The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
I'm curious what this slogan looks like for you. What does letting go and giving your will and life over to the care of your HP mean to you? Do you have any favorite passages from our CAL that sum this up for you perfectly?
I'm going to be leading a meeting soon and thought I'd like to touch on the topic Let Go and Let God, as that's what I'm currently feeling at the moment.
Maybe it's just hormones, but the last week or so I've just been feeling like I'm tired. Tired of orchestrating my life.
I think often I get into this thinking trap that inevitably excludes my HP from my life. It can range from anything like my relationships, to my job, to my goals and aspirations, even to working my program. Somehow, I always end up thinking it's all up to me and I'm the one making all the pieces fall where they do.
All of last year, for example, I feel like I've been "working at" getting my art out into the world. "Working at" marketing myself. "Working at" bringing interested buyers to my work. Why? Because of debt. Because I want to increase my income because my current job, while it pays well, doesn't bring in enough money to help me pay my debt off as fast as I'd like. But also because I start "shoulding" all over myself - I "should" own a home by now. I "should" have X amount of dollars saved already to make retirement enjoyable when I'm ready for it.
This all drops me back into that "I'm not enough" trap. And definitely fear is in there, as well.
At the same time, I feel like this last year truly has seen me grow in leaps and bounds spiritually. I do feel like I've grown closer to my HP, and I've been asking God into more and more parts of my life, and I'm feeling like this tiredness I'm experiencing now is a nudge to get me to turn more things over.
I was talking to my sponsor yesterday and told her basically the same thing. And mostly it's just that for the remainder of this month and year... and wow... decade... I'm just ready to put everything on the back burner, which means giving EVERYTHING over to God. Listening to my intuition and being gentle with myself and allowing myself to rest and not push or "have to".
I just want to glide through this time period with little or no planning and "doing". Especially this holiday season which gets so filled with lists and parties and activities. I'm also listening to what feels right for me and allowing myself a break or a pass. Christmas cards...? Nope. Not sending any this year, except to one person whom I'd told to expect something from me. Why? Because Christmas cards right now feel like a big "HAVE TO" project for me. I don't feel excited about doing them, so... I'm not going to do it this year. Maybe next year instead. And if I want to send someone a card, I think perhaps sending something off-season might be more meaningful anyway.
A couple friends hold a white elephant gift exchange. I've been going the last couple years, but this year... nope. Not going. Not because I don't enjoy these people. Their house does get filled to the brim with happy, joyful people. But I've come to admit that I really detest while elephant gift exchanges. My core competitive nature has never grown up and I am first to admit that I am a sore loser. And I hate it if I find a great gift and it gets taken away from me and I get sullen if I get stuck with a truly heinous gag gift. Attachments much? Yep. But this is why the majority of the time you don't see me participating in competitive things because I know how I get and I choose to stay clear of those things that trigger that behavior in me.
My art and trying to sell it? God, I'm giving this to you, because this desire to have it bring money in for me has made me forget why I do art in the first place - because I love to do it and it's meditative for me. I'm going to stop listening to all those well-meaning friends and acquaintances who see my art and say "You should sell your work!"
Should I? Really? Hmmm. Let's see what God has planned instead, shall we?
This taking a step back may fall into my overall goals for 2020. I usually pick a theme or word for each year and it keeps feeling like that word is "Release". Give all these grasping desires over. Stop stirring the pot and let God keep an eye on it for a while.
So there's my long-winded gab about Let Go and Let God.
I would love to hear your takes on how you let go in your life.
Thanks for reading my long share.
-- Edited by Aloha on Monday 9th of December 2019 02:43:29 PM
I like the slogan and try to practise it. I think I feel most for people who aren't believers- and try to make concessions for non-believers so they will feel included in the programme. That may sound blunt- but it is an issue i want to work on in the New Year. That is finding new ways of reaching out to others. Great to read your hopes and dreams for the New Year, Aroha. ...
I can relate to your thought provoking share. I am also in a similar place with letting go and sometime I let go in a way that sees me abandon parts of my life when they are too difficult but I take it back. My fears and worries especially. It seems to me it's a step 3 slogan and I'm in step 9 and 10 at the moment and step 3 is becoming much clearer. Its surprised me how the first 3 steps are cleared then further up I go. I want to get to the stage where I give it all up to God and I trust that it's all working out perfectly even if I dont judge it as such. My relationship with God has become much more important to me and I feel the slogans and steps are the path to this abundant source of help and guidance. I'm excited to keep on and have more revealed. What a journey x
Great share Aloha! I love Let Go and Let God.....I truly do try to start each day with my HP and then do all that I can to stay in this day, and not beyond. Easier said than done yet I am a calmer, lighter person when I do! As a part of my morning prayer, I pray the prayer of St. Francis. I've always liked it simply because we sang it when I was in church choir many, many years ago. As I go about my day, I talk with my HP often/always. It never stops and instead of looking at what I have to do, I change my words to what I get to do...
For me, letting go and letting God is about using any/all tools we got to use my will for service and trust God's will for me. I spent so much of my life trying to be perfect, trying to be right, trying to be liked, etc. that today, I am just focused on being authentic. I spend more time with my ears, eyes, heart, mind open and my mouth closed. I'm amazed how much flows into 'me' from my HP when I just get out of the way!
Letting go and Letting God for me is the summation of my recovery. I practice, practice, practice what's suggested in our program. I choose to value myself and my choices and trust what happens is part of the master plan. I treat others with kindness, compassion and service and really limit my expectations. I guess ... my point is it's not so much a 'one and done decision/action' for me; instead it's the daily choice to face life with gratitude, grace and an open mind trusting in that power greater than I that's brought me this far.
At any point I feel complacent or discontent, I'm quick to talk with my sponsor, and others to change things up! I am one that does best with a routine and slight changes/tweaks to my daily approach works wonders for my mind/imagination. I do believe that humility serves me well, allowing me to be always in a state of learning, and very content to be a part of instead of a part from.
Thanks for the lovely share - I have a friend who sews hand-made gloves/mittens from vintage/antique wool sweaters! Like you, she's very creative (I can't even draw a circle). I've helped her set up an online store and she's having fun with it. She did go through a moment of pure stress when we began ... we laughed hard when we realized we were supposed to be having fun and instead were working too darn hard! To thine own self be true helps me greatly too - if I'm not feeling it, I don't do it! (((Hugs)))
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Practice the PAUSE...Pause before judging. Pause before assuming. Pause before accusing. Pause whenever you are about to react harshly and you will avoid doing and saying things you will later regret. ~~~~ Lori Deschene
My fVORITE SLOGAN wHEN i DECIDE TO lET GO AND LET GgD. I STOP WORRYING ABOUT AN ISSUE STOP TRYING TO CHANGE THE OUTCOME AND SIT BACK AND PRAY TRUSTING THAT HP WILL ACT
This truly is a daily thing. Maybe a change in my morning prayer might be a breath of fresh air. I use the third step prayer, plus I've started to do another prayer that ends with "Change me into one who can fully love, forgive, and accept myself so I may carry your light without restriction. Let everything that needs to go, go. Let everything that needs to come, come. I am utterly your own. You are me. I am you. We are one. All is well." I do feel that prayer does help me release - it's saying I'm good with whatever God brings into my life or removes from my life.
I do like the St. Francis prayer - I shared a couple months ago that I attended a retreat where each meeting was focused on a segment of the prayer and it was wonderful.
I think I feel most for people who aren't believers- and try to make concessions for non-believers so they will feel included in the programme. That may sound blunt- but it is an issue i want to work on in the New Year. That is finding new ways of reaching out to others. Great to read your hopes and dreams for the New Year, Aroha.