Hello MIP! 

Like many others, I'm at home for a while - ended up with some flu-like symptoms, and supposed to stay home and isolate. Thankfully, I'm already starting to feel better, I know many others aren't as lucky. 

My Courage to Change book is in my office at work, and I can't get to it. Checked the local library, and they do not have a digital edition. In such cases, I'm thankful to the folks at Today's hope: https://www.todays-hope.com/todays-sharing.html They post daily readings from Alanon's magazine The Forum. I've often counted on this resource when I've been traveling or away from home, and now, I'll count on it again while at home.  Sharing here in case anyone else is in the same boat. 

Today's reading from Today's Hope starts with a quote from Sandra Litter: "Making prompt amends is the fresh air of each new day." 

Each new day, according to the author, brings us a new hill to climb and a new view from the top. When we take the time to reflect about our daily journeys is a challenging adventure in self discovery. When we look down from the top of the hill, we can see our past trials and difficulties. This allows us to let go of our old baggage and gives us a bright window to open onto tomorrow. One tool we can use is a daily inventory - honestly acknowledging the things we have done or said to hurt ourselves or others allows us to make amends, let go of regret, make room for the love and comfort of our HP, and begin each new day with a clean slate. 

Today's Reminder: "I am no longer a victim of life; I am a survivor with choices." 

Today's Quote: "As with expeditions into the wilds when we have endured storms and rapids, cold and sleet, and sometimes lack of food, it is ultimately the good things we remember, not the bad." ~ Sigurd F. Olson

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Like many others, I am sure, I am "sheltering in place" with the primary alcoholic in my life. Thankfully, she is in recovery, and I am grateful that I do not have to face the "how can the bars be closed" panic, or the panic buying of alcohol, and the increased consumption because we are "Working" remotely and "no one will know" (All things I have experienced during snow storms in the past.)  I still DO have the opportunity to polish my AlAnon tools and ensure that I am using them daily. The disease of alcoholism is cunning, and does manage to take over sometimes. Last night, for example, was a great time to use my tools after AW had been out driving around and picking up corned beef for herself, as we entered our third  round of "Why did you make fish? I said I was getting us corned beef!" accompanied with staggering and dropping containers of liquid on the floor. Instead of answering again "You said YOU were going to get YOU corned beef, and I said that I needed to cook the fish before it went bad and that I did not want corned beef" I said "Do you really want to do this again? We have already had this conversation twice since you got home." I didn't ask about the staggering or lack of coordination, I didn't ask about the inability to hold a conversation or share with me why she was upset about communication from her employer. Maybe she was drinking, maybe she wasn't. In any case, it is her business, and I decided I didn't need to involve myself in it. I just ignored the behavior I didn't like, carried on with my work (a late night because campus decided it would close for the rest of the semester), and breathed a sigh of relief when she started snoring on the sofa immediately after throwing her container away outside. 

That was one heck of a hill to climb. And now, looking back, I see that I acted the best I could, I de-escalated without buying into delusions, and I had a calm evening. I stayed firm in my truth, and did not cause emotional harm to myself.  Just a few years ago, I would not have seen that I had choices available to me. And I'm grateful to the Alanon program, and this online community especially, for helping me to understand that I am a survivor with choices.  

I hope you are well!