The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
Today in many parts of the world, it is Leap Day. A day added to the Gregorian calendar (as well as other solar calendars) to "even it out." It is supposedly a day in which women can propose to men. It is considered unlucky to marry or have babies on this day. Also, there was an English tradition of '12 gloves.' This tradition stated that if a man refused a woman's proposal on this day, he had to pay her with 12 gloves... supposedly one pair of gloves a month to hide the shame of not being married!
I read these things about this day, and I laugh at some of the absurdity... I also applaud women trying to eek out a little power with the role reversal. As a kid, I think we treated it as "Backwards Day." In other words, everything you normally do, you don't. You try the opposite.
So let's put a Al-Anon Recovery spin on this day, shall we?
If you are obsessing over an addicted loved one... do something (anything) just for yourself. The more you consider it to be "selfish" the better!
If you are having trouble living Just For Today... each time you think of the future, or "What if?" stop and actually say these words: "I would like to thank my HP for the blessings that will come my way JUST FOR TODAY. I will concentrate on this day only, with an open heart."
IF the weather allows it, go outside. Connect with nature. Do not touch your cell phone (even if you have to give yourself a time limit if this gives you anxiety).
IF your addicted SO spews hateful nonsense at you, say something kind back (this may be the hardest thing, I know). If you normally engage the Krazy b/c you need to make them understand your POV, just tell them "You may be right" and then leave the room and do something (anything) to get your mind off of the exchange you just had. I found cleaning to work wonders in this situation - I kept my hands and mind busy, and my spouse wouldn't come near b/c he never wanted to get pulled into the work! LOL!
In short, Work your program today. Enjoy being "backwards." Enjoy treating yourself with kindness!
&
-- Edited by PosiesandPuppies on Saturday 29th of February 2020 11:37:09 AM
__________________
"The wolf that thrives, is the one you feed." - Cherokee legend
"Hello, sun in my face. Hello you who made the morning and spread it over the fields... Watch, now, how I start the day in happiness, in kindness." Mary Oliver
Thanks PnP for the daily, your service and your share! I would add one simple thing from my sponsor - if today brings you pain, confusion, uncertainty, also thank your HP (the God of your understanding) for the pain - as growth typically follows...
I've been to a meeting and we've got blessed spring like weather for today! I am headed to golf shortly. Grateful for the beautiful day and for the opportunity to spend time outside.
Make it a great one all - Love and Light always!
__________________
Practice the PAUSE...Pause before judging. Pause before assuming. Pause before accusing. Pause whenever you are about to react harshly and you will avoid doing and saying things you will later regret. ~~~~ Lori Deschene
PnP, I love the idea of "Do the opposite" on Leap Day -- or any day when what I've been doing has not worked. Thank you for sharing this. The examples you gave are so specific and helpful, and I love your gentle examples like setting a time limit on staying off the cell phone. What a great illustration showing how this is a gentle program.
What I am working on is your suggestion to "enjoy treating yourself with kindness." I can easily treat myself with kindness, but I need to improve on not feeling guilty and undeserving of self-kindness. Have a kind and guilt-free day
& 
