The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
The December 13 reading in ODAT tells about a someone who came to Al-Anon in despair, really worked the program, made friends, gained serenity, and achieved a better life. Then it asks the question: Does this person have an obligation to the group, the fellowship, and to newcomers who need help?
The answer given is No: there is no requirement to pay back the benefits received from Al-Anon. But the person owes an obligation to himself or herself -- to continue in growth by giving to others what he/she has received.
Today's Reminder: Sharing enriches my life. Even when I serve the group as an officer, or do the small chores at meetings, it is wholesome therapy. I have a need to comfort and guide the troubled newcomer, because it gives me new insight into my own still faulty attitudes.
What an amazing page! The counter-intuitive turns out to be true!
When I first came to Al-Anon, and then benefited so much from it, I was SO INCREDIBLY GRATEFUL that I decided to serve my first home group in whatever ways I could, to make sure it would be available to newcomers and so I could work out my gratitude by paying it forward. And that group eventually faded away, despite my best efforts -- a great lesson in powerlessness. I still continue in service, contribute to other meetings, and try to share recovery with others individually. And I hope I may have helped a few people in one way or another. But the truth is, the person I have helped most is myself.
Each service that I do enriches me, gives me more insight, keeps me busy, keeps me practicing what I have learned so my Al-Anon skills don't deteriorate. It's true, we don't require anyone in Al-Anon to do service, or to contribute to the 7th tradition -- everyone is welcome whether they do those things or not. So the miracle is, it keeps going even though we do not enforce it, and I get out of it much more than what I put into it.
I'm lucky that I have a sponsor who insisted that if I wanted to work with her I must participate in service, as I'm one of those people who otherwise would avoid service - or at least rather "larger" service roles beyond helping set up the meeting because I felt self-conscious and like I wasn't "experienced" enough in the program or had not been in it long enough - fearing I'd mess something up or offend someone.
Due to her encouragement and the encouragement of others, I actually became a GR my first year in the program and eventually moved on to other service roles in district and area, as well as group roles. And I'm glad I have that experience - it's invaluable as it also becomes another safe place for me to learn to practice my tools. I've sat in a few assembly planning meetings, for example, where it was really important that we were putting principles before personalities. Very different from my household where it was always a clash of wills that turned into personal attacks.
I now gratefully give back to the program and feel odd not taking on some kind of a service role.
Thanks for your service FT. I remember when my first anniversary was rolling around, I volunteered to lead for the month. I was so grateful for program. I was still in a significant amount of pain, and serenity was a long way off, but I wanted to give back for all I was receiving. And I really dislike public speaking and being the center of attention. I chair meetings now on a regular basis. Our group is not large and not everyone wants to lead. I'm grateful for all folks who take a turn. It's a pleasure to walk into a meeting under any circumstances, Lyne
Thank you Freetime for your service and the daily. Thanks to all for your ESH and shares. What I know is that service is never required nor is anyone obligated yet I am continuously amazed that when service is offered in my groups, we never go without. I do believe that in giving away what has been shared with me, I am creating more space in me for continuous learning/growing.
We often say in these parts that in recovery, you're either moving forward or going backwards. There's no real holding still. I know for me I enjoy being of service and rarely say No, unless I just simply can't! Happy Friday all - spent a great day (December...no less) on the golf course with 3 other lovely ladies! We had a great time even though the course wasn't working as we wanted it to....based on weather, no more for a while so we also shared quick Christmas hugs!
Find and keep your joy folks - however that works for you!
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Practice the PAUSE...Pause before judging. Pause before assuming. Pause before accusing. Pause whenever you are about to react harshly and you will avoid doing and saying things you will later regret. ~~~~ Lori Deschene
