The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
the C2C reading for today, 12-17 speaks about holding resentments. It points out that once we start feeling anger and resentment about an incident we must learn new ways of viewing the happening so as to let go of the negative feelings the reading suggests that instead of feeling the resentment that we pray for the people we are angry with.and also suggests that the praying n that people change to suit us is a waste of time. acceptance is the key.
Good morning Betty and MIP family! Happy Tuesday to all. Thank you for your service and the daily Betty....I so, so agree - acceptance is the answer to all my problems today. I love, love, love what AA & Al-Anon say about acceptance:
Al-Anon (borrowed from AA):
"Acceptance is the answer to all my problems today.
When I am disturbed, it is because I find
some person, place, thing, or situation some
fact of my life unacceptable to me, and I can
find no serenity until I accept that person,
place, thing, or situation as being exactly the
way it is supposed to be at this moment.
Nothing, absolutely nothing happens in Gods
world by mistake; unless I accept life
completely on lifes terms, I cannot be
happy. I need to concentrate not so much
on what needs to be changed in the world
as on what needs to be changed in me and
my attitudes.
I must always remember:
Life is 10% what happens to me, and 90% how I choose to react to life. With a more positive attitude, my life will get better and better."
AA (pp 417, BB):
"And acceptance is the answer to all my problems today. When I am disturbed, it is because I find some person, place, thing, or situationsome fact of my life unacceptable to me, and I can find no serenity until I accept that person, place, thing, or situation as being exactly the way it is supposed to be at this moment. Nothing, absolutely nothing, happens in Gods world by mistake. Until I could accept my alcoholism, I could not stay sober; unless I accept life completely on lifes terms, I cannot be happy. I need to concentrate not so much on what needs to be changed in the world as on what needs to be changed in me and in my attitudes.
Shakespeare said, All the worlds a stage, and all the men and women merely players. He forgot to mention that I was the chief critic. I was always able to see the flaw in every person, every situation. And I was always glad to point it out, because I knew you wanted perfection, just as I did. A.A. and acceptance have taught me that there is a bit of good in the worst of us and a bit of bad in the best of us; that we are all children of God and we each have a right to be here. When I complain about me or about you, I am complaining about Gods handiwork. I am saying that I know better than God."
I reflect on acceptance often, each day, one day at a time as it truly is what keeps me centered and moving forward! Enjoy your day MIP family - find and keep your joy!
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Practice the PAUSE...Pause before judging. Pause before assuming. Pause before accusing. Pause whenever you are about to react harshly and you will avoid doing and saying things you will later regret. ~~~~ Lori Deschene
Thank you Betty for your service, and Iamhere for some ESH on this topic.
ACCEPTANCE is indeed the key. I have learned the sooner I ACCEPT reality, the sooner I can figure out what is acceptable and what is not acceptable to ME. And then my friends, comes the best part... I UNDERSTAND that I do NOT have to accept the unacceptable!
GOLDEN!
My JOY today was being woke by my super affectionate kitties!! What does your JOY look like today?
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"The wolf that thrives, is the one you feed." - Cherokee legend
"Hello, sun in my face. Hello you who made the morning and spread it over the fields... Watch, now, how I start the day in happiness, in kindness." Mary Oliver
Thank you Betty for your service and for all the great shares. Since I live with and am still married to my A, every day is a challenge. I use my tools daily and often recite step 3. I must accept my situation as I choose to continue this relationship. Acceptance is key! Resentments creep up all the time and I must let go and let God. Lyne
Thank you Betty and for all the other great shares. Anger, resentment and finally acceptance.
I actually think letting go of resentments has taken me the longest since becoming a member of Alanon. I could easily and happily(!) recite an endless list of who/what and why I was still angry over something. I could replay a scene that happened 20 years and still plot passive-aggressive revenge ( I am not proud of this ). I slowly came to realize that resentments were only hurting me.....I finally took that it and "accepted" it. The other person was merrily living their life and I was still burning over some stupid slight. When I was able to feel and then release hurts quicker, it became easier to accept events in general and then merrily work on living MY life.
Ellen - thank you for sharing your ESH. I can relate. I finally figured out that keeping those resentments close meant that I gave up my serenity/peace. There are still times that resentments come up - but mostly I understand and accept that they are my feelings for losing "the dream"... not really the reality. And like you said, "they" were merrily living their life, while I was busy stewing!
&
__________________
"The wolf that thrives, is the one you feed." - Cherokee legend
"Hello, sun in my face. Hello you who made the morning and spread it over the fields... Watch, now, how I start the day in happiness, in kindness." Mary Oliver
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