Hi y'all...  just a general share.Saturday morning here. Dark around the hills... autumn is on its way... a time for us to gather our garden fruits...

Our oldest grand-son J. had his 17th birthday yesterday... he has a girl-friend, who is 14.

One of my heroes, Brene Brown had eight grandparents for her two kids. Eight!. Our three oldest grandkids have six, thorough one mix and match family, that i am a part of.

So J. was sitting there- with his six grandparents... and all sorts of topics came up. I get on fairly well with my SO's ex. and his new wife is a real sweet.... so, thanks to Alanon and our Hp I have managed to steer clear of chaos and crisis.

So there was a general family chat-storm about this new development. which i think J. appreciated... the interest and attention! In my day- over 50 years ago nothing like this was ever discussed... in my youth the expectation was- the older car, the girlfriend... the engagement... etc etc leading up to the white picket fence and the mortgage. And a job-for-life thrown in for good measure!

So- it's early days.

The grand-kids are real sporty... which is a great asset... well it gives us, me and my SO and so... venues to get along to and yell at!

Youngest daughter texted yesterday- and want the trailer truck, and me later today to help her and her boss shift a tree each. Not the best time of the year to plant a cherry- but not my problem.

Our oldest daughter and actually my step-daughter has been a honey for years. She had this talk with me long ago- when she faced a crisis and mastered it. Over J. the oldest son... ...and so the bond is almost cemented in.

Youngest daughter had a lot of angst. Just like me, her dad had at her age!

i grind my teeth a little because Iz. was a devotee of a stateside TV agony aunt named Dr Phil!

So i get to be a dad, and a parent! 

The bane of older generation- when i was a kid was a theorist named Dr Spock! 

Not that I really knew how! Needed lots of peer support- which Alanon has given me consistently for 37 years!!!  ...

One of the healers here- and it really is is to know they i am being listened to. And that i am listening too- I am a part of conversations around here- which are relevant- and sometimes vital.

I am a part of the adult world. I can talk good adult stuff sometimes. My sharing is like money in the bank really. Because when I get stuck- I can draw on that- from people around me here. People, where we are getting to know each other well!

Some people come in here- with issues... and get lots and lots of attention- and input. With massively big threads, that can go on for weeks. A great strength, here to see people pitch in and share.

Some of our regular weekly shares, here, may only be read by three or four people... with one or two comments... ...but volume is not the point here. This is not Peyton place, or Dallas, any more... !!!!!

This group serves me very well here, because i have had years of F2F groups. I know the ropes, more or less. And I can picture you, as a member, as I share.

Slowly, over time I get to know the key members... and personalities loom out of the fog- that used to be my reality.

Nothing can match the joy I feel when I begin to sense the reality of another person, close by- who I can now regard, as an equal!

And this comes back to the birthday tea last night... three or four people are actually drinking... and it did not warrant attention, or even mention. They accept that i don't actually drink- and I am not bothered at all by their's.

My world view includes social drinking as normal... at least for other people. Hoorah!

This week i am going down to the coast- for the house painting season. The garage there is old- and needs a good coat of paint. I have worked out ways of using up old tins of undercoat and paint. In NZ our wet cold weather comes up from the south- so the south walls need the most attention- and the best paint cover. Under the eaves, and in a dark tree covered corner it doesn't matter so much!

I plan to stay in a tent. I could actually stay with the tenant... and he has offered. But I sense a boundary there... and choose the tent in the meantime...

"break down barriers and create safe healthy boundaries"...

Oh boy! Thanks for this chance to share... ... I may have turned the timer on the table over a couple of times...

...and I do need to get to face to face meetings too... and I do this close to home- in blocks of 4 or 5 meetings... because that suits... and I usually get asked to chair one of these meetings...

...all is well, so far...  ...thanks so much for listening...  ...