The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
David, you will be great at chairing the meeting! Nervous is OK.
These days my thoughts about service are that it is good for me to "do something" but not to "do everything." I can be an example of service, but not take opportunities away from other people, who also need to do service for their own recovery.
(((David))) - I lead meetings quite often and what has worked for me is to take my HP along, open up the meeting, and then encourage participation. If that is lacking, literature is always a great go-to....I'm not sure if your meeting is open, structured, topic, literature, etc. If it's not defined, as the chair, you can certainly take along literature that you're comfy with, select a topic and pass the book around for others to refer, reflect, read from or share ESH from the heart....what I've come to find out is if I am doing more talking than others, I might be trying to control or force solutions. Silent pauses is OK (learned that in recovery) as they allow others to step up and participate! You'll do marvelous - just do you, as you are!
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Practice the PAUSE...Pause before judging. Pause before assuming. Pause before accusing. Pause whenever you are about to react harshly and you will avoid doing and saying things you will later regret. ~~~~ Lori Deschene
Intimacy is a key word for me- In=time-acy. Good timing. In Alanon we talk a fair bit about emotional intimacy. I saw that as exactly the same- as the emotional sobriety talked about in The Big Book of AA.
Common goals. Truth is- that I had already shared here before getting along to my F2F meeting.
I left home early- which I found was a good move. I spent one half hour taking with our Old Timer. We talked 19 to the dozen. Never missed a beat. Covered heaps of ground. This OT likes talking about higher power stuff- as I do. Much longer shares than a group could afford.
I had to rush off to open the meeting- and no-one came! In this neck of the woods- we often have toped up to a one person meeting. Someone will go along- in case a newcomer, or a visitor shows up.
Got home about 8. and got a phone call. A good little step 10. I could have texted home from the meeting- but he lives in the hills- a 40 minute drive.
HI David i AM SORRY THAT NO ONE WAS AVAILABLE FOR THE MEETING.
TO ANSWER YOUR QUESTION, I BELIEVE THE Steps WORKED, FOR ME by RESTORING MY Faith in a Power greater than myself. as i uncovered my negative attitudes,. i found that i always prayed for my will to be done and never accepted the negative happenings of my life. The steps taught me how to look at life and learn
I grew up in a very enmeshed family. Boundaries were blurred and reversed. My elder sister was given extraordinary power and prestige. One of the gifts if the program is that I am no longer living in thrall of my sister. My younget sister us obsessed with her .
Detachment has some great benefits.
When I was introduced to the concept of detachment I found it very frustrating
Now the more I can detach the calmer my life is
My family life no longer holds me spellbound in shame and hurt but it had been decades of gruelling work to get there
How do the steps work? I think as far as an explanation as to how the steps and alanon works -- as a program -- is sometimes considered a mystery. Is it re-learning, re-programming, or something of the like? Whatever it is...as we all know it to be...it works!!!
That said, how do the steps work as a practical application -- that, in my experience, is what recovery is all about...and to each their own. Everyone's recovery can be, can look, and could be different.
Some people incorporate the 12 steps into their lives daily. For others it becomes innate. Some concentrate and focus on certain steps. Some do....whatever it is. Different for each and every person perhaps.
I've heard different portrayals about the steps -- the first four steps were about getting your life back, the next four steps were about maintaining your life, and the last four steps were about living your life.
I've heard the first four steps are about restoring your life, the next four steps are about repairing your life, and the last four steps are about how to live your life.
I've found many of these portrayals very insightful, interesting, and representative of one's recovery.
For me, I've found the steps work because of what they became in my life and how they work in my life.
The steps, for me, have become a curriculum for living. It's how I live my life. They have become innate. They are practiced in all my affairs. They are a track for me to live, a path for me to live. They guide me, they help me, they, live within me, and I live within them.
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Bo
Keep coming back...
God, grant me the serenity...to accept the PEOPLE I cannot change...the courage to change the ONE I can...and the wisdom to know it's ME...