your ESH and shares. What encourages me about step work in recovery is each time, I find 'more'....more connection to my HP, more inventory to consider, more defects to let go of, etc. What I am grateful for is Al-Anon suggests we are seeking progress always, not perfection. I also have come to see that we just need to be willing to be open and sure enough more is/will be revealed.
Speaking for myself, there were survival behaviors that I actually took great pride in using. I have a smart mind and mouth, a wickedly sharp tongue and a high degree of sarcasm that sits on the tip of my tongue...I took great pride and pleasure in delivering stingers in discussions/arguments/debates and also in being right about anything/everything. I have changed greatly and while those 'tools' still exist within me, I no longer choose to use them. And, if I do - thru a reaction without pausing, or a moment of complete frustration, it no longer feels good at all. Of course, it also causes me to make amends which I willingly do, but try to pause on the front end so I don't have to do this on the back end.
Step 6 suggests we only need to be ready and open and God will do the rest! For me, that doesn't mean I get to be as I was, but instead I must practice what's been suggested. Choosing to be happy instead of being right or 'winning' has brought me more peace/joy than I ever dreamed. I am reminded HOW it all works - Honesty, Openness and Willingness.
Happy Saturday all - we've got hotter than he!! temperatures and we golfed early this morning - thank goodness! Doing the same tomorrow trying to beat the heat. Love and light MIP family!
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Practice the PAUSE...Pause before judging. Pause before assuming. Pause before accusing. Pause whenever you are about to react harshly and you will avoid doing and saying things you will later regret. ~~~~ Lori Deschene
Thanks (((((((PnP)))))))) For your service and share.....the more I work my program, particularly the "clean up steps" 4,5,6 I see more "stuff" that needs to be let go of and I find more closeness with my higher power and I know I am in caring hands, even tho I don't know whats around the corner, its the 'letting go" that is still scary for me, but i am getting better at it...less claw marks on the stuff I let go of....do my best and surrender the rest is one of my favorite mantras....it all comes out in the wash anyway, so why worry??? simple but oh so difficult at times....AND I don't have to know my plan, just that there must be one because I am still breathing......
Letting go is so so critical. My people pleasing because of so many issues was absolutely life threatening
After a long long time in the program I have learned to say #No#
Now when people put pressure on me I can push back. I can set limits. I can step back and say I am at my limit right now. I am hunkered down in this binker until I.get clear.
Saying #No# is not something I got to do as a child. In all my relationships I did not say No. I over comoensated.
I was friends if you can say that with a woman a few years ago who was always in crisis. I rescued her more than once. Whatever I did was like throwing a penny into bucket of water. It was never even acknowledged
I had to give up that friendship because there was no give and take there. If I asked her for anything I received nothing back. That is nothing whatsoever back not even an acknowledgement I existed in time and space.
Those form of relationships were atypical for me
This is the first time in my life where I am first. That is my needs are first. My health is first. My financial well being is first. That is a first that is extremely unfamiliar for me.
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