The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
Good morning, MIP! I hope everyone is having some joy today.
The November 29 reading is about control. The writer had many reasons to be in control -- it meant being an adult, being cool, looking good on the outside, not feeling what was happening on the inside, and exhausting themselves while helping others. Al-Anon helped the writer realize that control was actually giving them the opposite of what they wanted. Trying to control others didn't work and kept loved ones at a distance. Trying to look good all the time made it difficult to share their true feelings. Being a do-gooder was actually being a martyr. Now, instead of being in control, they are being human. It is not easy, but it allows real relationships and real happiness.
Reminder: Today I can risk being myself. I don't have to live up to anyone's image. All I have to do is be me.
Quote from Al-Anon is for Adult Children of Alcoholics: "As I surrendered my imaginary power over others, I gained a more realistic view of my own life."
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It's uncanny how much this page is about me! I had imaginary power over others and honestly thought the only thing that mattered was looking good on the outside and making sure no one had negative feelings of any kind, especially about me. Al-Anon meetings and literature helped me realize that I needed to change my focus -- but it was in working the steps that I learned specifically what my faulty thinking was, and a balanced view of my assets and defects, and that I could share them without the cover-up of having to always be good, self-sacrificing, and perfect.
I love the quote. I had a hard time with the concept of surrender. Now I realize that surrendering my will is not giving up a real power, it is giving up an an imaginary power in favor of my real strength, which comes from the truth and from not trying to do everything alone.
Thank you Freetime for being here today! I am one of the few I personally know that have to work today...most got the Friday after Thanksgiving off. So here I am, bright and early (West Coast) and I am not disappointed!!
I too love this quote! Perhaps even better for me is what you shared about it!! "I had a hard time with the concept of surrender. Now I realize that surrendering my will is not giving up a real power, it is giving up an an imaginary power in favor of my real strength, which comes from the truth and from not trying to do everything alone." Thank you.
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"The wolf that thrives, is the one you feed." - Cherokee legend
"Hello, sun in my face. Hello you who made the morning and spread it over the fields... Watch, now, how I start the day in happiness, in kindness." Mary Oliver
Thank you Freetime for your service and the daily...I also can relate and had to discover through recovery that 'power' like 'perfection' is really overrated for my own serenity/life. I can see today how seeking power over people, places and things boxed me out of real, authentic relationships as I was perpetually hidden behind a wall built on unrealistic expectations, of self and others.
I am grateful for the gift of recovery, the support of those in recovery and all the tools we have. I love that we're asked to just focus on one day at a time, today, which I can do reasonable well now. (((Hugs))) to all - make it a great day!
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Practice the PAUSE...Pause before judging. Pause before assuming. Pause before accusing. Pause whenever you are about to react harshly and you will avoid doing and saying things you will later regret. ~~~~ Lori Deschene
Freetime, P. and IAm... when this first came up for me- from C2C I thought- I want to manage, but not to control. If a bear walked into the room I would want to control- "lets get out of here!" But it was like this in my home- threat or no threat.
This issue is a 'work in progress' for me- ... thanks.
Freetime, P. and IAm... when this first came up for me- from C2C I thought- I want to manage, but not to control. If a bear walked into the room I would want 
... thanks.