Our dad had lots of reasons to go to the pub- a birthday, to "wet the baby's bottom" which was a birth. or 'the see a man about a dog'. The classic was when he was leaving home- "no wonder i have to go to the pub- just look at this B##### place!"

So i don't really need to have a reason to share. I need to kick back, sometimes, relax.

And I always wanted to do this at home- not at some other place- a form of escape.

I always took up voluntary work My mum was good at this- in a rural community. There wasn't a lot of money around- and everyone had to pitch in. To make food- the make fun- and to bring up kids. hand me downs and hand me ups- were the order of the day.

When moved to the city- I had planned to go to the junky crash-pads. I had been kicked out of home- for sticking up for my kid sister- same old story.

But my journey north was broken. My uncle and aunt had a store, were anglicans and went to the old Maori church on the hill. They made a place for me on their porch and found me a summer job in the laundry of the neighbouring mental hospital.

When I moved into the city- I found out that five of my cousins were in brothels- or on their way in- at a pretty young age.That was horrifying... and i was only too well aware of the rites passage these young men must have faced. There were four of them and four of us. We bunked up at the farm- topped and tailed in two old bunks. They were carefree days- and were blissfully unaware of the addiction that swirled around us.

I studied at night on my porch- and roamed the sandy streets of the fishing village in the weekends. I did not appreciate it at the time- but it was a welcome break from fruit picking- out of the hot burning sun.

I went to university four times and passed once. As i did the steps this fact emerged. At school and in our town i more or less read the libraries dry. The university library was a true aladdin's cave! The university had a lovely big shower in it- another major asset. I joined the street kids, and carried a bar of soap and a towel into the bowels of academia.

Through friend I got an audience with the cities hebrew and gay patron of the arts. We drank out of a tiny cup of coffee and ate cakes the size of a thumb-nail. The upshot of this was I got some verse published in a national journal. The first one was based around a railway gang.

We used to stand out there in groups of 12 or 18, with crowbars pulling track.

Me? I dealt with the '70's trying to be a community worker. Trying to be a part of the solution. I saw the first heroin come into that southern city- and a lot of other stuff.

I suppose it would be fair to say I learned how to manage well intending liberals. At the big old port I became an anglican. The vicar was a sneaky drinker- and subsequently shot himself. everywhere i looked I seemed to be immersed in a messy form of addiction! I lost two uncles to suicide in this era.

The upshot of this community work and involvement is that current i am an admin in a mega group. Not Alanon- but closely allied. I face my baptism of fire last night- with a conflict. I used my gut and acted quickly. This morning- all was well- and three people seemed to be in a safe space. One of those three, was me!

I don't think anyone could do group work online- unless they had been through f2f groups. Knowing the moves, and the culture. Having picked up a bit of the jargon, for starters...

...I knew the rough of the city streets. I always say that i was a gang member! A railway gang- and couple of shearing gangs. Rough enough. I bit like being in the army, I suppose.

as I write the world is in the middle of a major crisis... not as bad as others I have heard of... but horrific close up.

I am so pleased to be here. So happy to have moved from compassion to a state of empathy. A pretty universal state for me!

He piko te taniwha, te pito he tangata.  [Tradition 2.b.] Our leaders are but trusted servants- they do not govern.

As with the compassion-empathy idea... ...with tradition 2 I always think control vis a vis management.

Working with others is a dream job!!!