The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
Melody Beattie. Talks about choices-we do have choices, more than we let ourselves see
when we feel trapped, that is codependency rearing its head. When we hear ourselves say that we have to take care of somebody or we have to try and control that person or we have to behave a certain way or we have to feel a certain way-when we do this were not seeing our real choices
she tells us that feeling trapped is an allusion-that we are not controlled by our circumstances or the past or others expectations-we can choose what feels right for us without guilt and we do have options
Recovery is not about behaving perfectly or according to any buddy elses rules-it is about knowing we have choices and giving ourselves the freedom to choose-the goal is to open the thinking and to the choices available and making choices that are good for us
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I used to feel like I was in a trap-a victim-and when I was a child that was true, he had all the power-back then, yes. But that was then and this is now
I have choices now. I can walk away from bad jobs. I can ask roommates to leave my home-I can choose not to take on any more clients which I have done and I have chosen to slow down which means a bit less money but I want more fun time for me I have the choice to work my program or to not work my program all of these have consequences but at least I know I have choices-And if I make a bad choice, I can choose to learn the lesson and be humble with my higher power or I can choose to be stubborn and work on self ego and pay the consequences I have choices
My finger is bad so I am working on my microphone I hope this post is OK. I cannot put any pressure on this finger itll be mid July before I am able to really use it
(((Mamalioness))). Thank you for this share. What a wonderful feeling of peacefulness. It has the effect of the welcome breeze that gently drifts in the window late at night in summer where before the air was stifling and still.
Reminding of choices brought calm to my mind as I worry about our city and country opening and the virus and stories of the grim realities so many have experienced. Ive gone back and forth about staying locked away to stay safe and sooth my daughters (and my) fears around all of it to guilting myself for not taking a walk or heaven forbid having taken caution too far. You reminded me, its my choice. No pressure...my choice. If staying hidden means we wont come in contact with this invisible monster, then we can do just this because its right for us. Neither of us have a simple story when it comes to health, though we are blessed by wellness now, the fear of what that would mean in the face of this virus is nothing I want to find out. This time has been heavy, made worse by strife with family and the realization I should reconnect with my therapist after 4 years only to find she has moved away. I am forever grateful for my little darling, my fur babies, even my AH at times and most certainly the fact that he is under stay at home orders 4 hours away by plane, my family (strife or not), my friends, and my ability to choose what the best way forward is for me and my child. Im forever grateful for MIP, and the peace and wisdom of every special person on here whose constant comfort and support Ive come to rely. Thank you again for your share. Wishing you the very best days forward.
