Thanks (((Lyne))) for today's reading and your personal share. This was a very early lesson for me in Alanon. "Keep the focus on yourself." What got me here was my over involvement in the lives of other people with little focus on building a life of my own. I desperately sought acceptance from others who I placed on pedestals based on my own projections of who I wanted to believe they were. Wow, can I tag along? Will you let me hang out with you? Of course this was all self imposed. Had I been self actualized, I would have been curious about my own attributes but sadly I didn't know I had any when I got here. Thankfully, my higher power put lessons of self exploration on my path by way of working the steps with a loving Alanon sponsor. The heavy weight of codependence began to lift and I stopped seeking out unhealthy people for unhealthy reasons based on unhealthy boundaries in order not to be alone with myself. Being alone with me isn't scary to me any longer. In fact, I like me very much and enjoy my time with my hp and my own interests. From that point, I've invited others into my life and accepted invitations to be a part of the lives of others based on how I want to spend my time. Life is short so as a recovering person I want to have experiences and people who add value to my life not detract from. I'm just that selfish. Program people are high on my connectiveness list. It doesn't matter where each of us is in our step work, Alanon is circular for me in that I never stop learning from you no matter how many times I go through the steps, how many posts here or meetings there. And my belief is that my higher power brings others into my at their will, as well as brings me into others lives for growth and lessons. I absolutely enjoy others and seek out new friendships, enjoy my long time friendships but I no longer cling to others as identifiers of who I am. My thinking and interests change I hope in positive ways. That attracts new people and situations. I've been disappointed at times when people have seemingly rejected me. When I like someone it can sting, feel personal. But I have done the same concerning others. My hp or their wanted us somewhere else. Sometimes it's a forever change, sometimes we reconnect but acceptance of what is can be a beautiful thing. It invites all sorts of possibilities to know ME more and draw closer to my higher power. When I keep this thinking in front of me, it helps me cope with disappointment of not being liked, not wanted and frees of the associated guilt that may arise from not liking or wanting some people in my life. Hp guides all my relationships, their beginnings and end. The slogan Let It Begin With Me can really keep me busy TT

David -

"Let's not be self-centered, but centered on self."

YES! Make perfect sense!