The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
My dream was to be a good example of Alanon recovery... ...at the moment I am looking at the example Betty gave us. REding her recent posts- on the message board, the Steps forum and on the MIP business board.
I am sure there is a way forward. As far as Betty is concerned...
Yesterday I went to a memorial service, and burying of ashes, of a neighbour. She had died late last year, at the age of 102, in a northern city...
...I wept when I got the invitation. Tears of joy and gratitude. To be accepted in. To be involved. I had known P. well, as a friend and neighbour. And H. her husband too. Their home and farm had been flooded out- by a hydro-electric dam. And we sold them 2 acres, on a corner of our property to resettle.
To have the opportunity to grieve, and to move, on is a gift.
It is one plank of our healing...
Sometimes I go for a drive round the valley- where i grew up... and sometimes I ride my mountain bike. It was the school bus route when I was a kid, going to school.
Five years ago I would have to push my bike up the hill. Now I can ride over it; using the gears, of course. Though I have gotten older, I am actually fitter.
I miss my mountain job. I had objected to weed-spraying the clover and other plants that helped to hold the irrigation race together...No satisfaction in making my job harder. The person who had taken my place, apparently broke his shoulder- and had to drop out. Sad for him- but grateful- because that might have bin me.
In the last five or six years- I have done a lot of study on C-PTSD. In doing my steps traditions and concepts I have learned to be kind to me. Improving my breathing has been a good exercise... and has resulted in better health and fitness.
My thinking has improved a lot. I can think well, much of the time. I realised that when my thinking improved- that i had a lot of catching up to do. But i was poised for this- waiting for the opportunity.
I was missing my Alanon resources. 18 months ago tried to start up a new meeting. I called meetings over a four week period- but there were no takers. In our district there are two large towns. And they have not had Alanon for decades. It was a wake-up call when I had to hand in our group's banners. Like the end of the line.
Anyway last week I went round to the Resource Centre- and found that I had left our box of tricks there. Including the pickle jar with $5 in it. I plan to take this along to our neighbouring group and hand it in.
I think I know why Alanon growth is so weak in our district. Don't need to rehearse the facts here. I found the answers in various readings of C2C, really. Not so much in the manuals.
This week i am focussing on the first part of Step 12. Going through a process of renewal. As much as being about letting go... letting go and Letting Go [d].
At one assembly I said that the outlook of our kids and grandkids had improved, because of my being in Alanon. One member said- "you can't say that!"
And i thought to myself- "I have just said that, and it is true."
In recent times I compared notes with one brother- who had never gone to Alanon- and there was a significant difference- as to how the kids had survived.
I lost one nephew to a drug overdose. Another is in active addiction.
Our kids aren't perfect- but i do see a significant improvement- in each generation.
Handing in the $5 is a reason to get along to a F2F meeting... and it helps to test and to reinforce the changes. Good stuff.
Thanks for the chance to share. Autumn is slowly reaching us, as the days shorten.
I am not working on the coast this coming week. I have some tasks around here helping to run our small business. Good, always to have something to get up for. ...
I think it is wonderful you are more fit today, than previously! I too, am working on a better physical me. I feel it will pay off, as I see everyday how my mother and father struggle with the frailities of their age! No, our children are not perfect. But I too, have seen an improvement in my son since I have been "working" Al-Anon principles.
Here in my part of the globe, the days are starting to get longer... tonight I will set the clocks to "Spring ahead" as Daylight Savings will now be in effect. I always struggle with the loss of an hours sleep, but I do so love the longer time able to spend outdoors! Spring is already here in SoCAL, and everything is budding out!
Thank you for your share, David! &
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"The wolf that thrives, is the one you feed." - Cherokee legend
"Hello, sun in my face. Hello you who made the morning and spread it over the fields... Watch, now, how I start the day in happiness, in kindness." Mary Oliver
Boy do/did I need to do my readings including both of your posts I am deeply grateful for the opportunities that HP leaves for me to find and use during and in my daily life...all of them and I feel the urgency to pass it on to others that might also like the gifts. My needs are fulfilled by others intentionally or mostly thru chance. If I keep an open mind...I will find help; thank you HP for keeping me supplied with all I can and do use. Mahalo to this my MIP family for doing the same...intentionally or not.
Al-Anon daily literature are gifts from lovers. ((((hugs))))
Hi David-As I read your post I could relate to the feeling of never fitting in, never being comfortable with others, and expecting to be rejected which may not have been the case in reality. In my freshman year of college my friends voted me the most sane member of our class. That was a sorry statement indeed!
As time goes on, and especially with program, I no longer care if I fit in. The person I want to be accepted by the most has become myself. And Betty hammered this in gently for several years, until I got. The next most important person I want to be accepted by is my son. And I must say he and I are doing a much better job of having our relationship, again, thanks to Betty who taught me to stop trying to force solutions.
So I thank you David for your share, and I am thanking Betty for the time she spent with me helping me along my healing journey. Lyne
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