The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
today I went to work and thankfully the QB online crashed (yes, I am guilty of being glad) I was sooo tired from last nights drama, I hung out and taught the office mgr. who is a sweetheart some things and then left...went home and took a NAP...roommate was picking up her car and I just napped..........went to goodwill and found a car vac and cleaned out my car...then tidyed up the garage......mowed the back yard....but I ENJOYED doing all this
she came home and basically she is on very "serious" probation!!! Pastor, my dear pastor asked me if I could put her on probation with the understanding that THIS IS IT!!!!! because of my love and admiration for him and his support, I agreed, but this is IT!!!! probation and I explained to him that she must show significant and sustained good fruit or its OVER!!!! NO more negotiations...No more pleas for one more chance.....
IF she had ever showed any bad patterns like stealing or something which she is NOT, I would not be writing about her as she would be past tense
Lesson I am learning....I'm not black and white thinker any more, but I DO know when something is hopeless and to move on....I told pastor that I had very low expectations of this working, but its $$$ while she is here and it is needed with my jobs tanked due to virus
I am resting now, enjoying my solitude and can't wait for gyms to open AND my church....MAYBE some time to do my thing(s) will help me feel better as I wont' see her so much....AS LONG AS she leaves my stuff alone, except for the stuff that I have to share in fairness (dryer, washer, major appliances, and of course the furnishings in her room which I told her must be kept as clean as they were when she moved in)
I don't ask anyone to do anything that i would not do....We BOTH share in the cleaning of common areas and she leaves my other stuff alone and she can stay....but this IS a one month at a time basis....I told my pastor that and he said he wold support me 100% what ever happens moving forward.....
I'm OK now...I look forward to the good weather, gyms opening and hopefully the churches soon......I wonder...I just wonder how long we will have to refrain from hugging our recovery and church mates....Will life ever be the same??? I loved the hugs and affection I got from my church mates...my GF up the street and I trade hugs...As I recover, I see things differently....I never thought i would miss hugging till it was taken away by this virus....
God is love and this virus has caused me to find other ways to show it...a smile...a helping hand....a kind word..praise and validation of another....Coming here and supporting and validating my fellow travelers....I guess the hugs can wait.........
I wish I could gave put my roommate on probation. I did not have that option. I try to keep it positive with hin but it is really hard because he is really out there.
I still have some stuff at his house. I kive in a tiny studio apartment so I cannot bring everything back at the sane time
I can definitely relate to the sense of a need for your own space and time
I cut my hours back this week to accomodate all I have to do.
I am still on overwhelm. Moving is enough of a stressor. Moving on top of COVID is too much. Moving being sick, having to get another job is total overload
Now there will be a #new normal# everything is harder.
