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Hi, I was reading many of the sharings before, about the effects of Alcoholism and the Effects. I found them all relative to how I feel when the Disease raises it's ugly head in my life, and how it effects me. It can always get me through one of my Loved Family Members.I have both the active Phase, and the Ism's, in there with them, like a lot of other people, for that I know that I am not alone, with this journey.
At the moment, I am facing, risking, losing another much loved members of my Family, simply because,I need to be honest, and I know the risk is,that I lose them. Also,because I look after myself, today, I simply can't watch again, another member of my Family being neglectful with how they are raising their Children. I know honestly, that I am going to say, that I simply can't come down and see you, because I can't stand watching of what is happening, and how you are living. It is going to hurt like Hell, as I love with all of my Heart, and I have a little one, who I don't see often, saw him recently, I was able to get to know him, and for him to know me. The other 2 older ones, know me really well.
I have been in Alanon a long time, I know I can't change another, rescue, save, anyone, I haven't the power. I am getting older, and have gone through things like this in most of my Family, and I have seen, heard what I have, it doesn't get any easier for me, to deal with and work my Programme. It takes so much out of me now, and takes time for me to work myself through all of the pain,for I know, the Disease, Effects are well and truly alive within my Loved ones. At the moment,I know all what Alanon is saying to me, but I am simply Hanging On, and working through my Pain. Even my Faith gets tested, but I know that when that happens, I need more of it, not less. I know that I will get through it, but I have to go through the feelings process first.
(((Wendy))) - love and light to you and so very sorry for the way the disease is affecting you/your family today. I can relate and try as best I can to go just One Day at a Tim and detach. It really is absolutely horrible to see the disease destroy those I love and I am constantly reminded how powerless I am. (((Hugs))) to you - prayers and positive thoughts too my friend!
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Practice the PAUSE...Pause before judging. Pause before assuming. Pause before accusing. Pause whenever you are about to react harshly and you will avoid doing and saying things you will later regret. ~~~~ Lori Deschene
It is hard to accept that we are powerless over this disease. Please take care of yourself.
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"The wolf that thrives, is the one you feed." - Cherokee legend
"Hello, sun in my face. Hello you who made the morning and spread it over the fields... Watch, now, how I start the day in happiness, in kindness." Mary Oliver
Thank you Poppies and Posies for your lovely words, I am trying to get through this latest experience, doing the best that I can. I only hope and Pray that I don't have to make that decision of saying how I feel, because I know what I am dealing with, I also know that if I go back in there, it isn't going to be nice. They can get very angry, and defensive, I feel in my heart that it won't end well. It's not that I am projecting, it's I face reality of the situation and with whom I am dealing with.
I have already lost 3 Grand Children,2 Great Grand Sons, because of this Disease. The first ones, I haven't seen for 6 years, because I risked, and challenged their parents over the way they treated their Children. It was bad, and I couldn't stand by and see the effects of what they were doing to my beloved 3. I knew that I was risking losing them altogether,but I loved them enough to try. My 2 Great Grandsons, one who I have never seen, live with their father, my Grand Son, who has Drug and Alcohol issues, the reason he stopped them from seeing me, is I make him uncomfortable. I got too close to him, talking about AA, Alcoholism, Drug Abuse, he knows I know. So I am a threat.
I know that whenever I challenge the Disease, where ever it comes from, and with whom, it isn't going to like it. It is going to react. Even with my Recovery, it can challenge me,but when I see it in my Loved ones, that is when it hurts me, especially when I know that they don't have recovery. I also wanted to say, that I love your caption of the Wolves, as I know all about that story, and I try to live by it each Day. 'Which Wolf do I want to Feed'.
Thank you for being here for me, it means a lot to me,I don't feel so alone.
Thank you for your lovely words, I want to ask you something, so I am going to send you a Private Message. Just wanted to let you know there is one their.
(((Wendy))) - been a bit distracted - got it and sent you a response. Love and Light!
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Practice the PAUSE...Pause before judging. Pause before assuming. Pause before accusing. Pause whenever you are about to react harshly and you will avoid doing and saying things you will later regret. ~~~~ Lori Deschene
My younger sister brought up.a.son.who is.now a virulent alcoholic. Nothing I could do.or.say would have changed that
I spoke recovery to my sister once then we lost touch
Admittedly my sister went from a total wreck to a functioning alcoholic as an adult
I have a cousin whose whole life is unmitigated chaos
My own life without alcoholism has been an absolute roller coaster so I keep.out of the way of alcoholics
Yet they still affect me. I am currently staying with a friend who is without doubt an alcoholic. I lived with him 3 years ago. It is a big testament to my program that I am living with him now without being a basket case. The only thing I can say is that I work real hard on my program
Nevertheless for me staying with him is a watershed. It was the right place for me to go. I need better choices. In the future the opt out is not to go stay somewhere that is so uncomfortable .
Being around any alcoholic is uncomfortable. They do not make the best choices. These days I do not take their choices personally
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