The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
In today's reading from C2C, the author reflects on past decision making. Prior to AlAnon, many of us learned to make decisions based on our feelings, as if feelings were facts. Part of the author's Al-Anon recovery is learning that feelings are not facts. Humans are complex, fascinating, and have a wide range of emotions, experiences and thoughts. When the author embraces that they are a wealth of contradictions, all feelings can be valued without allowing those feelings to dictate actions. Today, the author can feel anger toward someone and still love them. They can feel fear, and still move forward. They can experience sadness, and be confident that they will be happy again.
Today's Reminder: Today I am learning to embrace my complexities and contradictions and to be grateful for the richness they bring.
Today's Quote: "Life, for all its agonies ... is exciting and beautiful, amusing and artful and endearing ... and whatever is to come after it - we shall not have this life again" Rose Macaulay
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Like the author, I have been known to let my emotions dictate my actions at time. Fear especially is an emotion that rules actions more often than I would like. But fear isn't fact, and I am learning than when I face my fear (usually in the form of confrontation and honest conversation), I make it through alive and nothing very bad happens. I might not be happy after the encounter, but I am no longer afraid, and I am moving forward, making progress.
Another fear I've recently faced is my fear of heights. I am not the most coordinated of people, and I have no depth perception, so heights scare me - I have no idea how high up I really am, or where things are in relation to where I am! Hanging holiday lights at my new house gave me the opportunity to face this fear. I had to climb above my ladder comfort level of three rungs. AW had left "for a drive" right as I was starting the project, so I was home alone (but neighbors were also outside, so I knew if I fell and screamed, someone would be there to help). I even had to use a tall roof ladder to hang the lights over the stairs, because my more familiar ladder with 4 "feet" wasn't tall enough. I made it through with a lot of positive self-talk, trusted myself, and the more times I climbed up and down (I could reach 2 clips - about 14 inches of lights before I had to move the ladder) and saw that nothing bad happened, the more confident I became. I'm actually looking forward to this weekend, when I need to climb up again because for some reason half the lights stopped working. Facing my fears definitely makes me more confident. I learn that I can trust myself, despite what others say or think. I might even make it up on the cabin roof this summer to remove pine needles and moss - I need to figure out how to do that, because my dad and his knees aren't going to be able to do that forever!
I hope you make today a great day
__________________
Skorpi
If you are depressed, you are living in the past. If you are anxious, you are living in the future. If you are at peace, you are living in the present. - Lao Tzu
Thank you Skorpi for your service... and I loved reading about your fear of heights accomplishment!
I really, really like the Quote for the Day!!
My share may not resonate with anyone... and that's OK. Take what you like... or not.
In my world, most of my "feelings" or intuition became facts. I learned from a very young age to trust my intuition. So I never fully identified with this aspect of the program. However, I am using the program to not allow my Fears to overwhelm me and cause me to react in a not so healthful way.
Hump day y'all... and the "Big Storm" finally got here... it is raining cats and dogs! Create a good day for yourself no matter the weather!
Grateful for a warm, cozy home & a good car to get me to work!
__________________
"The wolf that thrives, is the one you feed." - Cherokee legend
"Hello, sun in my face. Hello you who made the morning and spread it over the fields... Watch, now, how I start the day in happiness, in kindness." Mary Oliver
Good morning Skorpi and thank you for the daily and for your service. There is no doubt I made decisions fast and furious, with extreme emotions and selfish intent (often) before recovery. I am grateful that recovery has given me cause for pause, tools to change and a different way to consider life, love, recovery, acceptance, etc.
Love, love, love your share about the lights, heights, etc. I can so relate that facing fears helps with confidence. For me, it also helps me to know that no matter what I am facing, I am really not alone! I am headed out to golf this morning, forcing myself to add some 'fun/relaxing' into my day. I am still one who struggles with balance, especially when facing challenges and unknowns. I am working to remind myself how much I need to do self-care right now - it's the best way for me to have courage to be of maximum service to others.
Make it a great day and happy hump day to all! (((Hugs)))
__________________
Practice the PAUSE...Pause before judging. Pause before assuming. Pause before accusing. Pause whenever you are about to react harshly and you will avoid doing and saying things you will later regret. ~~~~ Lori Deschene
Thanks Skorpi for your service and thoughtful share. I hope you feel so very proud of yourself, whether the lights work or not! But I bet you will work that out too. :)
Fear ruled my life and decisions for many years. Its a great relief to have the tools of our program so I have learned I can actually get through situations like yourself. Its ODAT, progress not perfection, and of course, live and let live, even with the alcoholic. Lyne
Thank you, Skorpi, and all who have shared. I also have a fear of heights, but it's easier for me when I feel in control of the situation, as in, I'd rather be on top of the roof by myself than on top of the roof with someone I'm not sure I can trust.
Funny story -- I once decided to get my loved one a gift of a hot-air balloon ride for two, as a romantic Christmas gift. As we were in the balloon basket and it was starting to rise from the ground, I suddenly remembered --- yikes!! I don't like heights!! What was I thinking!! ... It all worked out fine, I just stayed away from the edge until we landed. A good learning experience, but I have no desire to do it again.
I can definitely relate to gaining confidence by facing fears and learning how to do things I have never done before. Have I shared that I recently replaced some electric outlets -- with the help of YouTube videos? That gave me huge confidence, but also the knowledge that next time it might be easier and quicker to hire someone. I have to distinguish things I can reasonably safely do myself and those where it would be wise to get outside help. Wisdom to know the difference.
I might not be happy after the encounter, but I am no longer afraid, and I am moving forward, making progress.
