The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
Today's author was trying to zip a removable lining back into their coat. The zipper would not work, no matter how hard they pushed it! Finally they realized they were trying to zip the lining's zipper into the coat's front zipper -- and once they got it lined up with the matching zipper, it worked. This story illustrates "Easy Does It." When we are trying so hard to force things to zip together -- to force a solution -- we may be blind to the easy and serene solution. The author says, "My life is more serene when I am not pushing to make myself fit somewhere I don't belong."
Today's Reminder: If my plans hit a snag today, I will step back for a moment and take a calm look at the situation before moving ahead.
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I've had experience trying to pound a square peg into a round hole -- and failing no matter how hard I pounded. When I think that my idea is the only way to solve a problem, and I keep pushing it, I just end up frustrated and exhausted -- and still with the same problem.
But how to get to the "Easy Does It" solution?
In my experience, if I sleep on it, or take a walk -- sometimes the easy solution comes to me. Or if I talk with a trusted friend about it, they might give me a helpful new perspective. Or I may just turn it over -- decide that it's not my problem to solve. Sometimes I get my breakthrough ideas in the shower -- and now that I recall, that's where I had the idea to get to my first Al-Anon meeting.
I hope you all have a chance to take it easy today.
Thank you Freetime for your service, and this timely reminder!!!
One of my qualities is that I am a very determined person. IF I feel I can effect change, I will stick with it, until it happens!! So I can be very good at finding solutions, working puzzles, untying knots (LOL). However, it can have a darker side, that I now recognize. Today's reminder is great... it helps me to realize that sometimes I need to come to realization that whatever situation I am in, it may be a "Square peg in a round hole" type of situation!!
I have found the beauty of "The Pause" as well, Freetime!! With Al-Anon, I have learned how to find my inner voice when I take that walk, or sleep on it, or contemplate in the rainlocker!!
Enjoy Friday everyone! I am so looking forward to the weekend... no plans of course, but spending quiet time in my yard, tending to the new spring growth is going to give me the strength to face the next work week!!
I hope you all find you JOY and embrace it!!
&
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"The wolf that thrives, is the one you feed." - Cherokee legend
"Hello, sun in my face. Hello you who made the morning and spread it over the fields... Watch, now, how I start the day in happiness, in kindness." Mary Oliver
Thanks FT for your service and for both above shares. I love the slogan "Easy Does It" and I used it this morning! My difficult brother is pushing me to do something I have no intention of doing, but I found myself feeling anxious and trying to figure out how to respond to him. I did some deep breathing and on the in breath, I took in HP. On the out breathe, I let my brother go. I did this several times and it calmed me down. Using this slogan means finding ways to give myself a break, or get a grip, and basically, finding an easy route to a problem. My sponsor helped me learn to stop trying to force solutions. So I was frantically trying to figure out how to handle this brother situation and how quickly I could respond to him. I've decided I'm talking to my other reasonable brother this afternoon, and when the timing is right for me, I will email the difficult brother. Easy Does It means exploring solutions to make my life better. And that leads me to serenity. Lyne
Good morning all and happy Friday. Thank you Freetime for your service and the daily. Thanks to all for your shares/ESH. I too am reasonable good at problem-solving! I was one who would sit and study a problem while considering a multitude of solutions, even consult as a Process Expert! So - when this disease took over my house, created extensive chaos/drama in me and in my home, I really, really, really wanted to 'assess, correct, implement'...
It did not work 'well' - in spite of my best efforts. I am really grateful that Al-Anon gave me tools to try different methods for solving 'problems'. I even now can identify what is a real problem vs. what's a perceived problem and Easy Does It is a great tool to 'slow my roll'. One really important thing I've come to appreciate is time does actually resolve many things, with no need for mind-space/energy from me!
I try to keep serenity and joy as my daily number one goal. As I go about my day, I consider that often simply because I prefer 'this' to before. Easy Does It helps me put the breaks on, to consider best next steps and/or if I even want to engage!
Enjoy this day - we've got warmer spring temperatures but tons of rain....everything is growing, greening and sprouting! (((Hugs)))
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Practice the PAUSE...Pause before judging. Pause before assuming. Pause before accusing. Pause whenever you are about to react harshly and you will avoid doing and saying things you will later regret. ~~~~ Lori Deschene
I love the imagery of this reading! The visualization helps me to think through where I belong and where I do not belong, whether I'm trying to force a solution or not Like P&P, I'm a great puzzle solver, fixer, improver. But sometimes, my talents aren't welcome or needed. Especially in large groups, I've found it helpful to watch how things are done, and whether it is working for the majority of people, and thinking long and hard about whether my "fix" is even necessary.
It's a foggy, rainy day here. But that brings the promise of spring flowers soon!
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Skorpi
If you are depressed, you are living in the past. If you are anxious, you are living in the future. If you are at peace, you are living in the present. - Lao Tzu
"This story illustrates "Easy Does It." When we are trying so hard to force things to zip together -- to force a solution -- we may be blind to the easy and serene solution. The author says, "My life is more serene when I am not pushing to make myself fit somewhere I don't belong.""
Oh Freetime, this could not have come at a better time for me....I was trying to "zip" a roommate that was just NOT a fit...Finally I accepted it last night...I was blinded by financial fear and not trusting my HP that I'll be OK....and yes, today I am at peace, seeing the truth for what it is...I am good...She is good....We just don't "zip" up together....
Thanks (((freetime)) for your service and for yours and everyone's shares. LOL C2C certainly used the right example for forcing outcomes. I can't tell you how many times I've done that with zippers. My old response use to be continuing to force it, worsening the situation by getting the zipper stuck and then yanking it and saying something like "Grrrrrrrrrrrrr, stupid coat!!!" LOL I blamed the coat!
Now I know when that happens, it's because I'm not paying attention or I just made a mistake and really either is just fine. I mean it's not the end of the world now is it But my impatience comes from not taking my time, maybe poor planning has me running late.
If I'm feeling a sense of imbalance, I can take a deep breath, center myself and try again. TT
-- Edited by tiredtonite on Friday 24th of April 2020 03:26:53 PM
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Surround yourself with people and elements that support your destiny, not just your history.
Thanks, Freetime and y'all- I was always so serious- and had trouble seeing the fun side of anything.
I see the reason for this now, as i complete the steps. Not my fault- just my circumstances.
Got up early this morning- and watched the clips of the haka [war dances] from the Maori Battalion.
Floods of tears- but an improvement onto last generation- who were staunch and many who got thoroughly shickerooed on Anzac day.
At 6 a.m. our street went out and heard the bugle and said the ode. Thankfully it was a warm morning. I put a lantern out in the middle of the road and a bowl full of poppies.
I grieve mostly for my two uncles who killed themselves- and never got to have mokopuna [grandchildren] dangled on their knees.
I suppose, deep down I declare war on addiction. I grew up as an angry young man- and now ah is an angry old man!
But thankfully my anger, and my grief does not spill over on all of my relationships any more.
Easy does it- is a good theme... a good lesson... ...
I went to a zoom meeting after that- and that was steadying...
...very stark, actually- seeing others sitting in their own homes. Probably more intimate and evocative that a F2F meeting?
Pleased today to see our group finances being dealt with- and thanks to the admins! And a private donor too!
The sort of world my rellies fought for... thanks! ...
"My old response use to be continuing to force it, worsening the situation by getting the zipper stuck and then yanking it and saying something like "Grrrrrrrrrrrrr, stupid coat!!!" LOL I blamed the coat!"
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((((((((((((TT))))))))))))) I had a laugh at your comment here....BOY could I relate!!!! I did the same things.....
& 
Like P&P, I'm a great puzzle solver, fixer, improver. But sometimes, my talents aren't welcome or needed. Especially in large groups, I've found it helpful to watch how things are done, and whether it is working for the majority of people, and thinking long and hard about whether my "fix" is even necessary. 
But my impatience comes from not taking my time, maybe poor planning has me running late.
Thanks, Freetime and y'all- I was always so serious- and had trouble seeing the fun side of anything.
...