The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
An attitude of gratitude does change the mind-set over time. And maybe even the body chemistry, which is a bonus.
I used to say- "went from the paralysis of analysis to an attitude of gratitude." I used to formulate solutions in the thinking department- but had extreme difficulty putting this into action. I was surrounded by difficult people who were impossible to change.
I was fortunate to be a dad. It was a struggle. It was chaotic and conflicted at times.
I was able to break the generational bondage to alcoholism and addiction. My brothers and sister not so, really- and they did not have a programme.
My nephew died from a drug overdose in the house behind ours. I stood there, with my arm around his daughter as they bought the body out. My whole life I felt like i was surrounded by tragedy. That was made far worse, because my family system had no real idea of how to grieve.
I don't think I am smug. Nor am I really competitive. I am thinking of ways of packaging my Alanon experience- work out what worked best. Well, to just thinking- learning tract with poise and confidence. And the working out component I am able to achieve with group work- right here, in particular.
It comes down practise. I believe we all have the right to be wrong- sometimes. However else would we learn. But we can do this in an atmosphere, or love, trust and respect.
I think giving back- in a balanced way. My lodestar is Alanon Concept 4: "Participation is the key to harmony". This is both outward group harmony- but a deep personal sense of harmony. I think we can also call this 'the priceless gift of serenity'.
David, just love your description of how you moved from analysis paralysis to an attitude of gratitude!!
What a great way to say how you grew.
Yoga and meditation are large part of my life (helped me many years ago get through a very difficult divorce, when I had two small children to protect) and combined, now, with MIP and the Al Anon program, well I feel so grateful indeed to be able to give back.
So wise souls, leaving self behind
move forward,
and setting self aside
stay centered.
Why let the self go?
To keep what the soul needs.
Ursula K. Le Guin, Tao Te Ching
Thank you for Sharing {{HUGS}}
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"Forgiveness doesn't excuse bad behavior, but it
does prevent bad behavior from destroying your heart". ~ unknown
Debb, years ago, in Alanon someone said: "It's a selfish programme." I did not say anything- but I thought- not for me! I decided, there and then that I did not want to be self-centred, but centred on self. My personality was not properly formed. I had limits, some of them severe.
I go along to ACA, as well as Alanon... and I find it is like having two legs, or two arms. But the peer support is phenomenal... once we put ourselves into it. ...
I also am in complete uncontested agreement today as a fully convinced happy member of the Al-Anon Family Groups. I had to be taught and I had to experience when I got it and when I didn't. Mahalo to the old timers who had the willingness and ESH to present their programs how it worked and what it did for them. I practice gratitude period!! I don't like me, my life or anything else when I forget to.
Two days ago my wife came back from browse shopping for some of her needs and told me about how she was Attended to by people "Out there" the non-program legions that use to bend us out of shape all the time. She and I are "Noners" daily. She then told me 4 other gratitude stories from how she was treated by the IRS, DMV and such and I was elated by the gracious feelings. The next day without expectations we got more and what I learned was having the expectations meant that my ability to accept others for who they were was turned on and I could appreciate with gratitude 24/7.
I can and will continue to practice gratitude without waiting for some odd experience to turn it on. Mahalo Akua, Alanon, MIP (((hugs)))
Great topic David and great shares MIP family. I have (slow learner) finally figured out that if I start my day with gratitude and practice what's been suggested in the rooms of recovery, I have remarkable days! I am much more free from the obsessive mind I was gifted with - serves me well when I am doing projects! I have learned so, so many ways to practice gratitude, my attitude, my outlook, my actions. I am reminded each day by the God o my understanding that I truly am blessed with all my senses, my health, my home, food, transportation, etc. - my needs are met and I feel/am blessed!
Anytime I begin to consider my day, and my mind presents me with, "I have to ......" I am nudged by the voice of my sponsor in my mind suggesting instead, "I get to ....." I was never an naturally optimistic soul - it's been a conscious effort to focus on all that is good in my life vs. what needs improvement!
So, I get to exercise each day for my own mind, body and soul. I get to cook healthy meals for my own mind, body, soul, family. I get to shop for groceries, check on sick friends/family, wash clothes, dust and vacuum! I get to pray to a HP who loves me unconditionally. I get to practice patience with others who might be having a bad day and I get to be of service often. It doesn't take much to make me joyful as my past has included enough pain, worry, hardship, angst, loss, sorrow to last me 10 lifetimes.
When I am struggling, a hand-written gratitude list is a great tool. I also lean heavily into literature, spiritual music, meditation and action....Love and Light all!
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Practice the PAUSE...Pause before judging. Pause before assuming. Pause before accusing. Pause whenever you are about to react harshly and you will avoid doing and saying things you will later regret. ~~~~ Lori Deschene
Attitude of gratitude, being grateful, looking at one's gratitude list, and so on...is a great exercise. It is very good for mindset, perspective, and more of the like. However, if there is "something" -- it doesn't "handle what needs to be handled" nor does it "address what needs to be addressed" so to speak. I for one am aware of gratitude and have seen it lead to in-action, denial, etc. This does not and cannot happen to me as I live a life of recovery -- happy, healthy, grateful, etc.
But I love living an attitude of gratitude.
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Bo
Keep coming back...
God, grant me the serenity...to accept the PEOPLE I cannot change...the courage to change the ONE I can...and the wisdom to know it's ME...
An attitude of gratitude does change the mind-set over time. And maybe even the body chemistry, which is a bonus.
Thanks... 